Kim's blog

A parents advice… for good or bad…

2011-08-26T05:47:00.000-04:00

Over the years of raising children and watching them grow, we as parents give a lot of advice. Some they take, some not so much. But always I wonder if the advice I’m giving as a parent is helpful or harmful in this day and age. As I’ve spent months debating this in my head, I believe that I’ve come to a couple conclusions. First, that of course, not everything works the same for every person or situation. And second, having been through many of the same situations I find my girls in at their current ages, and having lived a more varied life than they have yet to live, I still think some of these nuggets are sound for the younger crowd.

For anyone that has paid any attention to my blog or FB page, they’ve seen over and over a theme of respectful behavior. It’s something pretty important to me. I hate it when people that hold public office are not treated with respect, even if you don’t respect the person personally. I hate that people so easily lump people into categories based on what a few do that they don’t like. I hate that people call each other names, etc. All of that bothers me. And the strangest part about that is that I myself am not the kind of person that blanketly believes everyone deserves to be “respected”. I do, however, believe that you should treat all people with respect. I believe there is a difference in those two things, and I believe respect is earned, not guaranteed.
I remember being told at work early on in my career that I should respect the levels of management more . This happened because I didn’t stop an entire presentation in it’s logical order to answer a question that would have been answered more towards the end of my speech. A high level manager asked the question and apparently I should have just stopped where I was and answered it regardless of how far off track it took us. What I did was politely tell him that his question would be answered towards the end and would probably make more sense if we left it for later in the presentation. I guess that was the wrong approach, but the one that seemed the most logical to me based on the situation. Later when I was contemplating my way of handling it, I realized it was probably because of how I remember hearing from my dad “he puts his pants on one leg at a time just like you do” whenever topics like this came up when I was younger. To me that meant we were all the same. As long as you handled it respectfully, they weren’t any better than me just because they held a higher position.

So, if I took my queues from my father, does that mean my girls take them from me? Maybe. And if so, is it always appropriate. Here’s a couple things I’ve tried to instill in them.

I believe there is a line that should be drawn between them and people such as teachers, coaches, bosses, etc. I believe they should “be friendly” but not “friends” with those positional people. I believe there should be that boundry so that there is also a respectful relationship. If you’re ‘friends” that line can get blurred. If I look at the situation at their current ages, does that advice help or hurt them. Probably a little of both depending on the situation. However, if I project that advice out into their futures, I think I’m doing them a great service to spell it out for them now. When my little one started cheering at 7 years old, she was on a team where everyone else had cheered for a year before she got there. There were very clearly favorites among the teenage coaches and little girls. The parents could watch some girls being carried around by the coaches, always getting to hang out with them, etc. You could also watch other girls sitting in another group and the coaches not caring if they were there or not. Luckily, my girl was somewhere in the middle of those two extremes. However, she still cheers and would love to coach little ones. So for her future plans, and having seen those two extremes in her own young cheer career, my advice to her on the topic of drawing that line may help her NOT make any other little child feel bad, and I think that’s a good thing. On the flip of that, I’ve also witnessed her not talking to her own coaches enough to even let them know that she’s injured. She’d more likely just do what’s expected of her because the coach said so and not speak up. I’m sure there is a LOT of middle ground to be realized there  . I continue to work on that but, hopefully, she’ll find that sweet spot on her own.

There’s also the advice of not caring what others think about you as long as you’re happy with yourself. I’ve never been the type to care about that at all. I think I did push that off on my kids for sure. I’ve explained to them that even if they are confident in themselves, as long as they don’t go around saying it, they’ll be ok. There is unfortunately, a fine line between not caring what others think of you, and seeming conceited. As long as they keep their comments to themselves, they should be ok for the most part. That doesn’t mean they think they’re great or anything… but it does mean that they are happy enough with themselves that what others think doesn’t matter so much to them. Having said that, it also doesn’t mean they can’t get their feelings hurt by people. But it does mean that they tend to let a lot roll off. It’s been a struggle sometimes I’m sure, but for their future happiness, I think this is a very good trait. Much better than always having to worry about what others think so much that you conform to things you normally wouldn’t, or end up just being a follower. I’m actually quite proud of my girls for this trait. It’s a hard one to pull off sometimes. And it’s also hard to correlate that with the criticism that can come from others. However, not caring what people think does not mean ignoring what is said. People should never ignore criticism, but should find out what’s behind it. Ask for help with whatever you’re being criticized about. If the person doing it is truly trying to give “constructive criticism” they’ll be willing to take the time to help you. If they aren’t willing to help you, it’s likely they aren’t trying to be constructive at all, but that there is something more at play. Either way, you’ll learn something out of the exchange that can come in handy for the future.

And finally, how about this good nugget… There will always be someone better at something than you are, and you’ll always be better at something than someone else. That doesn’t mean you don’t try harder at something, but does mean you shouldn’t compare yourself to others. (I know, easier said than done sometimes). Remember that others are comparing themselves to someone too. Maybe you. The point is to just strive to be YOUR best, not THE best and you’ll end up being happy with yourself for trying and for recognizing your own personal growth.

While pondering these thoughts these last couple months, I realized that they were probably coming from a place of uncertainty about all our upcoming changes. One of my girls goes to College for the first time. They’ll be new professors, friends, coaches, directors, etc. The advice holds with all these changes… Treat others with respect, everyone deserves that even if you don’t personally respect the person or position they hold. Be friendly to everyone, not just who you are friends with. And strive to achieve your own personal best at whatever you do without letting others tear you down. If you can successfully follow those rules, you’ll be happier with yourself overall and that’s when your true light will shine through. You’ll be the better person you want to be.

So to both my girls I say, go forth and concur whatever new changes and challenges lie ahead for you. And if this and other advice I’ve given you over these wonderful years of parenting you has been harmful, I’m sorry for that. But never sorry for sharing experiences that will help you in the long run even if they seem odd now. I realize not all of it will work for each of you and you’ll find your own way in life ultimately. But always remember that no matter what, you can ALWAYS count on me to be here for you in a way that you don’t even comprehend at the moment. As the song said when you were younger “…and when the day is done my mama’s still my biggest fan” will always hold true.

One last thing to remember, there will always be a lot of people willing to judge you, but in the end, two things are for certain. What you think about yourself matters most now, and secondly, that there is only one “person” who’s judgement will ultimately matter. One “person” that knows how everyone is treating others. Only you can determine who’s judgement matters most to you? Theirs or HIS?

Why does everything have to be a controversy...

2011-06-20T12:58:00.002-04:00

I was watching the news this morning and the big story was how so many people are up in arms about NBCs opening of the golf tournament yesterday. They are talking about boycotting NBC, NBC apologizing, etc. All because they took the words "under God" out of the opening where a part of it was kids saying the Pledge of Allegiance. My first thought was, "ok if that's what they did, and it was on purpose, some people have the right to be upset about it if they want to".

However, they then played what really happened. It wasn't that just the words "under God" were removed as they are making it seem. Yes, they were the only ones omitted in the first part, in the 2nd part "one nation, under god" was omitted. Are people upset that "One Nation" was omitted... not so much. I don't think it was a slam to God at all. I think they were trying a montage of things, the pledge being one of them and started with a few lines, ended with the last, and the middle was gone. It happens it was the same timing, but not only the "under God". Not just two words.

Why do we always dissect everything to death to the point of calling for apologies or boycotts over everything. Maybe they actually were trying to make a statement. But maybe that statement was that not everyone believes in one God or the same God and they were trying to not offend just one particular group. It is the biggest group, but it isn't the only group. Maybe they were making a statement about our countries supposed religious tolerance. After all, if you go back pre-1954, "under God" wasn't a part of the Pledge. I'm happy to say it when I saw the pledge, but not everyone does. That doesn't make them wrong any more than it makes me right.

Or maybe they weren't trying to do anything at all and it was poor editing. Maybe (as Tim would say), sometimes a smoke is just a smoke.

The lessons of disappointment

2011-06-18T12:04:00.003-04:00

A few years back, I wrote on how schools in our county were thinking of doing away with Valedictorian and Salutatorian awards in our schools. I was crazy about it because the big reasoning seemed to be based on the fact that other students not up for the honor, somehow felt bad for not getting it. That seemed a very crazy reason for the change to me.

So today, my own school district announced it had approved a plan to do away with the distinction. Not surprisingly, they site reasons such as moving to new standards with tiered approach for honors of Summa cum laude, magna cum laude and cum laude so that MORE kids can achieve the honor. However, the underlying theme is, again, "often pits students against each other" while trying to attain the top 2 spots. I say that's a trumped up reason and has been for years. And here's why...

I don't mind them changing the criteria for the top rankings (AP classes should be considered higher than non-AP classes. This would stop the folks that only want to be in the top spots so they take easier classes that they know they can ace. There should be a better weighted ranking then there was in our school district. I'm all for changing those. What I'm not for is even after those changes, they should NOT take away the honor of those that hit those top two spots.

If the real reasoning is so the kids that don't make the honor don't feel bad, then maybe we should spend more time on managing expectations. I have a very clear example of that I can share.

I have a daughter that has been working for years towards and end goal with very specific timing in mind. Her timing was this year. I have done my very best to support her in her goal and even push her to do everything she can to try to achieve it. However, while supporting, I have also counseled that she may not make it. There are rules, there are very specific things that need to be done. And sometimes those things can change along the way. You just never know. If she makes this goal, I will be very proud of her as I know her dedication and hard work that has gone into it. If she doesn't make her goal, will she be disappointed? absolutely. But the true lesson in it will be how she handles that disappointment. And frankly, even if she makes her goal, how she handles that too will be of importance to me. Both of those things show character and her ability to march on.

I believe in setting goals for oneself. But in doing so, you need to also know that there could be disappointment. It comes with the territory. I'd be more concerned if someone didn't have goals just because of the disappointment they'd feel if they didn't achieve them. I have faith in my daughter that she'll be able to do what's required of her. But if she can't for some reason, she can't. And sometimes, even if you can do what's required, that doesn't automatically guarantee success either.

Take the working world for instance. How many times have you seen people apply for jobs that were already pre-determined? They need to post jobs to everyone even if they already know the outcome and know who they want for the job. I've been on both sides of that situation. I've interviewed for jobs I knew I wouldn't get because they had someone in mind for it already. I hated that. Unfortunately, I've been on the other side as well, interviewing for a job that I basically knew would already be mine if I wanted it. Which interview do you think I prepared more for? Competition is good for people. It shows strength, determination, perseverance,etc. However, how people handle disappointment shows important qualities as well.

Everyone can't always win, but everyone will lose at some point in their lives. Teaching kids that they can always be the best is dangerous. We must always support them and their goals, but there comes a time when they should be realistic as well. It's that whole American Idol syndrome we all have to suffer thru each season where the contestant says their family has always told them they were the best. Unfortunately, we get to hear the truth. I'm beginning to wonder if the bigger problem isn't that at a very young age most parents tell their kids "if you try hard you can do anything". Well, that's really not true at all. What we should (and I've always tried to do) is tell them "Do the best that you can do for yourself, don't compete against others, compete against you". And maybe even a little bit more of "not everyone will win, it's how you lose that's important".

So, I'm very disappointed in the decision in Webster today. I believe those top 2 should still get their recognition. I believe that others should learn to be happy for the winners, even if it means you aren't one of them.

My first sports blog...

2011-05-11T11:32:00.001-04:00

I’m going to start off with a bit of background to cement my reasons for writing, then I’ll get to it, I promise.
As some of you know from my updates, I’m a HUGE Celtics fan (and basketball in general really). I enjoy a good game no matter who is playing (with maybe the exception of 2 teams). But I’ll always be true to my Green machine. My love of the game and the Celtics in particular started so long ago, I almost don’t remember NOT being a fan. I watched all through the Larry Bird era with my Dad, and waited 22 years for another title (a very long wait). When they won again 2 years ago, I knew then it wasn’t the start of a long run like it was in the 80s, as the guys that won on that team were already a bit older and a bit more injury prone. Last year, they went to the finals again, but lost in the last 1 ½ minutes of game 7 to the Lakers. That was a great series. Again, this year, they started off well, but traded 5 players on trade deadline day, and between getting a bunch of new guys that haven’t played together long, and with numerous injuries, we all know they are not faring well in their current series against Miami Heat (down 3-1 going into tonight). So, tonight is being played in Miami (and well, if you’ve watched any b-ball at all this year, we all know how that will go even if my guys play perfectly. There are definitely “things” playing in Miami that never go on anyone other than Miami’s side. I’ll leave that for my own thoughts. I can’t do anything about that. It is what it is.

However, there are some things happening in basketball recently that I think someone should do something about. Don’t get me wrong, I really love a physical game. I’m also of the opinion that it should be allowed to get even a bit more physical during the playoffs. The whole level of intensity changes from the last game of regular season, to the first game of the playoffs. I’m not sure what makes that particular switch go off in the players heads, but it does. It has to or you don’t last past the first round in the playoffs. There’s enough talent on many teams to go far, but without the mental toughness, talent won’t take you to the end. But the level of play, and the inability of the officials to call a game equitably, has me concerned. It’s as if we are going back to the Bill Laibeer Detroit Piston days. It was 1987 when Celtics/Pistons were playing for the Eastern Conference Championship. That entire series was very physical and hard fouls were let go with no calls. The Pistons just kept getting more and more cocky that they could get away with anything. And it seemed to the fans, that was true. Game 3 Laimbeer takes out Bird. By game 5 Laimbeer was so out of control that the normally calm Robert Parish just punched him in the face. Yes, Robert was ejected and rightfully so. But also, rightfully so, he was cheered on for it. Some claimed it was their greatest moment as a fan. The team could only take so much and punches were going to be thrown if someone didn’t stop the insanity that was happening on the court. It’s noteworthy to say that that game was also the one you hear a lot on NBA commercials with an overly excited announcer stating “Larry stole the ball”. The other great moment of that game (2 seconds left , Larry Bird steals the Pistons Isaiah Thomas inbound pass, throws to Dennis Johnson who scores and wins the game sending series 3-2 Celtics). I may have just lost my voice in that one, can’t remember. But I digress.

It seems that type of play is starting to happen all over again. It’s always been physical, and I stated above that I like physical, but the take outs just for the sake of them are not what the game should be about. It wasn’t all those years ago (and yes my Celtics made some bad plays too), and it shouldn’t be played that way now either. There is much talk on ESPN, sports blogs and the podcasts I’ve been listening to about the Rajon Rondo take down by Dwayne Wade in game 3 of our current series. It wasn’t an accident, but no, I don’t believe he wanted to injure Rondo quite as badly as he did. However heroic a return Rondo made with a dislocated left elbow and came back into the game with a lead arm hanging at his side, he isn’t up to his normal play. Is that helping the Miami Heat… sure it is. But it’s not the factor in the loss in game 4. The C’s are older, and tired and are playing a talented and much younger group of guys. However, the inequality of the calls is astounding. LeBron James can take someone out and then be seen laughing about it while the camera is on him. They can just come from behind and wrap up our guys in a bear hug or toss them to the ground and it’s normal ball. That’s the part that needs to be dealt with. And I don’t just mean it because of the examples against my team. I’ve been watching all the playoffs and it seems like this type of play is the norm now. The officials occasionally call foul on it, or worse yet “the double technical”, but it isn’t enough. The NBA and David Stern need to get this back to a game of basic good playing basketball without all the theatrics. When all the other crap goes on, it lessens the sport. These teams should be proud to be where they are because of GOOD playing, not because they can take someone out and only get a foul called on them for doing so. There needs to be more consequences for intentional take downs.

I realize this is a business, and it’s obvious from how the league handles the Miami Heat ever since LeBrons “decision”, that it’s really only about money for the owners and even the Commissioner himself. But let’s put some pride back in to the sport for the real basketball lovers like myself. The players should have enough pride that even when they are loosing, they don’t resort to the kind of stuff the Lakers did in their 4th game of being swept out of their series this week. I’m not a Laker fan (ok, I’m not a Kobe fan), but when two different guys get ejected from a game within a minute of each other at the end of it, is that how you really want to go out as a “team”. I know it’s hard to lose, and my guys may do it this week too (maybe even tonight), but I’d hope that if/when they do, they go out with the Celtic Pride they should be showing, and not go out being remembered as just taking people out because their mad.. I’d be very disappointed in them if they handled themselves that way. It could happen, but if it does, I’ll be the first to denounce it, just as I was with the Lakers performance in game 4.

So officials, start really officiating these games fairly. What goes for one team MUST go for another. And David Stern, stop caring so much about the money Miami is bringing to the league and do something about the other issues. It’s great to fine people for using bad language against the refs as you’ve done this season, but how about fining some refs for not having better consistency in games and allowing some of the really blatent hits to occur. If they let the teams get away with it, it’ll only get worse. If we don’t want to see a player get pushed as far as Robert Parish did in ’87, make sure there isn’t a need. These ball players are, after all, human. If they keep getting away with something, they’ll keep pushing to see how far they can go. I want good basketball, and part of that means good officiating. That is NOT happening in any of the series this year.

Having said all of this, it doesn’t look too good for my team given they need to win the next 3 games, two of them being played in Miami. If they win, I’ll be thrilled. If they lose, I’ll be disappointed. However, I’ll be even more disappointed if it’s a blood bath by either team. Play the game with talent and with your heads in the right place. You don’t need to hurt anyone to win a game, or a least you shouldn’t.

And fans, a note for you too… I know everyone has heard that good sportsmanship is about losing graciously. It’s also about wining graciously. I think that’s something lost on a lot of people these days. It isn’t necessary to be disrespectful to a losing team. I posted on Mother’s day about my good day and how we were watching the Lakers get swept from their series. That was a matter of fact statement, not a gloat. Sure I’m happy they won’t be in the Finals… time for someone else to have a chance  (maybe Oklahoma, Dallas) But, I would have liked to see them go out on a better note after all the years they had as a respected franchise. The pressure took them down a road I didn’t want to see them go down, and it was disappointing. Respect for any team playing should be observed. If either of the two teams I don’t like end up in the Finals, I’d be happy for them. I probably won’t watch, but I’d be happy they achieved something they wanted so badly… or at least I will if I feel it’s a fair win.

Social Security "Fix"

2011-01-26T10:11:00.002-05:00

For a long time now we’ve been hearing how the GOP would like to “fix” social security. Their idea of “fix” of course is to do away with by the time my generation would begin to collect this money that we’ve paid into for so long now. Oh, they aren't coming right out and saying that, but reading between the lines, which is not hard to do, means exactly that. From G.W. privatization plan, to last nights Ryan saying (while talking about budget cuts) “If we act soon, and if we act responsibly, people in and near retirement will be protected." What that means is that there will be NO changes to Social Security for those that in the very near future will hit that magical age, or those that are already collecting. No wonder so many older people are ok with this. It won’t effect them. However, what about all the screaming some of those older folks are doing about what we are leaving their kids and grandkids. Those “kids” are us… my generation. People like me that have paid into this system since I started working at 17 and without interruption, and paid my SS monies. What will the actual idea for us be in this arena? Will they be back to putting our money into private accounts where we could invest it? Because if that’s their idea, we can already see how well that will work. Those that are already investing had a real great time in the last two years when we lost much of our investments. If that is their plan, do they plan to back that money by the federal gov’t should we go belly up based on the their policies that will get us into a mess all over again? I somehow doubt that because that would be a “safety net” and we all know how they feel about having those.

So, here’s my idea. If they are so bent on making sure my generation does not collect the Social Security that I’ve paid into for more than half my life, then how about a one time buy out. Give me every bit of money I’ve put in over my life time and let me do what I want with it. And oh, by the way, I want it TAX FREE since they are so big on low taxes. They should no longer be able to benefit from the money I’ve been investing in this program all these years, if they don’t want to allow me to benefit from it later as was meant to be. Of course, I’d still have to invest it on my own and could still stand to lose much of it when they ignore things that are collapsing again… but I suppose at that point, at least it’ll be my problem for not watching out for it better than they think they can. However, when the majority of folks that know nothing about investing lose everything, I’m sure they’ll feel bad about them not being able to feed themselves , house themselves, cloth themselves, etc, right? Or, maybe that’s their new way of weeding out people later in life. Their own version of the “death panels” they so like to talk about.

Can’t wait to see how they try playing all of this out. Will make for great entertainment. I can’t wait even more to see how many people buy into the explanations from them. Just give me my money (and yes, it is mine… I earned it, they took it and it appears they don’t want me to get it back later). Give it to me and let me just get on with my life so I don’t have to listen to the crap any more.

"Dear Mr. President" FB rants

2010-11-22T08:17:00.003-05:00

I've seen the following on people's FB page lately...

Dear Mr. President I hear you would like to freeze pay rates for military starting next year. Would you also consider cutting your own pay to save much more money for our country? While you're at it, lets cut down congressman's pay too. If the people who risk their lives don't get an increase in pay, why would we continue raising pay for those who take no risks and reap the benefits? Keep it going if you agree.

Of course, in my opinion, this is just another thing getting attached directly to the President as if it's his wish that this happen. If it sounds negative, let's blame him. This really needs to stop. This is a DRAFT of an idea of the commission that he put together to determine how we MIGHT cut the deficit. This isn't the President's idea. But if you look at people's FB, it's yet another thing he is getting wrong.

The commission will put out their final report, it will need to get by congress before he could even sign off on it. That would be unlikely in our current environment. And... this pay cut is not across the board in military people either. No one risking their lives in combat would fall under this freeze, for instance. So people, let's just relax and start attributing ideas where they really should be. How about instead of just reposting things that are seen on other's walls, you actually research them first. You could start by reading this. And maybe, we could all remember how things get past in our government. The President doesn't just think of these things and they become law. It doesn't work that way.

To be clear, I'm not stating at all that I'm for pay cuts for those defending our country. I'm not in favor of anything that takes our strength away from those folks for something real not made up by politicians to sound bad. In fact, DADT if not repealed, will continue to weaken us as well as we stand to loose tens of thousands of good folks that are willing to serve and defend our country, simply because they have a different life style than someone deems fit for military service. That's a shame. However, I am advocating that people really think before they post and attribute things to a specific individual (The President) just because it furthers their negative campaign against him. If all that BS stops, we might start getting something done for a change.

Praying for Atheists

2010-09-20T09:42:00.003-04:00

I was reading my news feeds this morning and came across this article. It is about the well know atheist, Christopher Hitchens, who has been diagnosed with Cancer. He is in his 4th round of Chemo and to his admittance, "he is dying... just faster than the rest of us". There is a group of people that have planned a "Everybody Pray for Hitchens Day." He will not be attending.

Reading this article, brings about some interesting questions. He declares that there are many people that are praying for him and that he puts them into three different categories,

those who seem genuinely glad he's suffering and dying from cancer; those who want him to become a believer in their religious faith; and those who are asking God to heal him. It's these categories that got me to thinking.

If you fall in the "glad he's suffering and dying from cancer" then that's just really sad. My guess is that he believes there are Christians in that category that believe he's getting what he deserves based on his strong Atheistic views. If that's the case, than shame on those people. They really aren't Christians after all. It would be those Christians that should pray the most for his recovery, if for no other reason than then they could say "see, God does exist and healed you".

These would would be the folks that I would see in category two "those who want him to become a believer". What better way to try to convert him than having a special day set aside to do nothing but pray for his heath. If he gets better, than maybe he'll see the light and believe all those prayers were answered. Or would he? That is the question I'm pondering. Would an atheist such as himself ever be able to believe that God answered those prayers or would it be all a coincidence. Knowing you had so many people praying for you to recover, and you do when all odds are against it... would that open your heart to believing? And, would God really answer those prayers for the sole purpose of hoping for that conversion, or would God really let him suffer based on his previous actions? All good questions that can generate a lot of conversation, but possibly not any useful answers from people. You'd never know what could have been done with a conversion, until a person is healed and then actually willing to consider something other than coincidence. It would be that category three "praying for healing" that would have to have some good consideration were that to happen for him.

One interesting comment in the article, was " It's that third group _ people who are asking God for Hitchens' healing _ that causes Hitchens to choose his words even more carefully than normal. Are those prayers OK? Are they helpful? "I say it's fine by me, I think of it as a nice gesture. And it may well make them feel better, which is a good thing in itself," says Hitchens.

That response is something I'm familiar with in my own life having a man in my life who is an atheist. When Tim went through his brain tumor surgery three years ago, we knew at the time it wasn't life threatening (meaning it wasn't cancerous). But Tim received many many prayers for him to come through it all safely, prayers for myself and his family, etc. And, he was very appreciative of those prayers. It touched him that people would take the time to pray for him, even though it isn't something he believes in or would do himself. He knows that prayers mean something to others and is an important part of their lives and he is very respectful of that. He believes that in that context, it is good for everyone. For those praying for him that they feel like they are doing something for him, and for himself, it was touching that they cared enough about him to pray for him. I am not at all comparing him to Hitchens in any way other than that they are self proclaimed atheists. Trust me, Tim is way more respectful than I've ever found Hitchens to be about other peoples belief systems. I'm just saying that maybe there are those out there that are lumping all Atheists into the same broad brush as they are currently trying to lump all Muslims. Atheists come in all levels of their dis-belief system the same way believers come in all levels. Some are very very extreme on both sides. Others are very very respectful. It's all in how you go about it.

So, as the Christian that I am and hope to show to others, I would most definitely pray for Christopher Hitchens. Not to prove a point to him that God will answer my prayers and certainly not to pray for him to die. I will pray for him because it's not only the Christian thing to do to pray for those suffering, but it's the right thing to do as a human being for someone who is suffering. After all, if you don't like him, at least think of what his family and his children are going through with the thought of losing their husband, son, sibling, father. It's very simply, the right thing to do.

Longing for the old, but ringing in the new

2010-08-11T09:48:00.003-04:00

I'm not entirely sure what's going on in my head today. Maybe I'm just missing my girls as they are on vacation with their father and completely out of pocket. Being this out of touch is something I'm not used to, especially with my youngest. She's always in touch... mostly because she's forgotten something she needs me to do or bring to her when she's not with me, or asking if she can make plans for when she is here, but it makes me feel like she just misses me somehow :) But today, I'm feeling a bit torn in my thoughts.

I'm feeling a bit nostalgic for the old days. The days when they were little and wanted to be doing more family stuff. The days where I watched Jennifer do "gymnastics" on the log at her dad's families cottage where she jumped 6 inches off the log and did the "arms in air" pose of the Olympians when they were done with their routine while she shouted "ta da". Or when she and I would sing her favorite Disney movie songs... I would sing the beginning of each sentence and leave out the last word and she'd fill it in. We did that for years. I'm remembering the days where my Lauren had "her dance" that was the cutest thing ever (don't know how she got so low to the ground). When she cheered at 7 years old after much "discussion" to be able to be on the team. Her Dad didn't really want her to do it as the games were on Sunday mornings and she'd miss church. I assured him that if she was that close to God, she'd still be if she missed some Sundays during football season (and God likely would love that she was using the talents he gave her). After that first "win" in a big competition, she threw her arms around me and thanked me for fighting for her to be able to cheer. I saw that "hooked" look at that very moment. Who knew then I'd still be at every game and competition 7 years later.

You see, I just can't imagine having missed any of those little moments. For some reason today, they are just coming back to me in floods and with tears in my eyes even as I type this. You can never re-create moments like that. You can just cherish them enough that they live on in your memory forever (and I don't doubt that they will). Just thinking about some of those things can bring me right back to the thoughts and feelings I had when they were going on the first time. I can hear the sweet little voices like it was yesterday. There are times I wish it was. However, missing those times does not mean for a minute that I don't like the current state.

Yeah, they don't tend to do as much "family" stuff as friends are their life now. And I'm the kind of Mom that really is ok with that. As the kids age, it really does make you realize that it's not the quantity of time you get to spend with them, it really is the quality. We may not do the same kinds of things we did before, but just being around them and observing the lovely ladies they are turning out to be, is amazing in it's own right. I've spent the last year watching Jen go through the good and bad parts of college searching, learning to drive, having great fun with her friends and I realize that this is the last year I'll see all of that. After this year (her senior year), she'll go through most things while away at college. Sure, cell phones and Facebook make it much easier to stay connected, but the simple observations will start to be lost to me. The notion of watching her interact with her friends and determining her personality based on that, will not be an every day task as it is now. Lauren is going into high school, which begins a new phase of sorts for her as well. There is still much time to have her determine the woman she'll be by the time she goes away to college, and much room to grow in other areas. I know that I'll love the new phases of their lives as much as I've loved the past phases. It'll just get harder to see the steps involved along the way in their journey.

In remembering all the little things today, and dreaming of their futures, one thing remains... it has been SO great to be their mother. I wouldn't trade one single part of it for anything in the world. They have made me happy, sad, frustrated at times, exhausted, frightened and every other emotion you could think of. But always, they've made me proud. Here's looking forward to what's in store for their futures. Now... if only I could figure out why all of this is in my head today. Oh well, going down memory lane about my girls is never a bad thing. I'll just enjoy the ride...

Spam mail go away

2010-08-02T13:49:00.003-04:00

Ok, I get why spam mail exists, even though I don't like it. I mean, there are those people that open all of it and ultimately buy stuff from it. I do NOT happen to be one of them. I try my best to keep up with marking spam mail as junk so that I don't have to see it. But lately, I just can't seem to keep up with it all. More importantly is how my spam mail has changed in the last few weeks. I mean, really, is someone playing games with me??? I've about had my fill of eHarmony, match.com, etc coming into my in-box. Someone obviously doesn't know me very well or they'd know that I'd NEVER go on one of those sites as I'm COMPLETELY happy with my current relationship status. And WHY would you ever go on one of those sites if you were in a happy and committed relationship??? Unless of course you have other issues and are just trying to make people think you are happy but are secretly prowling around... in which case that is a very different issue all together... but I digress.

And, just in case I'm not happy and want to be on these dating sites... which I don't... my spam mail can make me feel badly that I'm now reaching my more middle-aged years (as if I didn't know that already). I'm getting AARP mail much more than I'd like to think I deserve (I say as I'm having a day that is more pain free than some of mine recently have been). I'm sensing some sort of pattern in my in box lately which I'm not too thrilled about... I'm OLD (AARP) and therefore should be unhappy with my current relationship and looking for another one (dating sites).

Trust me... I didn't sign up for any of these emails. I'm feeling pretty young (at least today I am) and I'm very happily committed to Tim EVERY DAY. So... SPAM MAIL... LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY :( Geez...

How I put things into perspective...

2010-07-21T21:33:00.002-04:00

I don't usually write things about myself and especially about any medical things I might have going on. However, in the past month, I've been suffering a bit with a hand (or more accurately thumb) injury. Luckily this has been with my left hand, and I'm right handed so I was pretty sure it wouldn't be any big issue. I quickly realized how much one actually uses their non-dominant hand and especially how important the thumb actually is. Previously, I never thought much about how I open jars, how I hold things or even how I get dressed until their is searing pain when trying to do these simple tasks. And forget about that barbell class I love so much at Golds Gym. Not happening for a while. Long story short is I had 2 cortisone shots today in two different tendons and found out a have a small bone spur where my thumb connects into its socket. Even with all the numbing spray they put on me prior to the shots, they were quite uncomfortable. The good news is immediately I could move my thumb without pain. Ok, so they told me not to get to used to that as it was only because I couldn't actually FEEL my hand and once that wore off, I'd have feeling I didn't want. Boy were they right. It's pretty sore right now from the shots. I'll be patient waiting for the effects of it to kick in and hopefully, this will be a cure, not just a starting point. One can be hopeful.

Having told my story, I've been spending some time tonight thinking about how the last month has been kind of strange with compensating for the injury and the pain itself, but in doing that thinking, I realized that the reason I don't talk much about any injuries of my own, is that as soon as I start thinking about it, I can always find someone else to turn my attention too, and that's what happened tonight as well.

Tonight, I was reminded (maybe brought on by a FB post of Tim's a couple days ago), that in August it will be the 3 year anniversary of Tim's brain tumor surgery. It was such a long road for him and clearly the toughest thing I've been through with someone medically since my father passed away (which is coming up on 10 years ago on July 27th). Tim was an amazing person through it all, at times being more worried about me and his family and what it was doing to all of us, than he was worried for himself. I thought what he went through was such a big deal that clearly we'll be done with big medical issues for a long time after that one.

However (and I'll keep specific names out of it for their privacy), since Tim's surgery, one of my very dear girlfriends found herself in a scare that ended up being Ovarian Cancer, which she luckily caught early. She was the first person I was close with that had Cancer, and oh by the way, she's younger than I am. This just shouldn't happen. And within the last year, 2 immensely important people to me that I consider not only my family, but among the best people I've ever known, were also diagnosed with different types of Cancer.

The range of emotions that everyone involved goes through with all these four medical issues is more than I can even do justice to in writing. But through it all, all four of these people have had tremendous support from loving families and friends... and that's what it's really all about. I would be there for anything any of them ever needed and the feelings that I have for ALL of them are so strong, that nothing else matters. That is how we put things into perspective and those are the types of people that deserve to have NOT gone through any of their medical troubles. So for me, putting things into perspective isn't focusing on "there is always someone worse off than me" but rather focusing on "What can I do to make it easier for them"... even if that means just being there to listen if they want to talk about it, or just make them laugh about anything so they have something else to think about even if just for a short time.

To all 4 of you (you know who you are)... I love you more than you'll ever know. And if you ever need anything, I'm right there for you... always.

It Must Be Love

2010-06-15T19:10:00.003-04:00

For those that know me already, you know that I feel I have a terrific man in my life. Very caring, respectful, loving, intelligent, etc. Although we've been together for a little over 7 years now, I never realized just how much this man loved me until the last few months. You must understand, he is many things, but a sports enthusiast, he is not. He's knows them, has played them, but he is simply not a watcher of sports. Trust me, I REALLY love that during football season as I'm not abandoned every Sunday all day. In fact, he'd gladly do anything else I'd rather do on a Sunday during the winter months than sit in front of a football game... with the exception of the Superbowl... and only then, it's because there is usually a party that involves large amounts of food and beer.

However, for the last few months, he's endured my completely LOVE of the NBA, and more importantly, my very favorite CELTICS!!! They have been my team for as long as I can remember. I watched nearly every game when I still lived at home with my parents, with my Dad, who was also a huge fan. We went thru the whole Larry Bird years (the good as well as the not so good when he was at the end of his career and injured more often than not). I taught a couple of my sisters sons every rule of the game when they were little and watched with me and their grandpa. Her youngest spent one entire game asking me who won with each basket he saw made in the game. I told him on several occasions that I would tell him who won when it was really over, but that did not deter him from asking. It was just my luck that the particular game in which this occurred went into triple over time. But he was maybe 5 years old at the time, so it was hard to be upset. It was more cool that he was even asking the questions... however long of a night it turned out to be :) But I digress... now back to Tim.

He always knew how much I loved basketball. I even get a bit crazy at the JV games my daughter cheers for. He knew how happy I was when the Celtics won the Championship in 2008, but he never had to watch a game with me. This year, no one expected the C's to make it as far as they did. They started off their season with a bang, but last half of it, there were a lot of injuries and a lot of losses. The coach said he'd be happy if they were 4th of 5th in their division, and that's exactly where they ended up. But, they made the playoffs. And Tim made (depending on how you look at it) either his first mistake, or his first sign of showing me the love. He told me I could come watch one of the games on his new 46" TV, and he stuck around to watch with me.

No one expected them to get past the first round (and I think after Tim witnessed me watching a game, he might have been hopeful they wouldn't either). Orlando Magic was supposed to be too tough... but they blew past them. Then the Cavaliers were going to be completely unattainable... again, they took the series from them as well. Tim now knows first hand that when I get nervous at the end of a close game, no matter how big the TV screen is, I am now standing in front of it almost nose-to-nose with the players. He's heard me yell at officials who make horrendous calls, he's heard me call players pet names very loudly as if I'm the actual announcer at the stadium (which by the way would be very cool), and he's seen me decked out in more Celtics huge clothing than any guy should have to endure their lady wearing. And through it all, I think I wore off on him a bit.

My Celtics won the Eastern Conference Championship and are once again, playing the Lakers for the NBA Title. Tim and I haven't been able to be together in the same room for some of the games, but he's now watching even without me. He's texting me during the games to say something was a bad call or that someone made a good play. He knows the players names and how well they are doing in the game. He's even yelling at officials via text to me. At one point the funniest exchange from him was a text that said...

"you're going to make me miss The Daily Show aren't you". I assured him it wasn't my fault he couldn't turn the channel on his TV, and told him I was surprised that he was still watching the game. His reply was "my baby's boys are fighting for survival". Too funny. I got him. I even told him if he wasn't careful I'd have to buy him some Celtic Green to wear. His reply "I like Green".

So, tonight is Game 6 of the Finals. My team is up 3 to 2. We are playing on the road in LA. If we win tonight, it's over and we are Champions for the 18th time. If not, there is a game 7 (also in LA) where it could be tough as both these teams always want the win and will fight hard for it. Of course I want the win really bad (and tonight would be the best time to get it). But even if my TEAM doesn't win, I know that my TIM must really love me to have hung in there this long with me, and even seemed to enjoy parts of it. Thanks babe... I love you too!!!

Respect Given Where Due

2010-05-19T20:51:00.004-04:00

I have always been a firm believer that respect must be earned, not simply guaranteed to anyone. Having said that, I also believe that people sometimes use the wrong term when they are telling people to "be respectful" towards someone. I think in that context, it should be amended to "be courteous".

My issue has always been that I've known FAR too many "adults" that believe kids should always respect them simply because they are adults. These same people, however, don't believe that they need to show that same respect towards kids... that somehow the kids don't deserve the same treatment. I find that to be sad. It's the "kids should be seen not heard" mentality that I never could understand. I wonder if some of that thinking comes from the fact that adults feel kids haven't been around long enough, or gone through enough of life's trials to have earned their respect. But time is not the only factor in whether or not someone should be respected. It's what they do with their time that matters.

I spent two night this week being a judge for Thomas High School Senior Project Presentations. This is the 3rd year I've participated and each night when I come home, it reminds me of why I think kids should be shown their due respect. There are some very intelligent kids out there, with very good ideas and passions around a wide variety of interests. Those kids, when done pursuing their passions, will become amazing contributing members of our society, and that fact should not be overlooked. In reality, most I've seen are already contributing to our local community in ways that many adults have no idea is happening.

Here is a sampling of topics from the presentations I've been able to see in the last two nights...

Volunteering at Hope House, which is a local organization helping those in need with food/clothing/basic needs. The presenter wants to continue with this volunteering even now that the project is over as she was so touched by the people that came in and never realized there was such a need for this kind of help in her own community.

Internship at a company that makes virtual reality gaming, and the presenter is pursuing a career in gaming design.

Project as a Chem Lab Tech for the school pursuing an Chemical Science career.

Internship at a local TV station with passion for the production side of radio/tv.

Internship with an Update NY Congressman, definite pursuit in politics, but the experience made her re-evaluate at what level of politics she wants to pursue.

Internship with an Assistant District Attorney, originally pursuing a career as a DA, but now is adding to her future goals. Based on having met a number of Judges she now hopes to be a Judge after her DA career.

Studying how to write successfully and based on this project, wrote a 45 page fictional story that was accepted as consideration for a final piece in a contest at University of Texas at Austin. If one of the top 10 selected during the final round, would be published. That's huge for someone that just started down this path.

And these were just some of the presentations. All these kids worked all year on their projects, which required a specific amount of out of school hours with their mentors, written proposals and presentations, as well as this final presentation in front of community members for grading. This work was done while juggling their class work, sports, jobs, as well as preparing for their college applications, etc.

While I reflect on my nights of judging their live presentations, I realize that these kids are our future, and I for one, will certainly remember to give them the respect they deserve for all their hard work.

Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me

2010-05-02T18:03:00.002-04:00

The above saying is one that I've heard so many times in my life and have always believed was absolutely true. And upon hearing it again recently, it brought me to my question of the day which follows later in the blog. If you can fool or manipulate me one time, you've done something not many can do because I'm pretty good at reading people and their motives for what they do. However, I can't say it makes you a very good person for even trying to manipulate people and/or situations in the first place. Then, if you can do it to me again, I'm an idiot. And that, I'm not. I catch on REAL fast to people. In my past life, there were those that hated the notion that I was that in tune to my feelings about people. Mostly the people that hated that about me was because they found out in the end that I was right. It just took them a little longer to get to that end game than it did me.

When I say I could sense things pretty quickly, that didn't make me change my behavior towards the person in general. I would always be polite and helpful if I could or the opportunity arose. Where the issue came, was that I couldn't respect them for their deceitful manipulative ways, and I couldn't trust them from then on. Once trust is gone for me, it's gone and almost impossible to regain. If I love a person, I'll give them the best shot, but if they are not someone in my life, but have done something to manipulate me or a situation that I'm involved with, all bets are off. The issue then is that EVERYTHING they do in the future is suspect to me and comes with me believing they are trying to manipulate something again. I will then ALWAYS be on the watch for it so that people I do care about, don't get hurt. The "mama bear" comes out in me for all people I care about.

So, the question is where do you go when you are in a position of highly suspecting that manipulation is happening, but not in a position of speaking openly about it? How do you handle situations that are so fragile that speaking up will only be turned around on you due to the other parties manipulation tactics? It's such a curious dilemma. I try to bring my kids up to be trustful of people, but also hope that they are not so trustful that they don't realize things are happening around them. I've asked them what they would do if they overheard a conversation about someone that the just didn't believe at all... or was outright told something about someone they didn't believe. Would they question the person doing the talking? would they confront the person that was being talked about? Far too often others just overhear and ignore, or worse yet pass the story on... or maybe even worse yet believe it and have it change their minds about someone without all the real facts.

I haven't always been a big believer of confrontation, but based on my life and things that have happened in it, I'm now a big believer of confronting people. If that can help clear up an misunderstanding, then great. I think most people would say "just get rid of those doing it". But what if you can't? What if you can't for fear the retribution will just bring more manipulation? Maybe that's when you have to start believing in Karma. Either way, why can't people just be honest and upfront about their intentions. Let people know exactly what it is they are trying to get out of their manipulations and put it out on the table. It takes great character for people to be honest. I wish more people had that kind of great character.

Church generalizations and headaches

2010-05-02T17:36:00.002-04:00

Wow, has it really been this long since I've blogged anything. Trust me, it's not for lack of interesting events in my life, rather maybe my lack of blogs are in spite of all that's been going on for me. Best not to discuss some of it. But today, I think this is going to be one of my typical "I just don't get it" pieces.

I attended church today and the normal pastor was away. But not to fear, there was a guest speaker that was very entertaining... more about that later. First, there was a very brief mention of the fact that all the churches all over the country were praying together for God's Kingdom and for leadership in this week of National Prayer Day... which is on Thursday for those that don't know already. National Prayer Day in itself was great to hear mentioned as so much has been made lately of the fact that President Obama was trying to abolish National Prayer Day, which is completely false. But I digress.

My issue was not at all that all churches were praying together as I think that's great. The more the merrier. My concern today was with a specific statement that was made by the pastor (again not the normal one) that "our freedoms are slowing slipping away from us and that we need to all pray that our leaders of the country WILL FIND God and come to him for help". My concern isn't that our leaders would know God and have a relationship with him, but that this pastor assumed that they don't already KNOW or have a relationship with Him. The pastor doesn't know if that's the case, and it's generalizations like that, about many topics, that tick me off so much. Forget the fact that preaching about our freedoms being taken away seems like a move out of the fear play book, but I don't like it when people so simply lump people into categories that they don't even know are remotely accurate. I've been lumped with people that "aren't doing their belief correctly" because I don't like the hypocricy of many supposed Christians I've met and have to deal with in my life, when oddly I think the fact that the notion that I hate the hypocricy and intolerance of so many, means I actually do get and live by what Jesus teachings were all about. Anyway, it's just very disappointing for me to hear these kinds of things, and some times, I just need to rant about it.

On the plus side, once I was annoyed, the guest speaker came up. He was a very FUNNY man... and by funny I mean humorous. The kind of speaker that keeps you engaged and caring what he will say next. However, it was all in how he said it that hurt a little. When I say hurt, it wasn't emotionally, it was physically. He had that TV Evangelist voice, but a bit louder and he spoke so quickly it hurt my head to try to keep up with what he was saying. As a little background on me specifically, I'm a bit OCD as many people know. My brain really has trouble staying engaged in only one thing so typically in church, I need to doodle while the sermon is going on. Most people who see that probably think I'm board and don't care what's being said. It's actually quite the opposite. I doodle because it helps me pay attention to what is being said so much easier because it's not the only thing I'm doing... my mind won't wander if I'm engaged in something else at the same time. But today, the guest speaker talked so fast with so much being said, that I couldn't even doodle as I couldn't concentrate on his first sentence before he was into the 3rd on the topic. And it was amusing me that I couldn't keep up. Even my girls were kind of giggling just listening to him ... but it certainly kept them engaged too. Another particular funny part of it that struck me is that my ex-husband used to always say he couldn't fight with me because he couldn't keep up. I could always think of what I needed to say in about 1/2 of a second and he said he couldn't think of things until the next day to reply to them. That's how I was feeling in church today. So, all in all, I was very entertained. I think the message he was giving was good, but I think I missed every 3rd sentence of it. I'd love to get my hands on a tape of the sermon and see if I could play it in slow motion :)

Life is good...

2010-02-20T18:42:00.003-05:00

I don't think too many people actually have saved the URL to my blog since it posts over to Facebook, and I'm pretty sure that's where people are reading. But just in case, please note that the URL has changed. If you have by chance saved it, or have an RSS feed to it, please be sure to update it. It is now found at http://kimborlea.blogspot.com/

So, I spent the day Friday at the mall with various groups of people. I drove Jennifer and 3 of her friends so they could start "looking" for prom dresses. Lauren had stayed over her friend Nicole's house and Nicole's mom (Lori) drove them to the mall to meet up with us and shop. Lori and I... we just got to hang out together and eat lunch, wait for them to need us (yeah right...) and wait for them to need rides home.

Anyway, I arrived at the mall with my group first and when Lauren showed up with Lori/Nicole, she came right up, gave me a hug and said "you look pretty". Yes... that is my 13 year old I'm talking about. And... first time out shopping, Jennifer did find an absolutely beautiful prom dress, which I saved a significant amount of money on too. Life is good...

How to catch a fly

2010-01-21T08:47:00.003-05:00

I was inspired recently by one of my FB friends. In her blog (Thank you Patty), she had decided to write about "little life lessons". Her first one was about re-filling the toilet paper roll, which I found very funny. But it made me think of this little lesson that I've tried to teach my girls since they were little. However, thinking of it made me realize, it isn't just kids that could benefit from it. It could carry much further than that. There are always people at any age, than can learn from a little life lesson. x

I remember growing up hearing the saying "you can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar". Of course, when I was younger, my only thought around that was why would I want to catch flies anyway. However, it's a phrase now that is easy to figure out. I've mentioned it to my girls in their earlier years, however without the fly part... just in real words that this generation can understand. I've always let them know that their chances of getting me to do what they want or need is always better if they asked nicely. They certainly get that now... maybe too much sometimes. If the real sugar sweet "mommy" voice comes out, my first instinct is "what do you want". But at least at their young ages, they do get the concept.

I've been thinking a lot about this lately and I feel it dove tails a bit to a pet peeve of mine with society today... specifically in schools where we give ribbons and awards for participation so that no one feels left out. Or taking away Valedictorians from schools so those that don't get the honor, don't feel bad. Life is about feeling good and bad sometimes. It's also about how you handle both of those things. You need to learn to win graciously, and loose with dignity (sportsmanship at its finest). But even better than the winning and loosing end points, is what happens in between. While your working towards that goal or win, you need to feel good about what you are trying to accomplish. You need to hear the positive and negative about how you are doing working towards that goal. If all you hear is the negative, what inspires you to work harder? Conversely, if all you hear is the positive, how do you handle the loss if you can't understand why you lost? So there should be a balance in what people are told to manage their expectations. Neither all positive or all negative are good for anyone... it either builds them up too much (example: we have to endure very bad auditions while watching American Idol and the people say their parents told them how great they were their whole life), or we tear them down so much that we are enduring far too many depressed people because they don't believe they have much self-worth. Where is the middle ground for our kids to learn from today? Who's responsibility is it to teach them that middle ground? I believe it doesn't just lay within the parents boundary... it's everyone that has a role in being a leader... in kids, at the work place, everywhere. The point isn't to baby our kids, or co-workers as they need to learn to get along in the real world. The point also isn't to tear them down. The point is to give them real feedback... constructive feedback so that they have real expectations in life. If they have that given to them, they'll pay it forward and give it to future generations.

Or maybe I should just really start using the old fashioned phrase "you can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar" to everyone I come in contact with, and hope it catches on somehow. If we're told the positive along with the negative... it makes us work that much harder on the bigger picture. We must ALL learn that simple lesson. It does work.

Time flies

2009-12-21T12:29:00.002-05:00

I just realized how long it's been since I've written anything that isn't either a comment on FB, or posting pictures of the kids. In realizing that, it makes me realize that the older I get, the faster time goes. Two months have gone by between posts and so much has been happening. I've had cheer competitions and tryouts for a new season, school concerts, holidays to prepare for (which is probably where all my time went), running around for volunteer activities for kids, a few swim meets for Tim's boys, and unfortunately hospital visits and now, my own sickness (which kind of makes it feel like time is standing still right now when I want it to fly by and shake whatever I have).

So, with time getting away from me, I finally sent my Christmas cards out with my girls picture, as well as posting it on FB. Looking at their pictures each year, I get very sentimental. I vividly remember their first Christmas, and every one in between. But, I don't remember them getting this big. They have both turned into very smart, beautiful, talented, insightful young ladies and I couldn't be prouder of them. They are alike in many ways, yet very different in others. They are definitely their own people with their own definitive ideas about things and I love that. With the recognition of their far too rapid growing, and since we are well into the college visiting process for one of them, it reminds me that there are fewer occasions that we will all get to be together as often as we are now. It's a very hard thing to realize, yet an exciting thing as well. You bring children into the world hoping to teach and shape them, and to allow them to experience things and make decisions on their own so they'll know how to handle issues that arise when you aren't with them. Knowing that they'll soon be able to incorporate all that into their own lives, does have an excitement (as well as fear) behind it. But, with time moving as it is, it does appear to all be happening far too quickly for me.

So with Christmas being my favorite holiday of the year, and having ample time off work/school, I'm hopeful that time can just take a break... slow down just a bit. I want the chance to enjoy every moment with my girls, as well as time to enjoy watching them have fun with their family and friends and to transition into the new year. Because even the little things like running them around to be with their friends, are making lasting memories for me by just watching them enjoy their lives. Soon, I'll be wondering why I don't have any of that running around to do... so I'm learning to embrace and love all those little moments, as well as the big ones.

Here's to all of you enjoying your "little moments" of lasting memories as well. Have a great Christmas season.

Take these things when you can get them

2009-10-28T09:15:00.002-04:00

It started out as what would be deemed a typical Tuesday night in my household. I get home from work, think about dinner, and oops... Lauren's practice is canceled and Jennifer has to be run to the store to get last minute additions to her costume for school on Friday. Ok, still it was something different than running all night for drop off/pick up of practices. So the girls start with homework, I cook, we eat, we go to the store, we come home. Typical so far.

What made this night different is that Lauren asked me to practice her band songs with her as there were parts she didn't quite get the rhythm and wanted my help. For those that don't know, she is a flute player as I was, and it's been a VERY long time since she's asked me to help her. In fact, it's been a very long time since I've heard her practice at home with all the playing they get at school. So I head to her room, my flute in tow. She gets out her music and tells me that she just wants me to play it so she can hear how it's supposed to go. So I play the parts she was having trouble with and when I finish she looks at me and says (drumroll please)... "why do you have to be so good?"

For anyone with normal teenage kids, this is something as parents that we rarely get to hear, so we cherish it. It's more typical that parents get looks that ask the questions like "what are you doing, why are you doing it, and please don't ever do that again". So when we get this kind of unexpected praise, even though they probably don't even know they just gave it, we do silly things with it. We blog about it so that we can remember it ever happened in the first place.

I share this not as a statement about kids not giving praise because after all, they are kids. It's a statement about not making a big deal about it to them, but sharing with other parents so that we are all aware these things CAN happen every now and then. So be ready, maybe you're the next one we can hear from about your own "praise" story.

I finished with her and actually got in a good run (and it was mostly running which I really hate). It was a good night.

Cool technology? apparently it depends on your thinking...

2009-10-23T10:54:00.001-04:00

Maybe I'm one of the last ones to see this come through, but as a person that works with technology, I think this is VERY cool. I was so disappointed to read the comments from people about it though. I find it hard to believe that just because... someone CAN interact with a "person" like this, that people automatically go to how bad it will be for people's social lives, and in the extreme, that they'll never need real friends if this becomes popular. Really? Especially for kids given the amount of time they spend in school and doing homework, can't it be looked at as a nice break and something fun. Why do we now always take things to the farthest extreme. Guess these folks haven't heard of Second Life, etc. I enjoy that on occasion, but it certainly hasn't stopped me from interacting with real people at all. So if we take the opposite approach, what if this is actually good for kids that are being bullied and don't really have any friends. Isn't one like this, better than none?

But I realize, I do think differently than a lot of people I know. Oh well... to me... this is still very cool technology.

Keeping up with my kids

2009-10-05T13:42:00.002-04:00

School officially started about a month ago. I can tell because I'm a little more harried, have a lot less money, and am very tired all the time. I thought maybe it was because they were back with all those other germy kids and bringing it home to me. But of late, I'm wondering if it isn't that I'm just tired of running around to "stuff" all the time.

I should have a lot more down time now that school has started. They have enough homework to keep them going at night that I should be able to just rest while they do it all. However, between running to/from cheer practices, games, meetings for all sorts of things school related or college search related, keeping up with the mounds of laundry all week (winter's big clothes vs. summer little clothes isn't helping how many loads I do), lunches, store runs for what is forgotten about until the last minute, etc., I'm really not resting much at all. On top of it, the schools don't seem to care that they've scheduled multiple things on the same night that require me to be in not only 2, but 3 different places in one evening (you'd think being divorced would help with that as you could split up, but not so much sometimes). Last week it was trying to figure out how to be at open house for one of my girls, while getting my other one back home from practice so she could start her homework. Car pooling would have been a really great idea except that all the other moms I knew were at the open house as well. The danger of kids being 3 years apart and in different schools.

However, in 2 weeks, I have the dilemma of 3 events in one night. A "mandatory" parent/student meeting for the upcoming Washington trip that my youngest will be taking. She and I will miss that completely because she also has a Cheer Competition that same night/same time, as well as my oldest being in a concert at her school. Hmmm... which parent goes to which activity? It's always the question, but as my normal readers know... I hate to miss anything my kids do. It's rare that I have to, but there have been occasions where I miss based on logistics and I need to make choices. When making the choice of what to attend, it's really hard because you don't want one child to feel you are favoring the other or the others activities. It would be so nice if sports teams and schools got together with the calendars so the parents didn't have miss anything. I know that's not realistic though as I only have two kids. What about the parents with larger families.

I guess the good news for my kids is that I do suffer over these choices. I know parents that are so engrossed with their own activities for themselves, that the kids activities aren't even a part of their choice... it's just "oh well, I have this other thing to go to so I'll miss it". I recognize that some things are not preventable, but I really don't get that as regular occurence. The moment I had my first child, my life became all about their activities. What I might want to do on a regular/routine basis was completely put on hold. And... I'm ok with that. In my mind that's how it should be. When my kids graduate from High School and are away at college, that's when I can do those things. I'll have all the time in the world to do them and will probably be sitting around wishing I didn't have time again. I'll be missing them so much I'll wish I had to run to practice. But, that's still a ways off for me and for now, I'd rather suffer thru all my choices of what to attend, or be tired from all the running vs. having to miss anything. It's worth it to get to enjoy every minute of still having them with me. It's going by so quickly.

PS... I hope I make the right decisions in two weeks. Or at the very least, have my kids understand the ones I do have to make. Wish I had that time turner watch that Hermione used in HP. Would sure come in handy...

Valuable lessons of the AntiChrist

2009-10-04T12:49:00.002-04:00

Just back from church and as often happens to me when I’m there, I found something in the message that equates to real life in the present time. The study of late has been First John. While not getting into the entire message of the day, the point that struck me was Pastors conversation on Christ vs. the Antichrist. He was making several points in this conversation, but one that struck me was on what he describes as “fearful teaching”. His message is that people should not only be taught Christ’s teachings, but should also be exposed to the Antichrist teachings. The reason being that people should be shown what that is, so they can recognize it when they see it. It seems I finally have validation that what I’ve been doing with my own kids isn’t off base at all.

You see, I’ve known many people that believe their “kids shouldn’t be exposed to ______” (fill in your own blank), shouldn’t date until they are finished with school, etc. However, I’ve never believed that makes much sense. If kids aren’t exposed to certain things, how will they ever deal with them out in the real world when their most important support group is not as close at hand. I wouldn’t want my daughters first dating experience to be in College where their biggest support group on campus is made up of friends they’ve known for maybe a couple months. Those friends won’t know them like I know them. New friends won’t know the look they get when something is wrong, or what thoughts are behind those looks. And my girls may not be comfortable at all talking with them about issues since they are new friends. Heck, maybe they won’t be comfortable talking to me about certain things. But one thing they will know, is that they CAN talk to me no matter what it is, because I’ve opened that door a long time ago with them. I will talk with them like they are mature adults about anything, without judgment because that is not only my job, but also the type of relationship I hoped to be building with them for many years before they are on their own. I should talk to them about drugs and sex and anything else that might come their way BEFORE they are smack in the middle of the temptations of these things. If I shelter them, I am doing them a grave disservice. As they grow older, the conversations will undoubtedly change in content, but I don’t believe it’s too early to start any of that… there are age appropriate ways for everything. The girls have even watched shows that aren’t the most appropriate, but as we’ve found that out together while watching something new, it’s been a good lesson building experience. My oldest daughter asked to leave a movie many years ago because the language was bad (good for her for recognizing that and not wanting to be around it). Would that happen now, now that unfortunately that language is more commonplace to her in a High School, maybe not. But, she won’t use the language herself. So, she’s learned what she doesn’t like and will not take part in. But she’s also learned what she can’t stop others from doing, no matter how much you try or might want to. (As a quick aside, my oldest and me watched Roadhouse last night. I’ve seen it a million times on TV and love it. However, we watched the non-TV version. Oops… I’d forgotten how bad that was with the language and bare parts. I found myself forwarding through some of those for my own purposes… embarrassment mostly… and apologized to her for forgetting the real version was much different than the TV version. You see, I believe that parents should be respectful enough of their kids to apologize to them when they make mistakes too… we aren’t any more perfect than we expect them to be).

Many years ago, my ex-husband and I had a disagreement about the Harry Potter series. He believed the kids should never be exposed to them as they might start to believe in witchcraft. I believed our girls were smarter than that and knew the difference between reality and make believe. Oddly, he was ok with seeing the Lord of the Rings series though, as that had biblical undertones. Had he given HP a try, he would have found the same things, so maybe it was just the witchcraft that disturbed him. After all, in HP, Lord Voldermort was trying his best to rise to power for the sake of power. He was full of hate and wanted nothing more than to be the most powerful and have everyone worship him and only him. All of those things he desired were what caused his downfall to Harry… who was filled with love and the sense of right from wrong and who was always good no matter what evil tempted him. I always believed that if the girls wanted to watch HP, they could. That maybe their dad should watch it with them and then having seen it for himself, be able to have discussions about the movie (another opportunity for teaching moments of our own values).

In the end, my two daughters had a vast difference in their interests in the Harry Potter series. I have one that still won’t watch any of them. My belief still being the indoctrination of her father telling her how evil they were (or maybe that she just doesn’t like to make waves too much). The other has seen every movie (the first of which was her choice at a summer camp full of options. She told me she’d chosen that option after the fact). The thing to note about the one that has watched is that it was very easy for her to tell who was good and who was evil, as well as simply enjoy the movies for the entertainment value that they were. Never once did she ask if she could perform witchcraft. Guess she’s either as smart as I knew my girls would be about it, or that the values we’d already instilled, were in her head as she watched. To Pastor’s point today, she was exposed so that she would be able to tell when evil was around. She’d recognize evil by herself, and she did.

At some point, I believe parents need to trust in what they’ve instilled. I know that there will be times that kids will go against their parents wishes and maybe even against their values, but will we really love them less for it? Or will we still be there to hold their hands and guide them gently back to where we’d like them to be. And even if we can’t guide them back, does that mean we stop being there for them. Of course not. But I firmly believe to do my job well, I need to expose them to all sorts of things with the knowledge and understanding of what it all means from both sides of the perspective, while putting my own values in front of them. That’s my job, and I love my girls enough to do nothing less for them.

I clearly must have heard Newt wrong

2009-08-14T08:23:00.003-04:00

I was flipping news channels this morning, you know, to get all that unbiased news that each channel "thinks" they provide, and Newt was on one of them. I clearly must have heard him wrong because I believe he was actually saying (in regards to the health care bill) that he was in favor of an end-of-life patient being able to bring up with their doctor the notion of ending their life. The point he was making was that it was ok to for that patient to talk to their doctor about it, but it wasn't ok for the government to bring up that conversation for the patient (this is the crazy death-panel notion they are all talking about now). However, none of that is my point, yet again. It's just the catalyst for the blog piece.

Again, my point is the pro-life movement that I think should involve all pro-life situations. It seems this would be one of those situations. If you think no one should play God with abortion, why can they with the death penalty (we all know how I feel about this as I've definitely blogged about that before). But why doesn't this fall into that same (always error on the side of life) issue. Isn't choosing to take your own life (no matter the situation) playing God as well? And if they don't want the government involved in any decision like that, why is that different then the government being involved in the abortion issue? To me, they are all the same. They are life ending choices that the government shouldn't be involved in, period.

Now, for the full disclosure, I'm not saying that I'm not in favor of choosing to end my own life in certain situations... I'm honestly not sure about that... and probably won''t be entirely sure unless I was actually IN one of those situations. I'm certainly not judging those that choose that option. The point is, I'm just still wondering why they don't see that it's all the same idea. Can't be pro-life without being pro ALL life. And yes, I realize I sound like a broken record on this one, but that at least shows my consistency. That isn't to say I don't struggle with all of the three situations, because I do. Personally, I wouldn't have an abortion. There are probably times when even though I'm against the death penalty, I could understand seeking it for someone. And, I can certainly understand wanting to choose to end your life rather than suffering when you know the end is near anyway. So, I get that there are internal struggles around these things even with as strongly as I feel about them. But if you (generically) are really pro-life, it seems that these things should only be internal struggles at certain times. Seems the real "pro-lifers" should be against ALL these things that cause death by playing God.

My real un-Americans rant

2009-08-05T11:20:00.002-04:00

I made a status update last night on Facebook that simply read:

"thanks to President Bill Clinton for getting the job done. Safe travels home for him and the released reporters. Now if only others could get something done."

I had some "thumbs up" on that comment from folks that I know aren't politically aligned with me, and I think that's great. It shows me that there are people that are willing to put politics aside to acknowledge something good that happened, no matter who was involved in making it happen. I know that Bill Clinton didn't do this on his own. This work has been under way for some time now. But he was willing to drop everything and go pick those women up when it was requested that he was the one to do so. He also handled it very well today when he stayed on the plane in order to let it all be about the journalists and the reunion with their families. He came out later, hugged Al Gore, shook hands and talked to the family and then stood in the background while they gave a speech. Al Gore spoke, and it ended. President Clinton didn't even speak. I'm sure he will when he gets asked questions by news folks, but that reunion today, was all about the ladies, as it should have been.

Here comes my rant though. I'm at home working and changing news channels to see the coverage as well as listen to people talk on the radio... (even WBEE this morning). For those of you that are making jokes about Bill (look how far he'd go to pick up women), and those that are turning this into a huge deal about how we are cow-towing to North Korea somehow and pinning that on Obama... grow up. If you can't see how this story is about compassion for the families of these woman, and about getting these woman back where they belong, maybe you are the ones that are the "un-Americans" that you love to bash so much. What happened today is nothing but good, and if you were the families of these woman, I'm sure you'd feel that way too. Of course if all you want to do is bash people, than you'd probably never be able to admit that it was ever good unless you physically went there yourself. Enough already. Get over yourselfs and your narrow vision. Geez... even the lone Republican on the View today (Elizabeth) was capable of praising Bill and Al... and rightfully so. They deserve it. But regardless of that, these woman are home with their families... period. Can't everyone just leave it at that and be happy.

Reporters continue being bashed...

2009-07-30T09:16:00.006-04:00

Ever since the last election, reporters have been blamed for anything and everything. They are not asking any questions, they are asking too many questions, they were being somehow unfair to Palin by asking her questions and talking about her family on one side of politics, while the same side was bashing Hillary and her family. And the same was happening from the other side. This has been an ongoing trend for a while now, but this last year has been as worst as I've seen it. Now, much is being made of this video of Matt Lauer's interview with Michelle Malkin about her new book "Culture of Corruption" on the Today Show. I don't even care what her book is about, the odd part of all this is how folks feel he lost his cool. Maybe I'm just happy when any "journalist" asks questions of an opposing side no matter how strongly they have to ask it in order to get a word in edgewise, but I was ok with him doing it. I'd be ok with any of them on any station doing the same to one of their guests. Or maybe I just have a different view of how "journalists" should do their jobs.

It is my belief that reporters/journalists should always ask questions as if they were the devil's advocate to any topic being discussed. And yes, part of that belief is because I do think there are too many people that only listen to the sound bites of whatever network news they choose to watch. And I also believe that many people don't know enough or care enough to dig any deeper than what they hear, or maybe they aren't even capable of doing so. So, any good journalist should ask opposing questions. Do I believe there are folks on certain stations that would never have interrupted Michelle because they wanted only her side heard by their listeners?... absolutely. I also think that there are stations that would not interrupt someone saying that Obama is all great and all knowing because that's their belief. However, that's not what reports should be doing. They should ask questions on both sides regardless of their personal opinions. That's the only way to get some listeners to think for themselves... something I think is sorely lacking these days by how news stations are providing their version of news.

I certainly get that there are many many people that are strictly partisan, no matter what. Personally, I'm not one of them. I'm not naive enough to believe that even if I vote for someone, or a particular party, that they will always do the right thing, any more than I believe that just because I didn't vote for them, that they will always be wrong. But a lot of people are and will never, given the stations they listen to, be able to even hear another side if journalists don't do their job correctly. They need to go back to the Walter Cronkite days and ask the tough questions regardless of their own opinions or what network they work for. Partisan reporting is like partisan government, and we all know how much work gets done when no one will even attempt to cooperate with the other side. It's been happening for far too many years now. It's like watching 2 year olds play in the sandbox... you just want to scream "why can't we all just get along". Or maybe we could just at least attempt to for the sake of this country that everyone claims to care so much about. Not much will ever get done to get us back on track if all we do is just stick to our own views and never ask the tough questions.

Atheists moral compass

2009-07-27T09:47:00.002-04:00

Last week, I was working from home and not really paying attention to what was on TV in the background. Then something caught my ear. The Tyra Banks show was on. I know, I never sit to actually watch it, but comedian Steve Harvey was on and he has apparently written a book called "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man". He was on promoting it and he was saying a lot of things that you always knew men thought, but didn't really ever say. He was telling women why it is that they weren't getting or keeping men, from a man's perspective. Some of it was very funny, some we women already knew, but he was entertaining. I was actually even laughing at a couple of spots. My oldest daughter was too. But then we just shook our heads at what came next.

They came to a portion of the show where he was giving advice about things that it's okay for women to ask men very early on in their relationships (even after just a couple of dates). 1st was that it's ok to ask them about their short term goals. Ok, fair enough. 2nd to ask about long term goals... even better. But 3rd is what got me out of my chair and very over Steve's advice in general. 3rd was to ask about his faith. It wasn't the question at all that was bothersome as most people want to know that about their partner. But Steve's assertion, so matter of fact, is what frankly angered me. He said in no uncertain terms that if someone says they are Atheist, run as fast as you can because "it means that have no moral compass". That is the most absurd thing I've ever heard. Unfortunately, there are many people that not only believe a statement like that, but perpetuate it. They are happy to spread that nonsense around.

That type of blanket statement bothers me for many reasons. First of all, you cannot categorize any "group" of people so strictly. Are there atheists without a moral compass? Yes, absolutely. But to say that all of them are lacking morals is nonsense. There will always be an extreme end to any group that ruins it for others, but not all people in any group are the same. It's the same as saying that every professed Christian is a good person. We all know that's not the case. If it were, we wouldn't see so many self-professed Christians taking the lives of others, trashing other people because they think they are better than everyone else, or even simply judging others.

Personally, I know many Atheists that have far greater moral values and live them, then a lot of self-professed Christians that are just taking up seats in the pews every Sunday, but forget what it is they are supposed to be learning during the rest of the week.

So, I was quite over Steve Harvey when he made such a ridiculous comment about the topic. All he showed me is that he is an unfortunate soul that has no ability to not only accept people for who they are, but he doesn't seem to even want people to give others a chance to prove their worth. If we all took his advice, we would only ever be with people just like ourselves, or at least those that "claim" to be like us.

For me personally, if I took that advice, I'd have missed out on some pretty great years, and more to come in the future, with the man I love. Yes, Tim is an Athiest. Tim is also one of the best people I know. He is a loving, passionate, hard working, honest, decent person that is very very grounded in moral values and lives them every day. I would trust him with my life, and more importantly, the lives of my children. He doesn't pretend to be anything he is not and he doesn't judge those that don't believe what he does. And, yes, he even likes that I am Christian and that being so is meaningful to me. He never tries to push his Atheism on anyone, including me. In fact, I've had better discussions regarding religion with him than I have with any one.

Maybe Steve Harvey should have spoken to some non-extreme Atheist people before making such a judgmental statement... especially if he's claiming his own Christianity. I don't think that's what Jesus would have done.

Interesting thoughts by Peggy Noonan

2009-07-12T12:59:00.000-04:00

While reading my news feeds this morning, I came across an article that really caught my attention. The full text is really worth the read if you go in with an open mind. A lot of people will think it just a slam on Sarah Palin, but honestly, those parts of the article are not at all what caught my eye. What was interesting is it's an article by a conservative that kind of nails what I was trying to say all during the last primary season and through the general election. Our country is in so much trouble, on so many different fronts, that we should really think more clearly and thoughtfully about what kind of people we think are capable of getting us through it. Peggy is writing this with the Republicans in mind specifically, in the sense that they need to rally together to truly pick the brightest person in their party to win next time around. But I think this is true in either party, and any others that would like to crop up as well.

So, if you're a Sarah fan, you can ignore Peggy's comments about her specifically, or realize that those comments are not what I'm talking about today. But for the bottom line thoughts that each party should really think about for their futures, it's worth the read.

Thoughts that should matter...

2009-07-12T12:38:00.005-04:00

A sad 24 hours...

2009-06-25T22:04:00.002-04:00

By now everyone has heard the news of those that left us in the last 24 hours. We've listened to news, read many many peoples' facebook posts (mine included) and blogged about it. All that are old enough to remember them, at least feel that there is a sense of loss for three people that were pretty special in their day, and into today.

I heard about Farrah from my sister's FB comment. We all expected that to be sooner vs. later, as we at least knew she'd taken a turn for the worse, even after her documentary aired last month. She only stayed on Charlie's Angles for 1 season, but that was enough to get her into the hearts of millions... that and the poster that every boy over the age of 12 had in the 70s. However, as good as she was playing the part she was hired to play for that series, she was never better than in the movie The Burning Bed. I didn't think she'd ever have it in her for a part like that, but she played that brilliantly.

Ed McMahon will likely be the lesser known to a lot of people today, but with as funny as Johnny Carson was, I enjoyed the parts of his show that had Ed in them. The two of them were great together.

Michael Jackson is just a huge loss though. I know he got fairly strange later in life, but it is still amazing how great he was and how great of an impact he made in the music world from such a young age. I loved him singing when he was very little all the way up to when he stopped making music. The most unfortunate thing is that his behavior in the latter part of his life will overshadow that brilliance to many of the younger crowd that didn't know him before his unfortunate change. I only wish they would have had a chance to know more than just that side to realize what a loss it is for him to have died too. My nephew said it best on his FB update tonight when he commented the following...

"farrah fawsett and micheal jackson...same day! if you call yourself a man or a music lover,today is a sad day."

I couldn't have said it better Brian... thanks for the right words. Brian is way younger than I am, but he gets it.

It would be really nice to see these people honored for what they accomplished and maybe not picked apart so much now that they're no longer with us.

May they all rest in peace....

Happy Fathers Day Dad

2009-06-21T19:20:00.002-04:00

I almost made it through my first Fathers Day in 9 years without tears. But then Tim mentioned my Dad to me, and well, so much for that. Now don't get me wrong, no tears certainly didn't mean he wasn't thought of. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of him in one context or another. I said my Happy Father's Day to him last night when I got in bed, and again first thing this morning. But this year, I did that small task without the tears. Maybe that's a good sign, or maybe the every day thoughts have started removing just a small piece of sadness.

You see, the every day thoughts are no longer about the same types of things. They aren't always consumed with thoughts of wishing he were here to see the girls do this or that, or knowing how proud he'd be of them for everything they do, or worrying that my girls didn't get enough time with him so that they'd remember him the way I do, or wondering how he thought I was doing as a mother. They also aren't around worrying about his illness. I no longer linger on those things quite as much as I used to. I believe that he knows how well they've turned out and yes, how proud he'd be. That is never a question in my mind any more. I'm relieved that he no longer has pain in his life every day. So for those things, maybe I have been able to move on. It's not that I never think those thoughts at all, but I don't think of them as often as I used to.

Now, I think of Dad in the every day things like what's happening in the news and what he'd say about situations when we'd watch together. I think about him and reminisce every time I watched a Celtics game this year (although they could have used his help a bit more during the playoffs). Maybe he was too busy in heaven arguing with Aunt Betty and Uncle Bud about the Eagles vs. the Bills to remember it was Basketball season. I think of him when my kids tell stories because they tell them just like he did... with excruciating detail that we really didn't need to know (:-) But, when I think of those kinds of things now, it's with smiles and not tears. The memories of happy times vs. sad times have started to play out more. Maybe I'm slow, but nine years later, it's comforting to know that when he enters my thoughts, the tears are more happy than sad. He was the greatest... so once again Happy Fathers Day to the BEST DAD EVER!!!!!

Jon Stewart/Mike Huckabee interview

2009-06-19T12:23:00.002-04:00

I watched the Daily Show last night and Mike Huckabee was the guest. For full disclosure, I like Mike. I would love to get a bite to eat with him and chat, but never believed he was a viable Presidential candidate... but that doesn't play into this. My point isn't even about him specifically. But the topic he chose to talk about last night which was Pro-Life, which immediately went to Abortion. And that is the point of this post. Why when people speak of pro-life, does it only apply to abortion? I know I've mentioned this before in my posts, but watching the interview on line to see all parts of it, brought it back into my mind yet again. For all three parts of the interview, go here

During the interview, I found myself wanting Jon to ask my question. There were many opportunities for it to be the "next question". Mike was explaining how every life no matter what is valuable... that no one can say one life is better than another, etc. And I completely agree with that. However, it's at that point in every one of these interviews with pro-life people, that I want the interviewer to ask what their views are about the death penalty. And yet... no one ever goes there. Why is that? In fact, my daughter was watching with me who is extremely Christian in her values and she doesn't get why no one asks either.

I want pro-life folks (and yes I mean the extreme pro-lifers that try to ruin otherwise intelligent conversations on the topic) to explain to me if they are so pro-life, why are the majority of them also so pro-death penalty. The more extreme they are on the pro-life agenda for abortion, the more extreme they seem to be on being pro-death penalty and that just doesn't add up to me. If every life is really that important and no one should be able to determine one has more value than another, how can they then do that very same thing when it comes to putting someone to death. It's a bit of a contradiction that they won't ever own up to.

Jon Stewart did an excellent job of explaining how difficult this topic is for people and that he believes that more people need to learn to come together to understand each side. That pro-choice people are NOT pro-abortion and don't even necessarily like the notion of abortion at all. It's more that they don't like the notion of a government taking away their rights to their own bodies. He is a father that happens to be for life, but a person that is for choice. I completely get that. I completely believe that no one will ever change someones mind on this subject at all. You can firmly stand on the choice or no-choice side, but that doesn't mean that you are pro-abortion. However I think if you claim to stand on the absolute side of pro-life, you MUST stand on it completely or be labeled a hypocrite if you are also pro-death penalty.

If you can't separate those two things, then stop touting the pro-life label and maybe change it to strictly pro-fetus.

Another disclaimer... I would never have an abortion myself... don't believe in it personally, but yes, I do feel that should be my decision, not the governments. I will answer to my decisions at a later point, and to someone much more important than anyone in my government.

This is the sweetest thing ever. Have to watch to the end...

2009-06-13T09:06:00.000-04:00

Another proud moment...

2009-04-16T18:54:00.003-04:00

Earlier this week, I wrote a proud mama blog about my youngest. This one is about my oldest. Check out this picture she brought home today. She drew this in art class with charcoal. She has quite a talent (and no, she didn't get this from me... everyone else in my family maybe, but me... no).

Proud mamma...

2009-04-14T21:15:00.002-04:00

I've been told recently, by more than Tim, that I don't write often enough in my blog. So, what better reason to write than to brag about my kids. Both girls give me good reason to brag often, but tonight this ones about my youngest. I just returned from a COW (Celebration of Writing) night at her school. There were a dozen kids chosen from all the ELA classes in her grade to read aloud at the celebration, the poem or childrens' book that they wrote for class. She wrote and illustrated a childrens' book called "Who Are They From", about a boy looking for something to do one day and goes outside to find a present for him with clues to find more presents. The mystery is who they are from and what they are leading him too. Even though she claimed to be nervous, she didn't appear to be when it came her time to read her book to the audience. She stood there at the microphone and projected perfectly... great intonation and enthusiasm. She did a great job on the book and the presentation, and I am quite proud of her.

In all, there were 4 books chosen to be read and about 8 poems. The rest of the kids writings were on display after the presentation for our viewing pleasure. The best part about the books is that they were written for a purpose. All of the childrens books will be going to Uganda Africa for the children there that leave their villages every night to walk 6 miles to another town to sleep, as their villages aren't safe at night. The books will be kept in the town they go to, for bedtime reading or classes. Each morning, the kids walk back to their villages to be with the rest of their family. Most of the mothers of these children are HIV positive, as well as some of the kids themselves. So, knowing that our kids put as much work into this as they did to help out those in Uganda, made the night that much more special. They do a lot of good deeds in her school, so not only am I proud of her for the work she did, but also of her school for continuously looking for opportunities like this, and engaging our kids in them. Kudos to the teachers for caring so much for others.

When will she ever learn

2009-03-26T19:28:00.002-04:00

I can't possibly be the only one that thinks Gov. Palin should stop talking. She needs to learn to leave well enough alone. Throughout the entire campaign, she touted the Christian values, yet last week, she had an open discussion that just about trashed anyone she could think of from her own campaign. The most ludicrous was that prior to the VP campaign she was looking around for someone to pray with and there wasn't one person on the McCain campaign that she wanted to pray with... so she prayed with her youngest daughter piper. Here is her quote:

"So I'm looking around for somebody to pray with, I just need maybe a little help, maybe a little extra," she said of the moments before the debate. "And the McCain campaign, love 'em, you know, they're a lot of people around me, but nobody I could find that I wanted to hold hands with and pray."

As a Christian, aren't we supposed to pray with and for our fellow man. If she couldn't find anyone "worthy" of praying with, then maybe she should have been praying FOR them instead of maligning them. Shame on her! Please don't just talk the talk...

Dobson out...

2009-03-01T08:59:00.001-05:00

While reading my news today, I ran across the article that explains that Dr. James Dobson, of Focus on the Family is stepping down his board position. He will remain the spokesman for his causes, but no longer remain on the board. Now, that's not really news to most of the world, and not my point at all in publishing this non news. But in the comments section of the article, there was one that I must share... as I couldn't have said it better myself. About Dobson specifically, as well as about all who go to extremes on anything. It follows:
_______________________________

Once a LONG time ago, I once admired Jim Dobson. His advice on raising children was sage.

BUT…… something happened to James Dobson, he went OFF the DEEP END of EXTREMISM. Whenever people become EXTREMISTS, whether they'd be from the LEFT OR RIGHT….. you become irrelevant! You become "noise" ….. and in some cases, like in Dobson's …. hateful. Any extreme view denies the possibility of MIDDLE GROUND. For life is not …… always black & white!

Sadly, Dobson became a hater, while STILL claiming to be Christian! As a Christian, who knows well what JESUS asked of us, I am disturbed by Dobson's rhetoric, his hate for anyone who is different from him.

DR. DOBSON, I HOPE THAT YOU WILL FIND PEACE……. THAT YOU WILL REMEMBER IN YOUR OLD AGE, THAT WE HAVE A ………LOVING GOD…… WHO ASKS US ALL TO LOVE ……….. AND LEAVE THE JUDGING UP TO ….HIM!

What am I missing...

2009-02-06T10:11:00.002-05:00

I did it again yesterday. I turned on am talk radio and there is good and bad news. The good news is that Rush Limbaugh wasn't on his own show, so I didn't have to endure him. The bad news is that the show was still on with a replacement. Of course, the topic was the limit that President Obama wants to put on Executives pay for companies taking bailout monies. And, of course, that was leading to socialism (isn't everything in their opinion lately). What I don't understand is how they keep changing their opinions to make it seem like they agree with everyone that calls in, regardless of what side they are on. The prevailing opinion yesterday is that we cannot dictate what the private sector does and how they run their companies. That will be the complete decline of our country. What they keep forgetting to say (so that their avid listeners will stay on their side) is that the proposal is ONLY for companies requesting government aide... NOT every private sector company. How does that make government involved in all private sector companies and make it a complete government run country.

To the talk shows credit, they actually did allow one caller through that was trying desperately to make this point. But... a "good" talk show radio host knows when this is coming. And since they never want their listeners to actually hear that they are missing the point, he quickly said "sorry, we have to go to break". Click. Ahh. Free speech at it's greatest.

If these companies have been run so poorly that they go to the government for help, they SHOULD have to accept the governments terms for the money. However, if they don't want to accept those terms, run your companies better and you won't need their help in the first place. Having said that, I know there are ligitimate companies that are in trouble now just due to the economy. But I'll go out on a limb here and guess that those are not the companies that will complain about following the rules if they want the help. Maybe these talk show hosts are just afraid they will get their multi-million dollar contracts taken away in this bad economy. If that were to happen, all hell would break loose. People would actually have to form their own opinions rather than just regurgitate what Rush tells them to think. Heavens... we can't have that.

Things that make you go hmmm...

2009-02-06T08:35:00.002-05:00

Here is insight to why it is that the rich people weren't really the ones that were complaining when the then Presidential Nominee Obama talked of raising taxes on those making more than $250K a year. I didn't hear much complaining from the rich Hollywood types or the huge business earners. The complaining was from all the politicians that said it was socialism. Well, this article proves that some of those people would actually still go for paying more taxes on what they make. Having said that, it does sound like this particular executive may be way more selfless than others. But, I like the idea anyway.

What he said...

2009-02-06T08:29:00.001-05:00

While I don't agree with all the spending items listed in the proposed Stimulus Bill, I do agree we need to get moving, and quickly. So no further editorializing necessary on this article. Stop getting in the way and start doing something about the economy. Enough said...

Twilight view (from the mom perspective)

2009-02-04T13:07:00.002-05:00

The following is a comment I made to another blog article on Twilight. The original blog was questioning why (or what) the evangelical crowd thinks of the new Twilight book series... since they had such issues with Harry Potter. As a Christian, I don't have a problem with either series from that perspective, as I realize it's all fiction and don't believe my kids think otherwise. However, I also find it interesting that I haven't heard much from them about this. Here was my response to the other blog.
.....

It's taken me a while to respond to this, mostly because I wanted to see if I could find out anything about the evangelical point of view. I tried looking on line and haven't found much either except for the fact that some of them are trying to say it's good because it somehow teaches good points of Christianity and how they feel about demons, etc. I don't see that at all. But those are the same ones that claimed Lord of the Rings had great Christian sub-stories at the same time as Harry Potter was just pure evil.

I asked my oldest if she'd heard anything in church or anything from other kids her age and nope... she hasn't. She also doesn't understand why HP was so bad... but also has refused to read or watch that series, mostly because of the hype at this point.

Having said all that, I don't have any trouble with the books based on any Christian beliefs because I'm quite capable of differentiating something that is just entertainment from thinking my kids will start studying witchcraft (in the HP sense) or determining that there are real vampires or wearwolfs (in the Twilight sense). However, I have had conversations about this new series of books with my girls for different reasons.

As a mother of girls, I have real issues with the way that Bella is portrayed with her "obsession" with Edward. It's not a healthy relationship from the perspective of Bella at all for teenage girls. She is so completely obsessed that she spirals into the deepest depression ever when he leaves (for her own safety). While in that deep depression, she then clings to Jacob as a friend, but just as hard as she did to Edward. All the time she's obsessed with either of these boys, she has no other life at all. She does nothing with other friends, etc. When with Edward all she's thinking of is how to get him to have sex with her or when it is she can end her life to be with him (her first boyfriend) for all eternity as a vampire. Blah Blah. The whole storyline is about what she'll do to have him, what she'll give up to have him, how she'd die if he weren't around, how much trouble and near death experience she puts up with just to be near him. And all of that stems from how poor a view she has of herself and how she never feels worthy to even be in his presence. What is that all about for young girls to hear. Crazy.

They are entertaining and quick easy reading like HP, but the sub-context of "he is all that will ever matter in my life and I'd die without him and die to be with him" is NOT a good lesson for the age girls that are reading these books. As I said to my ex-husband when he had issues with the HP books... "it's a parents job to understand what they are reading and talk to them about your own views if you think they're not smart enough to realize this is fiction". I hope more parents, of girls especially, are talking to their girls about these books as well. Not a healthy look at a first relationship at all... in my opinion. Hopefully parents are paying attention and speaking to their girls. I know I am.

And... yes... I'm on the 4th book myself and only started reading them about 3 weeks ago. After reading the first one, knowing my girls had read them all (or in the process of doing so) I really need to know how far it all goes. But, we've already spoken about my view of how Bella is portrayed in the relationship department.

It's about time...

2009-01-19T15:30:00.002-05:00

Better late than never I guess, but President Bush finally did the right thing on his very last day by commuting the 2 border agents sentences. Unfortunately, the criminal record stands, but at least they can be home now where they should have been all along.

It just never ends

2009-01-07T09:55:00.003-05:00

The big news today on CNN, with everything else going on, is that Levi Johnston "had" to quit his job. That in itself is not news at all. But what's behind it may be.

First off, I had not heard that folks were complaining about him having the job as apprentice since he did not have the proper educational requirements. However, if that is one of the rules, than he shouldn't have had the job to begin with. The fact that his educational requirements somehow just slipped thru the cracks is doubtful. The point might just be... how then did he acquire the job in the first place. Could it have been that since he was going to marry Gov. Palin's daughter Bristol, that maybe she had a hand in getting that job for him? I'm sure that is part of it. So, then is it right for her to complain that this is a "political potshot" at her? That's crazy... unless she's somehow guilty of his educational requirements slipping through those cracks. If she was going to pull strings for him, maybe she should have insisted he get his diploma and then pulled those strings so it could not be scrutinized so much.

The most laughable quote of the article is from Levi's father when he states that "He's being treated different than an average 18-year-old kid. He has to do everything by the book now." Now? Does that imply that he didn't before, or that it's going to be so hard for him to be by the book now that he's in the spotlight.

I said during the campaign that the kids should be left out of this. But again, it appears that Gov. Palin still has a hand in keeping them in the spotlight. Does she believe that all this stuff really just makes her look like all the everyday Americans out there. Maybe she's still counting on that for another election. However, if she did get that job for him knowing that he didn't have the qualifications, did she really think no one would find out. Again, it screams of how much she thinks she can just do what she wants and get away with it. When she doesn't get away with it and anyone questions her, she screams at the press for bringing it up.

Then again, maybe she's just completely innocent of everything and the world is really just against her for reasons unknown to her. Hmmmm...

Can you believe I agree with Newt

2008-12-16T16:35:00.002-05:00

It may be one of the most unbelieveable statements I've made in a long time, but "I agree with Newt Gingrich" when he tells the RNC to take down their latest video.

When will the republican party stop the pure witch hunts. We had 8 years of it with the Clintons' for every single thing they did or said. Are we destined for it again for another 4 or 8 years? It's things like this that have destroyed their party. It's become the party that cried wolf. If the RNC ever wants to go after Obama for anything real, no one will believe them. It's a hunt before he ever takes office. I was so hoping this wouldn't happen again.

You'd think that by now, especially after the last election, the Republican brass would realize that the American people have minds of their own. If Obama had done anything illegal with the Governor, the tapes wouldn't have had Gov. Blagojevich slamming Obama... he'd be praising him.

I was sure when Senator McCain slammed the party for trying to tie Obama to Blagojevich, they'd dismiss him as irrelevant to the party and not care what he had to say. But now that Newt has chimed in too, and hopefully others will as well, maybe they'll wake up before it's way too late for their party to get back into the game. OTOH... maybe I should just let them self-destruct.

What you can say on the way out

2008-12-11T06:57:00.002-05:00

It's amazing what a president can say on the way out of office, that would have made him loose if he'd said it while running. Apparently, President Bush really doesn't have to worry about the Christian Evangelical base any longer. And boy, they aren't very happy either.

Much ado about several things

2008-11-18T08:37:00.004-05:00

We've all been hearing far too much about what President Bush might do in his last remaining days in office. He appears to be cooperating nicely with President Elect Obama, which while it surprises me a bit, makes me a little nervous too. I'm sure he's worried about his legacy and since there is not much else that's very good in it, maybe he'll slip under the radar if he appears to be playing nice.

However, there is the notion of how many folks (and who they are) that he'll be pardoning on his way out of town. That in itself isn't new, President Clinton had his fair share of pardons as he departed as well. But there is also the notion of what type of legislation he's going to enact on his way out. He did give a deadline for all new requests that has since past, but that isn't stopping this one new rule that he would like to see enacted. The rule is to protect health providers from having to perform abortions, be in any way related to those performing abortions, be involved in dispensing contraceptives, etc. if it is against their religious or moral beliefs.

The argument is that this is already covered and these folks are already protected under the equal employment rules. If they try to take this further, it will be very difficult for woman to get the services they might need (and I don't just mean abortion) if every place they try to go someone is screaming it's against their beliefs to service them. There are lots of things in everyone's jobs that they don't like to do, but we do get paid for what we were hired for. I would believe that if anyone has a huge objection, they've probably already worked that out, and are already protected. So the question is... why is this new rule important enough for Bush to care about now? My guess is that he has to further his agenda to squash the rights of women before he leaves because we have an incoming President who appears to actually care about our rights, even if he himself doesn't have the same beliefs about them. That's what we need in office. I'm glad there is only 64 days left.

Ladies weekend

2008-11-11T12:43:00.002-05:00

I spent this past weekend with 4 other ladies in Albany. They were friends from High School 26 years ago. We talked and laughed and shopped and laughed and drank and laughed and ate and laughed (you get the idea). So much has changed in everyones lives since then. But one thing hasn't changed... we can obviously just pick up with the same conversation and laughter that was always there no matter what we were going through.

It also amazed me how a couple of them have still kept up with so much of the comings/goings of our other classmates. I think they know where most everyone is and what they've been up to all these years, with one exception. None of us can still seem to locate Todd. But we all agree we really want to know what's happened to him. He was one of my really fun friends in class. In fact, my girls have even heard stories about him. Maybe by our next large class reunion, we'll track him down.

Even though you plan these things so that you can spend a lot of time catching up with everyone that doesn't live close by, it's hard to not spend much of the time talking about what we all did "back then". It seems like it was all so long ago. We as a group have made it through (and are still going thru) so much... marriages, divorces, kids, infertility, cancer, parents dying, kids having brain tumors, partners having brain tumors... the list goes on. But in all that we went thru as a group... the best part is that we did it as a group. We all had the other four to lean on thru our issues in varying degress. It makes it all so much easier to know that you still have people that know "way too much" about you, to help ease the pain and share the laughter through the good and bad times. I love them all and am so happy they are still in my life. I hope this trip truly does turn out to be an annual thing. If nothing else, it's great stomach exercise to laugh that much (:-)

Thanks ladies... it was a great weekend.

This one's for Tyler...

2008-11-07T09:52:00.004-05:00

It's over

2008-11-04T23:35:00.002-05:00

I couldn't be prouder tonight. In my opinion, the right team won, and won big. No team will ever be perfect, and they've been left with an enormous mess to clean up. My hope is that everyone will now stop being so divided and rally as a country to get us all back on track. So, pray hard for guidance and courage for President Obama and VP Biden, and patience for all of us.

from freshman to jv... for my sake

2008-11-02T17:41:00.004-05:00

Gone are the days of the junior cheer teams for my daughter as she is now on Freshman. However, she (we) had to work at a junior cheer competition this morning and they apparently hand out the jobs based on what team you are on. Freshman (or I should say Freshman parents) "get to" run concessions. So, I did my part and worked the stand for 3 hours. The ladies I worked with were very nice and everyone that came in was very nice, polite, patient, etc. I was in charge of money. How hard can that be, right?

Despite the fact that there were things on the menu that ended in 50 cents, no one really thought of getting quarters for the money box. So, being moms, several of them were able to dig many dollars worth out of their own purses to help out. All went very smoothly with the exception of the fact that you should never put someone with OCD in charge of the money box at a function like this. It's really unbelievable to me how some people keep their money. It was given to me by adults in the smallest wrinkled up balls of bills you could imagine. Others were throwing money into the box in every which way you could think of. For someone like me, that was a disaster. Money is supposed to not only be sorted by amount, but also must all be facing the same direction. One of my girls completely understands this as her wallet looks like mine and stacked as I stated above. The other one... not so much. But all in time. So, my biggest thought when I left was... will my daughter please be on the JV team next year, so my volunteer position will not cause me so much concern.

BTW... when I left. All money was separated by value, faced forward and standing up-right. Ahhh. I felt better.

the last bit of integrity gone...

2008-11-02T16:56:00.003-05:00

In the past...

"Sen. John McCain repeatedly said he does not believe Obama's relationship to Wright should be an issue -- to the ire of some Republicans who feel it raises questions about the Illinois senator's judgment."

Today...

I guess that very last bit of integrity is gone based on this article. Apparently, when the last minute surprise didn't work, McCain will just go back on this issue to see if it will help him win the election. Enough already. We've beaten this one to death during the primaries. Not to just defend Obama, but I've sat in churches where I haven't agreed with what a pastor is saying. I would be ashamed of the rest of the parisheners if they did agree. But, I don't think I'd condemn all of them and claim they are just like him for continuing to sit there. (For full disclosure, I've also gotten up during a service and left based on the things that were being said by pastors).

Now, maybe McCain will come out and "repudiate" the PA GOPs behavior for putting this out, as he says he's "repudiated" all the terrible outcries at his rallies (by the way he hasn't done that either). But, somehow it won't matter if he does. It will be a little late as the ad is out, and he knows that. He may say it's bad, but he'll love that it's been done.

I will stand by what I've said in the past. I'll pray for whomever wins so that they can lead us through all the wrongs that have been done in the last 8 years, but boy... I'll also pray it isn't someone as hypocritical as McCain/Palin seem to be. I don't think, as a nation, that we can handle 4 years of this.

Is this the October surprise...really?

2008-11-01T10:54:00.007-04:00

There is a story that started circulating yesterday stating that Obama's Kenyan Aunt is in the U.S. illegally. It states that she should have been deported 4 years ago and is still here living in public housing. My question is this...

Is this the best that the Republicans can come up with as their October surprise. If she is here illegally, can't the republicans handle it as they want to handle all of the illegals here... let them stay and have a path to citizenship? Or... do they just want to handle her differently simply because she's Obama's Aunt and the election is in a couple of days?

The other note worthy portion of this story is that this is the Aunt of Obama's father that he met once for a month when he was 10 years old. Did he even know she was here? Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. We don't really know much of anything yet, including whether or not it is really even the Aunt that he's spoke about in his book. All we do know is that it is now... 4 years later... finally a story. That's kind of convenient.

If it does turn out that she is his Aunt, it's a legislative issue, not a criminal one. But if McCain wins on Tuesday, maybe Obama can just pay that fine for her and help her with that path to citizenship that McCain supports. Then, all will be settled.

Oh boy... only 3 more days. I can't wait until this is over. Oh yeah... the other big story is will Biden and McCain still be friends after all the lies and smears are over. My suggestion to Mr. Biden... no matter who wins, realize that the way McCain has treated you, he was NEVER really your friend. His campaign has proven that.

I’m trying...

2008-10-23T23:26:00.001-04:00

I was just having lunch with Tim and saying that I've been listening to a lot of people talk about how John McCain never really answers questions in interviews. So I decided that maybe I should see for myself if that's still true (I had stopped watching so much lately). I know that he does his same old stump speech all the time... not much new in there... but what about in interviews where he can be asked pointed questions. So, I watched two McCain interviews last night. The one he did on CNN and the one with Brian Williams. In both of those interviews, when asked a question, he never answered it. He simply reiterated the question and then quickly turned the question to how he could slam Obama on the topic. But never answered the questions at all. I even watched Wolf Blitzer throw his hands up in surrender when he tried for the 4th or 5th time to get him to answer a question on his belief that we should have privatized social security. Wolf kept trying and McCain kept ducking. It was a lost cause for all of us.

However, the one thing he keeps going back to is how experienced he is and how that relates to his favorite line in stump speeches and interviews... "I know how to get Bin Ladin, I know. I know how to fix the economy... I know how to fix Medicaid and Medicare. I know and I'll do it".

Well Mr. McCain, if I was your interviewer, here is how I'd follow up to that well rehearsed line...

"if you know how to do all this stuff, why aren't you sharing that information? If you truly are putting country first, why wouldn't you use that information to help people now... be safe, be secure, etc. If you shared that information and it was helpful and worked, wouldn't that make you look good and you could win this election? If you know... why are you sitting on that information if it could truly help this country you love so much?"

My guess is it's because he doesn't know at all. It's just a stump speech line to win voters... and we all know it (with the exception of him and his running mate). We aren't that stupid. At least some of us aren't.

Interesting...

2008-10-22T19:09:00.000-04:00

Interesting...

If Sarah Palin really believes this, what will she think if God doesn't come thru for her on November 4th. Will that shake her faith in God? because I'm not sure she could ever admit that the people didn't want her or that Obama/Biden are what God really wanted. Hmmmm..

FINDLAY, Ohio (CNN) –- In an interview posted online Wednesday, Sarah Palin told Dr. James Dobson of "Focus on the Family" that she is confident God will do "the right thing for America" on Nov. 4.

Dobson asked the vice presidential hopeful if she is concerned about John McCain's sagging poll numbers, but Palin stressed that she was "not discouraged at all."

"To me, it motivates us, makes us work that much harder," she told the influential Christian leader, whose radio show reaches millions of listeners daily. "And it also strengthens my faith because I know at the end of the day putting this in God's hands, the right thing for America will be done, at the end of the day on Nov. 4."

Dobson praised Palin's opposition to abortion rights, to which the governor affirmed that she is "hardcore pro-life."

She said giving birth to her son Trig, who has Down syndrome, has given her the opportunity "to be walking the walk and not just talking the talk" in her long-standing opposition to abortion.

Dobson — who has never been warm to McCain — asked Palin if her "private conversations" with the GOP nominee had revealed a true commitment to the Republican party's pro-life platform, which calls for a constitutional amendment banning abortions.

"I do, from the bottom of my heart," Palin assured Dobson. "John McCain is solidly there on those solid planks in our platform that build the right agenda for America."

She also thanked her supporters — including Dobson, who said he and his wife were asking "for God's intervention" on election day — for their prayers of support.

"It is that intercession that is so needed," she said. "And so greatly appreciated. And I can feel it too, Dr. Dobson. I can feel the power of prayer, and that strength that is provided through our prayer warriors across this nation. And I so appreciate it."

The interview was taped on Monday by phone while Palin was campaigning in Colorado Springs, where "Focus on the Family" is headquartered.

a non-political blog

2008-10-20T00:59:00.001-04:00

I've been so disgusted since the last blog I wrote, that I'm no longer really paying any attention to the election. I won't be changing my mind about my vote at this point, so watching one side just come up with more hate to spew rather than talking about issues is a waste of my time. I'll be anxious for this election to be over. As I said before, I'll be praying for whomever wins, but if America really chooses wrongly, they'll only have themselves to blame for "nothing" when that's what they get.

So... This is a much more interesting subject. My little one is a cheerleader. Has been for several years now on a Jr. team. She now cheers for the Freshman team and they had two competitions this week. Her team took 1st place in both of them. So, this season is off to a great start just as her past years cheering were. She's been on winning teams now for a long time. It should be old hat for her, but to watch how nervous and excited she gets during the awards ceremonies, you'd never know she'd even been to a competition before. It's fun to see her like that. It reminds me of the days when I used to march in Winter Color Guard. The feeling of doing so well and being rewarded for it was incredible. For me, watching her is almost like being back in those days myself. The thrill of the competition was always a good one. I'm glad to see she's enjoying it as much as I always did. Mom is very proud...

And both my girls play instruments, which I did also. And they are both quite good at them. We are way since past the "twinkle twinkle little star" songs and on to music that is very engaging. I think part of the thrill for parents watching all these events, is that it brings us back to our youth... if only in our minds. At this point in my life, just in my mind is good enough. And, it's all my older self can handle (:-)

the most unbelievable...

2008-10-17T00:23:00.000-04:00

the most unbelievable...

And this after McCain claimed in last nights debate to have not liked how negative the campaign has gone in the last two weeks. He is truely unbeliveable. And, I believe his exact words were "I don't care about a washed up old terrorist". Guess he was lying when he said that too. He apparently still cares a great deal. One can only hope that this is the last straw for many people and he goes down in flames in the election just to show him how low he's really gone.

WASHINGTON (CNN) — Republicans launched an enormous wave of phone calls Thursday blasting Barack Obama for "having worked closely with domestic terrorist Bill Ayers," party sources said.

The calls are part of a $70 million last Republican push to get out the vote for John McCain on November 4, using calls, mailings and door-knocking in battleground states.

"Hundreds of thousands" of calls are being made in at least half a dozen hard-fought states including Virginia, North Carolina and Ohio, the sources said.

Some are recorded "robocalls," while others are live to comply with relevant state laws. The calls are being paid for jointly by the Republican party and the McCain campaign, according to a script provided by the Republican party.

The "robocalls" criticize Obama national security, his opposition to an Illinois measure that called for doctors to provide medical care to babies who survive botched abortions, his connection with former '60s radical William Ayers and his response to the financial crisis.

An Obama spokesman said the "dishonorable, dishonest" calls were a desperate move.

"John McCain's campaign has admitted that the economy is a losing issue for them, so he's chosen to launch dishonorable and dishonest attacks like this," Obama national spokesman Bill Burton said.

The calls come a day after McCain and Obama accused each other of running negative campaigns.

Republicans have been hammering Obama for weeks for his association with Ayers, a key figure in the Weather Underground of the Vietnam War era. The radical group took credit for a number of bombings, including of the Pentagon. A case against Ayers was thrown out of court because of misconduct by investigators. He is now an education professor in Chicago and has served on a board with Obama.

McCain said he did not care about "an old washed-up terrorist" like Ayers Wednesday night at his debate with Obama.

Obama condemned Ayers' actions of 40 years ago, and said the former radical was not involved in his campaign and would not advise him as president.

(Script of the call after the jump)

Here is the text of the call referring to Ayers:

"Hello. I'm calling for John McCain and the RNC (Republican National Committee) because you need to know that Barack Obama has worked closely with domestic terrorist Bill Ayres, whose organization bombed the U.S. Capitol, the Pentagon, a judge's home and killed Americans. And Democrats will enact an extreme leftist agenda if they take control of Washington. Barack Obama and his Democratic allies lack the judgment to lead our country. This call was paid for by McCain-Palin 2008 and the Republican National Committee at 202-863-8500."

The only deaths positively attributed to Weathermen bombs were three members of the group itself who were killed when a bomb they were working on exploded prematurely. The Weathermen, along with the Black Panther organization, were investigated for another bombing that killed a San Francisco police officer, but that bombing remains unsolved.

The son of a New York State supreme court justice says that the Weathermen were also responsible for a bomb at his father's home in February 1970, basing his claim on a letter from Weather Underground member Bernadine Dohrn (Ayers' wife) sent to the Associated Press in November promising more bombings. Investigators, however, believe that letter was referring to the bombing of a New York courthouse in October.

The Weathermen claimed responsibility for the courthouse bombing, as they did other bombings attributed to them. No one claimed responsibility for the bombing of the judge's home, and the the case was never solved.

selective listening from the "angry american"

2008-10-16T20:22:00.000-04:00

Well... luckily the final debate is over. I can say it was the most spirited of all of them... if spirited means attacking and having selective listening.

I found it very telling that at least 6 times I counted McCain refering to things Obama had "just said"... which he didn't just say at all. It's not as if he even tried twisting what Obama had said. He just out and out completely didn't hear or decided to just lie about what had just come out of Obama's mouth. It was incredible to watch. I just kept saying to my TV "he didn't say that". But, maybe it's an age thing. My hearing is going a bit now too, but geez... maybe he could turn up his hearing aid since he was sitting so closely, he should have know what was really said.

Clearly McCain's best moment of the night was when he tried to pull off the "I'm not Bush" comment. However, it kind of looses it's effect when you've voted just like him so many times. To me the most clear distancing of himself from the Bush administration didn't come in that comment, it came in his opening. McCain made sure to "give his thoughts and prayers" to Nancy Regan who was in the hospital. But you didn't see him say the same about Dick Cheney who is also in the hospital. Hmmmm.... I'm not a fan of Cheney's either, but I'd have wished him thoughts and prayers. But I digress.

It's obvious on my blog whom I've decided our country needs this time around. I've blogged previously about the fact that two years ago I would have entertained voting McCain. But even if I thought they were anywhere near close in policies that are important to me, last nights demeanor itself would have swayed my vote. If you had watched with split screen the way I did, you'll know where I'm heading. Our country is in such poor standing around the world right now that the last thing we need is a President out negotiating for us, that looks as though he's going to blow a gasket at any moment. McCain's demeanor said it all. He's mean spirited, rude and condesending. He even tried to say that he's repudiated every bad comment in his stump speeches against Obama. Now I watch a lot of news... and NO McCain, you haven't. And your running mate certainly hasn't either. Your Fight fight fight... no matter what the fight is is NOT what this country needs right now. I'll take the calm and thoughtful person any time. Obama couldn't be shaken. He was on message because he knows what his message is. It doesn't change every time he speaks to try to get the votes. He just has ideas and is smart enough to articulate them without all the snarky rude comments.

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a big fan of Toby Keith. He has a song with the title "Angry American". Now, I know who that is.

wow... right in her own state...

2008-10-15T20:21:00.000-04:00

And her campaign is the one that put this out... (thought that Energy was the one thing she claimed to be expert in). How would you miss this one? Guess her own people in Alaska don't even bother to keep her in the loop anymore.

The campaign of vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin said the Alaska governor was unaware of a visit by Russian oil officials to Anchorage on Monday.

Eight high-level officials from Gazprom, Russia's state-controlled oil conglomerate, traveled to Anchorage earlier this week to meet with the Alaska Department of Natural Resources and the chief executive of ConocoPhillips to discuss energy projects and the possibility of expanding into new markets.

The meeting on Alaskan soil comes at a time of chilly relations between Russia and the United States following Russia's invasion of Georgia in August. Both Palin and John McCain have been critical of Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin on the campaign trail, and Palin raised eyebrows last month in an interview by saying that Putin "rears his head" by dispatching Russian jets into Alaska's airspace.

Palin has argued that her state's proximity to Russia, as well as trade missions between the between Alaska and Russia, have helped give her the foreign policy experience necessary to be Vice President. But the campaign said the governor did not know that the Gazprom delegation was meeting with the commissioner of the Alaska Department of Natural Resources, who is a Palin appointee.

Asked if Palin supports Gazprom doing business in Alaska, an aide to the governor said that "Alaska state officials routinely meet with government representatives from energy companies around the world."

"Alaska has been, and will remain, very selective about companies with whom they do business," said Palin spokesperson Tracey Schmitt.

hmmm...

2008-10-13T20:20:00.000-04:00

The following quote came from Palin after the probe found "that she abused her power as Alaska's governor, and violated state ethics law by trying to get Wooten fired from the state police."

She's says:
"Well, I'm very very pleased to be cleared of any legal wrongdoing, any hint of any kind of unethical activity there," Palin said on a Saturday conference call with reporters from the Anchorage Daily News, KTVA-Channel 11 and KTUU-Channel 2. "Very pleased to be cleared of any of that."

Guess we now know what she reads and doesn't read. She can finally name some newspapers, but forgets to read the findings of her own probe. That seems convenient.

Gov. Todd Palin???

2008-10-09T16:58:00.000-04:00

If this woman is that disengaged to not know what her
"best friend, advisor" of a husband is doing in HER administration....do we really need her in the Washington?

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/10/09/politics/main4511568.shtml?tag=topStory;topStoryHeadlineccmm

Throw the husband under the bus to take the heat off? Even if that's the tactic, doesn't this bring up a lot of other issues about why he has so much connection in her administration? We already know he sits in on meetings in her office... maybe we now know why. Either way, this story just doesn't add up nor look good for the lady governor.

on to the ridiculous

2008-10-08T22:16:00.001-04:00

Ok, we've taken things way too far now. Republicans are now screaming about a "less than flattering" (in their view) picture of Sarah Palin on the new cover of Newsweek. In their mind, Newsweek is such an elitest democratic magazine, they went out of their way to NOT retouch the picture in order to degrade Palin. There are so many things wrong with that I don't even know where to begin. Aren't we supposed to be happy with the way we look? Why do politicians "deserve" to be retouched to look good on the cover of news magazines? It's not like they are supermodels. And geez... I may not particularly think Palin is good for our country as a VP, but she's attractive even in this picture. Do these folks screaming about it think they are helping her? If I were Sarah, I'd be more offended that they are the ones talking about all my flaws in the picture. If they weren't... no one would probably be noticing them at all.

If you click on the picture, it gets bigger... but I still don't see what's wrong with it. Does it say something about how shallow these people are, that they all do?

I’m sick over this...

2008-10-07T20:15:00.000-04:00

I just came home from work to the news that at Palin rallies today, while asking what people thought about Obama, that those great values based republican based folks were screaming things like "terrorist" and "kill him", etc. How low can those folks actually sink in this campaign season. There was even a confrontation with a reporting photographer where he was called such racial slurs that the anchors wouldn't even repeat them. Calls for Obama's secret service to be really vigilant too. Wouldn't surprise me if that is the republican's new strategy... to make folks worry about something happening to Obama to try to scare others away from voting for him. They are getting extremely desperate.

There was just a McCain campaign spokes"woman" on and when asked why McCain has gone so negative and dirty this past weekend after saying he wouldn't do that, she actually stood there and said "I don't know what you're referring to". How do these folks look at themselves in the mirror. They must all be going a bit senile from just being around that man too much. So much for the party of unity and bi-partisanship. How do they ever think they'll reach across any isle after all they do is try to tear people apart.

Maybe they need Jon Stewart to bring out the tapes reminding McCain of what he said he would and wouldn't do during a campaign. They can't seem to remember from moment to moment. At least Obama is fighting back. I can't believe I ever considered voting for this party. It must have been a moment of stupidity on my part. No matter who wins this... I just want it over.

and so it begins...

2008-10-06T20:14:00.000-04:00

The McCain campaign was right... they were going to try to change the subject since McCain was dropping in the polls. So, the attack dog (Palin) started it this weekend. She's bringing up all the old stuff that has been debunked already. But, as she said in the VP Debate, she's only been in this for 5 weeks. She made a mistake yesterday when answering a reporters question, when she said that these things that haven't been talked about before, should be out there. Guess in Alaska, she didn't hear all the talk of these things before. This has been tried already. Hopefully people will be as smart this time as they were last time, and not buy into this crap. Oh yeah, Fox News also had a show on last night that couldn't have just been made in last two days, but it practically had Obama as the head of Al Queda for pete's sake. They really have sunk pretty low, but that's nothing new. And they call themselves fair and balanced.

And so begins the part of campaign season that I hate... the personal attacks that are so desparate. The only thing I'm happy about (and I don't like that people have to do this) is that Obama is not letting it slide as John Kerry did. As soon as I heard all of this on Saturday, I said... "boy... McCain should be careful or Obama camp could do the Keating 5, Palin's troppergate, and Palin's own share of Rev. issues". Not sure about the rest of them, but there is already a reminder video on the web about Keating 5 as a reminder of the bank failing there, and how it relates to the same things that are happening in the banks now.

To bad you had to do it Obama... but good for you for not letting them walk all over you like they've tried to do to others in past elections. Shame on you McCain for not living up to your word of NOT doing this stuff since it was done to you in 2000. You've completely caved to everything for a win. I hope it's all worth it to you when you have to look in the mirror. What a hypocrit.

Very funny...

2008-10-05T01:48:00.000-04:00

By SHARON THEIMER, Associated Press WriterFri Oct 3, 3:08 PM ET

Joe Six-Pack is somewhere out there on the campaign trail, coveted and courted by the presidential candidates. He is the electorate, reduced to one guy. He would be really interesting to talk to if we could only find him. Nobody ever seems to say what he looks like or where he is, exactly.

Rumor has it he is, um, a he. The "Joe" is probably a dead giveaway, though Sarah Palin has referred to putting "government back on the side of the people of Joe Six-Pack like me." He probably wears a shirt with a blue collar and lives someplace on Main Street, or at least sometimes goes to Main Street, perhaps to pick up a six-pack.

He likely drinks that six-pack at his kitchen table, where, if he's still married, he and his wife, Soccer Mom, talk about how it feels to personify Middle America and how Washington insiders are out of touch.

But at least they're better off than Six-Pack's cousin, Joe Lunchbucket, a working stiff who has to pack his own lunch and can't even afford beer. Nobody seems to mention him much.

Another prominent resident of their town, Small Business Owner, has it tough, too. To be honest, these days even the guy in the McMansion one subdivision over, White-Collar Elite, faces hardships. He could get laid off anytime. When it comes to heavy mortgages, high gas prices and the other weighty issues of our time, he's starting to look an awful lot like Joe Six-Pack, even if his shirt is a different color.

Fact is, Joe Six-Pack knows a lot of so-called blue-collar types — plumbers, electricians, truck drivers, the guy who owns the local car-repair shop — who make more money than White-Collar Elite. In fact, if you catch them after they've taken off their white or blue collars and put on t-shirts to go watch football, they're awfully hard to tell apart.

Still, Joe Six-Pack is the one the politicians seem to like best. It is generally understood that he is a heckuva nice guy. He drinks, but he never drinks and drives. When he does drive, he would be the last person to tailgate or cut anybody off in traffic. He just Wants What is Best for America.

Maybe the reason Joe Six-Pack sounds so good is that he doesn't exist.

Tagging voters with cliches simplifies them to the point of caricature — and is far removed from reality. People are more complicated than that, whether their employment status is classified as blue-collar, white-collar, retired, self-employed or unemployed. However pollsters might slice and dice the public, there is no Everyman. Thank goodness. That's one of the things that makes the two-year journey to the election interesting.

I grew up in a blue-collar family. My father's name isn't Joe and he doesn't drink beer. Never has. Can't stand the stuff. My mother was a "stay-at-home mom" and didn't go back to work until my brothers and I were teenagers. She wasn't a "soccer mom" or a "hockey mom." Those sports were expensive, too expensive.

My mother did pack my father's lunch each day, and later on, when she went back to work, my father used to pack hers. Did that make either of them "Joe Lunchbucket?" Now that they're retired, what are they? Just what they've always been: People who know the score and have their own opinions about politics and policy, none of which fits the candidates' cliches.

Back when I was a reporter in Wisconsin, I remember getting dispatched to one of President Clinton's speeches to ask voters "in the Heartland" about their views on his impeachment proceedings.

Democrats and Republicans on the talk shows had already offered their caricatures of the average person's opinion. But the people I spoke to — Democrats, Republicans, independent or indifferent — all had nuanced views on the impeachment. They weren't simply pro or con. And I'll bet if I had asked whether they thought of themselves as Joe Six-Pack, Soccer Mom, Main Street or any of the other categories, the answer would have been none of the above.

There used to be a feature on one of the network new shows in which a correspondent picked a spot on the map, went there, closed his eyes and pointed to a name at random in the phonebook. The theme was that everybody has a story, everyone was interesting. No one was the same. And whether the reporter went to small towns, large cities or a lonely house in the countryside, no one was a stereotype.

Yet politicians never seem to see that. Pandering politicians are as old as politics. The idea seems to be that claiming kinship with this or that voting bloc is enough to win that bloc over.

Will the mythical Joe Six-Pack swing this election to one candidate or the other? Remains to be seen. Besides, what I really want to know, if there truly is a Joe Six-Pack out there somewhere: Is he single?

You know you’re in trouble when...

2008-10-04T23:20:00.000-04:00

When your campaign basically is admitting that you're losing on issues, so you have to start more agreesively attacking people personally. In an article on msnbc it states...

"Two other top Republicans said the new ads are likely to hammer the senator from Illinois on his connections to convicted Chicago developer Antoin "Tony" Rezko and former radical William Ayres, whom the McCain campaign regularly calls a domestic terrorist because of his acts of violence against the U.S. government in the 1960s."

There going to go after the fact that Obama knows or has ever had association with these guys. And they will probably start this at Tuesdays debate first before putting out ads. Maybe that's so they can see if the CNN line goes up or down to know how the public will deal with hearing this kind of thing. It's been pretty well shown that people don't like hearing this stuff. We have enough real issues to hear about, on both sides, to stop this stuff. They also admit they can't do the Rev. Wright thing becuase McCain said he wouldn't have any part of that when they tried before. Guess he's wishing he didn't say that now...that and the fact that Palin has her own Rev. issues. So, what should Obama do if this comes up on Tuesday night. Maybe he could just simply reply...

"say it ain't so John... There you go... looking backwards instead of forward again". Or, maybe he could leave out the "say it ain't so John" part. That was annoying enough when I had to listen to it this week from Sarah. But the point would still be made correctly.

seems folks agree with me...

2008-10-03T20:30:00.000-04:00

I just found this part of a transcript of McCain on a radio talk show this morning. Apparently he was appauled about the pork barrel spending that is in the bail out bill. Odd to be so upset about it, and then vote for it. I didn't hear him name any names or make any one famous. Unbelieveable...

Update 6: Some actual language from Morning Joe, per Think Progress(they have video too!):

SCARBOROUGH: Why did these items have to be in this critical bill?

MCCAIN: Well that's just the way the system is working in Washington and the reason why it's got to be fixed, and it's got to be changed. And no matter what the stakes are, you've got to stop this by starting to veto bills that come across the president's desk. ... It's insanity and it's obscenity, because it's a waste of taxpayers' dollars and it goes on, and until we stop it, until we get frankly a president who will say, I'm gonna veto these bills, I'm gonna make the people famous that put them on there, uh, famous.

YES McCAIN... you are NOT the president so you don't get to veto it... but you could have voted NO. That would have made a statement that you at least intend to live up to this one huge promise you've made on your campaign stops. Oh... that's right you can't this one time, because if you do, it takes away your other argument that you saved the day on this whole econimic crisis.
Can anyone really take this man on his word that he's CHANGE.
Oh yeah... and by the way... McCain also said this bill is putting us on the road to economic disaster. He still voted YES.

Post VP debate thoughts...

2008-10-03T20:08:00.000-04:00

Phew... it's finally over. While talking with Tim yesterday prior to the debate, I gave him my views on how I "thought" it would all play out. He suggested I put it on here before it started so that people would know it ahead of time, then I could contrast it after the fact. Unfortunately, I didn't have time for that. But here is what I thought before watching...

Sarah would come out pounding on Biden and be exactly what we saw in the RNC speech. It would be full of jabs and sarcastic comments and then if she was lucky enough to goad him into any retaliating comment, we'd hear her and the whole right scream sexism. I did believe she would come out much more coherently than she has in her previous interviews, but that was either going to be because she had so much debate camp... or that the previous interviews were just a ruse to get the expectation game where they wanted it.

Now after the debate... how well did I predict? In my mind, she did come out full bore ready to fight him on most any topic... albiet she tried it in a cute sort of way. It was kind of like watching a teenage girl trying to flirt with a boy, but not quite being sure exactly how to go about it. She was full of what they are calling "fokesiness", but still comes across as sarcastic to me. It's what I have been telling my kids forever "it's not what you say, but how you say it". In her case, I think I could amend it and also add "and how you mean it". I understand the need on her part to want to "seem" like the average person, and I believe a lot of "average" people will fall for it. But like I've said in the past... I don't want someone just like me running the country... I want better, smarter and actually more informed. I don't think she came across much more informed last night... just much more coherent. She obvioulsy learned a couple of more talking points at McCains ranch, but just a couple. Other than those, she used almost word for word, the exact same verbiage that she has since that convention, and in every stump speech she's given. She just had to figure out where to plug them in based on what was asked.

On to point 2... the problem with them being able to scream sexism, is that Joe Biden didn't give them any reason to even try (although to be fair, I haven't listened to that wonderful am talk radio yet). Joe Biden was exactly what I expected him to be... he was very very good. He always has been. In fact a couple of years ago, when I tinkered with voting for McCain before he morphed into his current version of himself... I mentioned to someone that the only thing that could get me to do that would be if he reached across the isle to pick his running mate... and that running mate was Joe Biden. Joe can claim much more expert status on many of the issues and wouldn't trouble me at all if the President died and he had to step in. So... I was wrong on how that part of the night would go. Way to go Joe for staying above the respect line.

Overall, I think Palin completely ducked far too many questions, and even as much as admitted that she would not answer some as they wanted her to. She couldn't answer some simply because she couldn't... she didn't know how. So whenever that happened, she just simply turned it back to energy... something she likes to believe that she can not only talk to, but is an expert in. That point is still out for debate. I found all of the tactics of ducking questions and throwing in instead the "I'm like you" talking points, a bit annoying.

The absolute most telling point last night was her answer to questions about Dick Cheney. In the debate, she thinks he's right with the kind of power he has or has tried to have... in fact she'd seek to have more of it if she were VP. That's frightening. He has so much power and as much as I don't like him, he had at least had some real intelligence and ability to think thru issues (whether we like his thoughts or not) to go along with it. She wants more power, and doesn't have the intelligence to know what to do with it. In that regard, she should be more frightening than Cheney. And on the Katie Couric interview last night prior to the debate, she was asked what was the worst thing that Dick Cheney did for our country. She replied "the duck hunting incident". Really??? That was bad for his friend, but the worst thing he did for our country. Wow... I'm sure there are worse things than that.

I think the debate was good... it was engaging, they were polite enough to each other and actually you came out of it thinking they had some sort of respect for each other that might become genuine. I think she did a good job and I wanted that for her if for no other reason that we could stop looking so bad for standing behind her, but also that maybe they'll let her off her leash now. I think she did a good job simply because she looked better, not because of any substance behind anything she said. I think them letting her out now will still be the telling point. Put her on Meet the Press and Face the Nation and see if she can still speak to questions without flash cards or if she falls on her face again... or can say anything we haven't heard from her before. They really really need to do this... not just campaigning, really answering questions... real questions on policy. Debating has been her thing for a long time as she can turn things around and answer what she wants. I still want to see her in the real settings answering more policy type questions. However... it still won't make me vote for that ticket, as she's still not ready, and McCain still doesn't have a clue either. I'm still in it for someone intelligent.

The bottom line is still this.. she isn't like us... but she isn't smart enough yet to be one of them either. She still shouldn't get there. One commentator said last night, she didn't do McCain any good really... no change. But she did herself good for 2012. We won't see the last of her regardless, so hold on to your hat folks, she could be around for a long time. If they win, it could be many many years of her.

Broken promises or just plain stupidity...

2008-10-02T11:49:00.000-04:00

I spent a very nice and relaxing evening with my better half last night (thank you to the boys volleyball team for having a chicken bbq fundraiser... it was delicious). However, by the time I got back home, I felt like I had run two miles instead of relaxed for several hours. You see, I turned on am talk radio on my way home. I know... why in the world would I do that? But I was just trying to see if the Senate passed the bail-out bill, and was sure there'd be news about it. There certainly was news. Unfortunately it was the Michael Savage show. For several years I've been trying to determine who I detest more... Michael or Rush Limbaugh. It's still a toss up. But, since I'd eaten alot, I did get a good workout as my blood pressure and heart rate rises so much when I listen to these kinds of people.

The point though is this... Michael was yelling at the radio in his normal "you're all idiots and I'm the only one with a clue or morals" voice, and stating that the democrats should all be put in jail for 25 years to life because they "squeeked into the bill a provision for health care for the mentally challenged". To be fair, he wasn't complaining about the mentally challenged this time, but about the fact that this amounted to porkbarrel spending that got into the already too pricey bill.

So my question is simply this... If that is porkbarrel spending that was added, is it just his stupidity and how he loves to yell at people that is the issue, or is it that Presidential Nominee McCain is already breaking his promise to "name names and make them famous" for anyone that adds pork to a bill. After all, he did vote in favor of this one with that provision in there. Guess the republican party nominee doesn't see it as pork at all. Oh an one last note, there is a provision now for Alaskan Fisherman. Guess Todd will like that one...

It’s been a long time...

2008-10-01T20:04:00.001-04:00

There has been so much going on in the news that I've been busy watching, instead of commenting on it... at least in here. But today, I think I'll take a couple of moments to say... What the heck???

Sarah Palin is getting worse by the day in my opinion. I'm actually starting to feel sorry for her. Maybe if McCain thought she was really smart enough to be the next VP of the United States and was qualified to do so, he'd also think she's qualified enough to speak... and even for herself every now and again. The interviews she's "been allowed" to give so far, are laughable. But the thought that they blame the press for "gotcha" when it was an average joe voter that asked a question, is crazy. Then instead of letting her even answer that, McCain sits in on the interview and interrupts her. Is he really that frightened of what she'll say on her own. Even his campaign is saying that the boot camp is because she hasn't been exposed to all this foreign policy stuff and needs to get up to speed before the debates. Shouldn't our VP have at the very least dabbled in this stuff before excepting a nomination.

Back to that "average Joe" thing. McCain and Palin mocked the "average joe" voter in the instance at the philly cheesestake restaurant, but then last night Palin goes on a radio interview and dubs herself as the "average joe six-pack" american that happens to be running for office. There is a lot wrong with that... not the least of which is that I DON'T WANT AVERAGE in the White House. Didn't we get that with Bush. He ran on the "I'm just an average american living on a ranch..." Oh yeah...I hear he bought that ranch just before that and now that he's leaving office, he's selling it. Guess it worked out for those great photo ops though. But, I digress...

So... Palin is just an "average joe six-pack" and that makes her understand our woes over the economy. After all, she has lost $20K in her own 401K because of it. Not sure there are too many "average joe six-packs" americans that have enough in their 401K (if they even have one) to have lost that much. Also, she says this one day after an article comes out that explains her net worth (just a clarifying point on that... they had to dig because she still hasn't released her records that all other candidates were forced to release). Anyway, based on that net worth, she's clearly NOT average by any means, and completely wealthy in comparison to all others in her home town.

But all that aside... I want a smart person in the Pres and VP positions. Whether the American public thinks that's Obama or McCain, it's clearly not Palin. I'm routing for her to do well in the debate because I believe the whole world will be watching and we are already pretty laughable to most of the rest of the world. If she tanks and can't put a sentence together like on these interviews, we'll only look worse because so many people actually believe she's qualified for this. What will that say about the intelligence of Americans to the rest of the world.

One notion that keeps popping into my mind is the crisis between Russia and Georgia. Days after Palin was picked as VP, President Bush dispatched VP Cheney to Russia and Georgia to try to help negotiate peace. If that crisis were to happen in January of 09 (if McCain/Palin wins) would McCain dispatch Palin to try to negotiate with those foreign leaders. And if so... could I please be a fly on the wall? I can't imagine how that would go.

So, everyone seems very happy that the bar is so low for the debate tomorrow night. For me, I cringe when I hear those words. I don't want the bar to be low for something like this... I want the bar to be extremely high as I believe they should ALL be able to acheive that to be in line for these jobs. I'm not saying by any means that I believe any of these people are the best our country has to offer... but lets at least be honest about who's even capable in the running field that we have in front of us. We range from someone who spent 6 years in 5 colleges to get a 4 year degree in jounalism and still can't form coherent sentences (Palin) , to Senators who've been around for very long periods of time and have morphed into people they are not in the last 6 months just to get the nomination (McCain), to Military schooling finishing almost last in his class (McCain), to Senator with wide foreign policy credentials that makes mistakes in some comments but has the issues right (Biden) to Senator with less time to be that experienced but Political Science/Harvard Law graduate and professor (Obama). It's a wide range, but this time around, I have to go with intelligence and the ability to think things thru vs. gut reactions that force them to change their minds every other day. Look where that lack of intelligence and the "fight at all costs mentality" has gotten us in the most recent years for our country.

All of our prayers should be made that the people of America become honest with themselves and vote based on real issues, not who they want to have a cup of coffee with. And also, it wouldn't hurt to pray for whomever gets elected. They're gonna need all the help they can get.

Fears, lies and video...

2008-09-11T12:12:00.001-04:00

The news is so hard to watch these days. They keep telling us we are hammering too much trying to find out about the potential VP Sarah Palin. Isn't that what we're supposed to do. We've spent the last 19 months hammering Obama on things like his Rev. Wright, his wife, his policies, etc. Why wouldn't we want to find out about her and whether or not she is being honest about things. She's new... no one knows anything about her. Would they rather we all just elected someone whom we didn't even care what they've done or believe or where they come from (oh wait... they might).

I'm sick now, so I was up pretty late last night. Late enough to watch the amazing coverage about her "homecoming" to Alaska. Interestingly, since she's been in a vacuum since announced, she was finally going to be out on her own. It may be one of the only times, as they've announced that since she is bringing so many people to see McCain, they will likely just keep her with him. They also acknowledged that would mean she wouldn't be very available for other outside interviews. I think we have a good idea why that might be. I've suspected that if they put her in front of news media that are live and unscripted, she may not be able to do the same attacking of personal issues without having to answer a few policy questions about the things she's been saying about herself. I felt that even more last night when she did her "speech" at her homecoming. She asked for teleprompters for that. Seemed strange as she's given nearly the same speech on the stump for several weeks now. It was a bit different though as she didn't say a couple of things that she's been fond of saying elsewhere. She didn't mention that plane that sold on e-bay (for a profit claimed McCain). It actually sold for a loss and not on ebay. But more obvious is she never mentioned, for the first time since we were introduced to her, that bridge to nowhere that she stopped. Probably because the Alaskans know that line is completely false... and that they've been still using the money they got for it to build the access road for the bridge that won't be built (along with other things). As for the pipeline that she "'got done". There was a great article about it in the paper today... a good read... but basically says that the paper work needs to be done "by the end of 2011" and work won't start until then. There are also considerable "if's" as to whether it will even be built because the Oil Company she chose wants a $500 billion match of their funds, by the State of Alaska, and now some Alaskan government doesn't think that's a good idea (sarah agreed to it previously) This project that she "got done" isn't even in the beginning stages yet, and may never be.

Well, she is giving an interview today to the ABC news channel. I don't think it's live and I'm pretty sure it was set up with "conditions" as many taped interviews are (and with editing). We may also see the deployment of her son to Iraq today (even though we should leave her family out of everything). I watched Glen Beck last night. He used to be much more impartial before they announced her as running mate. Now it's kind of a love fest (they do share alot in common though). He asked his panelists last night why they would put her interview on a Thursday night, knowing that apparently in the media Thursdays and Fridays are typically for topics not so important as many people don't watch. He truely didn't get why it would be done today. Other people had to say that it was because it was 9/11 and her son was deploying, and that it was brilliant timing on the republicans part. (see note below about why I feel more sorry for the victims of 9/11)

Article: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/11/us/politics/11pipeline.html?th&emc=th

But this is fun too: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/03d0f10a32

Having said all of this, I do have the right to know, and I make it my business to really pay attention to what all of the candidates are about. If I didn't, I have no business going into that voting booth in November to vote for anyone.

Sadly, it's 9/11 today and I fear that it will, yet again, only serve as a reminder to the current administration to be sure that we are out there being scared so that they can make us all vote for the "only ones that can save them from terrorists". When will the fear mongering stop! Let's all start being a bit more hopeful in years to come. It would make everyone so much happier than being constantly reminded of how we are going to be attacked again. I'm sure we'll hear that old message throughout this day of remembrance. I am beginning to feel even sorrier for the families that lost someone on that day. Not only did they loose someone, but they are being used because of it.

you decide...

2008-09-08T10:19:00.000-04:00

Maybe one of the best articles about Palin. Facts and you get to decide them as you want, with no spin.

more fact checks... they just keep on coming...

2008-09-07T16:03:00.000-04:00

http://www.factcheck.org/elections-2008/gop_convention_spin_part_ii.html

keep the kids out of it

2008-09-05T21:00:00.002-04:00

Here's a really sad notion... CBS was interviewing one of McCain's campaign officials to see how this was effecting his campaign and the woman said that even though Obama came out with the statement he did to tell people to stay away from Palin's family, that the democrats are going to have to answer to why they spread such vicious rumors and hate mongering on the democratic blogs. As if the democratic party itself was to blame for the stories that are out there. And just for kicks, I actually visited the FOX news article on this and read the posts. The great Republican Christian right people were using language on some of those posts that I wouldn't use to slam anyone who had any opinion at all about it... as if any voter had no right to have an opinion good or bad. This is going to get ugly real fast if they hammer Obama on this during the campaign after he told people to lay off the family.

I do have some other comment on the story as a whole though.

After the Bill Clinton affair, he himself was blamed for the teenagers in our country changing their attitudes about oral sex. Oral sex was somehow ok with all kids and the excuse that most adults gave for the change of those attitudes was "the President did it and made it acceptable for them". Will we now hear the argument that more teens will become pregnant because "well, the VPs daughter did it" if she should win. I'm guessing no, because that will be somehow different. Don't get me wrong, I feel really sad for Bristol and wish her all the best in trying to raise this child with her fathers help (mom will be kind of busy). But, she's young and her moms choice to accept this nomination knowing that this would come out, has put that girls every more into the spotlight. And for what... so an agenda can be furthered. As a mother, I would be very supportive of my daughter too, but I wouldn't put her in the world spotlight on top of it. I'm a working mom too, but my kids and their feelings and well being would always come first. I don't believe, like others are saying, that the fact that she is pregnant is her moms fault as kids will do what they want no matter what you bring them up to believe. But it was a poor decision to put the girl thru this at this level after the fact.

They also keep making the point that its so great that she's choosing to keep this baby. However, it is that same choice they want to take away from everyone else. I don't think they are even listening to what they are saying. I would never, nor would I want my kids to ever abort a baby, it isn't about that, it's about the choices they want to keep taking away from everyone. If that daughter had the choice to make, why shouldn't everyone get that same choice. Or better yet, if Palin wasn't so anti-sex education, their wouldn't have had to be a choice to begin with. We cannot stop kids from having sex simply because we or God tells them not to, that has been proven over and over again. I don't believe sex-education means "great now you can go and do it" and I don't think the majority of our teens are that stupid either. They obviously still do it and this whole "no sex-education, abstenence only policies" just keep getting proven ineffective over and over again.

I believe the daughter should be off-limits in all of this, but the policies will not be... especially during a campaign season. That in itself will keep this girl in particular in the spotlight... and her mom should have been smart enough to know that and taken it into consideration before running for office like this. As I said, I feel bad for Bristol...for many many reasons.

fact check

2008-09-04T09:08:00.000-04:00

So here is some of the examples of the fact check... for those than only ever listen to speeches and believe what they hear is fact.

ST. PAUL, Minn. – Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and her Republican supporters held back little Wednesday as they issued dismissive attacks on Barack Obama and flattering praise on her credentials to be vice president. In some cases, the reproach and the praise stretched the truth.

Some examples:

PALIN: "I have protected the taxpayers by vetoing wasteful spending ... and championed reform to end the abuses of earmark spending by Congress. I told the Congress 'thanks but no thanks' for that Bridge to Nowhere."

THE FACTS: As mayor of Wasilla, Palin hired a lobbyist and traveled to Washington annually to support earmarks for the town totaling $27 million. In her two years as governor, Alaska has requested nearly $750 million in special federal spending, by far the largest per-capita request in the nation. While Palin notes she rejected plans to build a $398 million bridge from Ketchikan to an island with 50 residents and an airport, that opposition came only after the plan was ridiculed nationally as a "bridge to nowhere."

PALIN: "There is much to like and admire about our opponent. But listening to him speak, it's easy to forget that this is a man who has authored two memoirs but not a single major law or reform — not even in the state senate."

THE FACTS: Compared to McCain and his two decades in the Senate, Obama does have a more meager record. But he has worked with Republicans to pass legislation that expanded efforts to intercept illegal shipments of weapons of mass destruction and to help destroy conventional weapons stockpiles. The legislation became law last year. To demean that accomplishment would be to also demean the work of Republican Sen. Richard Lugar of Indiana, a respected foreign policy voice in the Senate. In Illinois, he was the leader on two big, contentious measures in Illinois: studying racial profiling by police and requiring recordings of interrogations in potential death penalty cases. He also successfully co-sponsored major ethics reform legislation.

PALIN: "The Democratic nominee for president supports plans to raise income taxes, raise payroll taxes, raise investment income taxes, raise the death tax, raise business taxes, and increase the tax burden on the American people by hundreds of billions of dollars."

THE FACTS: The Tax Policy Center, a think tank run jointly by the Brookings Institution and the Urban Institute, concluded that Obama's plan would increase after-tax income for middle-income taxpayers by about 5 percent by 2012, or nearly $2,200 annually. McCain's plan, which cuts taxes across all income levels, would raise after tax-income for middle-income taxpayers by 3 percent, the center concluded.

Obama would provide $80 billion in tax breaks, mainly for poor workers and the elderly, including tripling the Earned Income Tax Credit for minimum-wage workers and higher credits for larger families.

He also would raise income taxes, capital gains and dividend taxes on the wealthiest. He would raise payroll taxes on taxpayers with incomes above $250,000, and he would raise corporate taxes. Small businesses that make more than $250,000 a year would see taxes rise.

MCCAIN: "She's been governor of our largest state, in charge of 20 percent of America's energy supply ... She's responsible for 20 percent of the nation's energy supply. I'm entertained by the comparison and I hope we can keep making that comparison that running a political campaign is somehow comparable to being the executive of the largest state in America," he said in an interview with ABC News' Charles Gibson.

THE FACTS: McCain's phrasing exaggerates both claims. Palin is governor of a state that ranks second nationally in crude oil production, but she's no more "responsible" for that resource than President Bush was when he was governor of Texas, another oil-producing state. In fact, her primary power is the ability to tax oil, which she did in concert with the Alaska Legislature. And where Alaska is the largest state in America, McCain could as easily have called it the 47th largest state — by population.

MCCAIN: "She's the commander of the Alaska National Guard. ... She has been in charge, and she has had national security as one of her primary responsibilities," he said on ABC.

THE FACTS: While governors are in charge of their state guard units, that authority ends whenever those units are called to actual military service. When guard units are deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan, for example, they assume those duties under "federal status," which means they report to the Defense Department, not their governors. Alaska's national guard units have a total of about 4,200 personnel, among the smallest of state guard organizations.

FORMER ARKANSAS GOV. MIKE HUCKABEE: Palin "got more votes running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska than Joe Biden got running for president of the United States."

THE FACTS: A whopper. Palin got 616 votes in the 1996 mayor's election, and got 909 in her 1999 re-election race, for a total of 1,525. Biden dropped out of the race after the Iowa caucuses, but he still got 76,165 votes in 23 states and the District of Columbia where he was on the ballot during the 2008 presidential primaries.

FORMER MASSACHUSETTS GOV. MITT ROMNEY: "We need change, all right — change from a liberal Washington to a conservative Washington! We have a prescription for every American who wants change in Washington — throw out the big-government liberals, and elect John McCain and Sarah Palin."

THE FACTS: A Back-to-the-Future moment. George W. Bush, a conservative Republican, has been president for nearly eight years. And until last year, Republicans controlled Congress. Only since January 2007 have Democrats have been in charge of the House and Senate.

GOP Performance

2008-09-04T08:53:00.000-04:00

Today, I have a couple of firsts in my life. The first one is that I'm not going to "comment" on a blog, I'm actually going to write one.

The second is that, yes "for the first time in my life", I'm actually ashamed to be a woman that might get attached to last night's disgusting display at the Republican National Convention. I, like everyone else, started a path of trying to get to know who Sarah Palin was when she was the surprising pick by John McCain for the VP of the United States. Immediately, my reaction was, "He picked a women and it was a ploy to get Hillary voters." Having thought that, I was still willing to give her a chance to show why he picked her. Unfortunately, I still haven't figured that part out yet. I, like many others, am willing to leave everything personally about her pregnant teenage daughter out of my mind, as kids are off limits (and I'm not dumb enough to think it couldn't happen in my family). But the mother's policy making ideals and judgments, even about her raising her family, are not off the table. They will determine what policies she goes after if elected.

From what we've learned, she doesn't believe in birth control, sex-education, pro-choice, etc. If she had believed in the first two of those things, we wouldn't really have to discuss the third one or her views on it quite yet. But since we do have to discuss it in America far too often, isn't the Pro-Life movement about more than just abortion? Shouldn't it also be about the choices you make for ALL lives? If so, then why personally, did she choose to put her baby Trig's life in potential jeopardy while in labor with him and get on a plane, fly as long as she did, pass by very reputable hospitals, just to get home? This, after all, was a high risk pregnancy for a couple of reasons... first, she knew it was a challenged baby, and second, her age alone puts her in that category. That decision does speak to judgment in my point of view, and one that should be on the table for debate. And then, politically, pro-life should also be about the death penalty as well. After all, even President Bush said that he would always come out on the side of life (well, with that one exception of the death penalty law).

On top of that, we've learned that both her pregnant daughter and her soon-to-be husband have both dropped out of school. Now I know that Sarah being the mother of a 17 year old, can't tell her not to drop out (any more than she could tell her to not have sex). But, wouldn't she try to counsel her that it would be in the baby's best interest to have parents that are at least high school graduates.

All this could be left aside if it wasn't for the fact that John McCain brought her on to the national stage and introduced her as a great mother with great judgment and practically the second coming of Jesus (if you listen to the extreme Christian right of the party). And that brings me to why I am so ashamed and embarrassed at the thought of being lumped with a woman like I saw on TV last night. She spent much of her speech being that "pit bull in lipstick" that she referred to as the hockey moms. She was demeaning, sarcastic and downright nasty with so many personal attacks to the opposite side, that I almost had to turn it off. The hypocrisy of the Republican party based on good Christians values was repulsive. Isn't that the same group that is supposed to love everyone and treat people as they want to be treated? Aren't they supposed to be the party that is based on What Would Jesus Do? Well, I know as a Christian, that Jesus wouldn't have done what she or any of the other speakers did last night. It was personal for them last night. I wish everyone watching those speeches last night, would also watch the fact-check sessions today to hear the real facts about the very few discussion points about policy that came out. But not to worry.. there weren't many of those. The whole evening was devoted to slams. On the plus side for her... she wasn't the only one I was disappointed in. You see, I once thought Mitt Romney would be the best choice the Republicans had to win, but even his own party decided he wasn't good enough. I decided that last night for myself as well. Huckabee... another slamming Christian that got rousing applause each and every time he slammed. And as for Rudy... I can't even go there. He was just not even worth my typing ability.

At any rate, there is one thing I can say the Republicans did well last night... even masterfully. Their strategy in this speech made a pit bull out of Sarah, and it played perfectly to their notion that no matter what any Democrat says about her today... they can scream sexism. And yes... it's already happened. It happened immediately after when Harry Reid said her speech was "shrill and sarcastic". The women commentators even said as woman that was a bad word to use. However, as a woman who won't vote for someone simply because they are one too, he was spot on in that assessment. Of course you couldn't call a man's speech shrill, but that was what it sounded like to me too. I'm just not the kind of dumb woman that they were hoping would fall for this speech.

I happen to think that after last night, it's a sad day for women... not a good one. If any other woman, in any aspect of her life, acted as our potential VP did last night, she'd be called far worse than shrill and sarcastic... and has been many times. So if she can act like this, why can't we say the same about her?

When this campaign season started, I was actually saying that if McCain got in the race, I could almost see me voting for him. That was before he did a complete 180 so that he could play to the base. I was a bit lukewarm on Obama, but knew I would vote for him over McCain. Now, after having watched both party's conventions (and even before watching McCain tonight), I'm way more aligned with the Obama camp. He tried to inspire people, while the RNC just tried to tear him down. I've had enough of the hypocrisy.

Kim's blog

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It's about time...