I've seen the following on people's FB page lately...
Dear Mr. President I hear you would like to freeze pay rates for military starting next year. Would you also consider cutting your own pay to save much more money for our country? While you're at it, lets cut down congressman's pay too. If the people who risk their lives don't get an increase in pay, why would we continue raising pay for those who take no risks and reap the benefits? Keep it going if you agree.
Of course, in my opinion, this is just another thing getting attached directly to the President as if it's his wish that this happen. If it sounds negative, let's blame him. This really needs to stop. This is a DRAFT of an idea of the commission that he put together to determine how we MIGHT cut the deficit. This isn't the President's idea. But if you look at people's FB, it's yet another thing he is getting wrong.
The commission will put out their final report, it will need to get by congress before he could even sign off on it. That would be unlikely in our current environment. And... this pay cut is not across the board in military people either. No one risking their lives in combat would fall under this freeze, for instance. So people, let's just relax and start attributing ideas where they really should be. How about instead of just reposting things that are seen on other's walls, you actually research them first. You could start by reading this. And maybe, we could all remember how things get past in our government. The President doesn't just think of these things and they become law. It doesn't work that way.
To be clear, I'm not stating at all that I'm for pay cuts for those defending our country. I'm not in favor of anything that takes our strength away from those folks for something real not made up by politicians to sound bad. In fact, DADT if not repealed, will continue to weaken us as well as we stand to loose tens of thousands of good folks that are willing to serve and defend our country, simply because they have a different life style than someone deems fit for military service. That's a shame. However, I am advocating that people really think before they post and attribute things to a specific individual (The President) just because it furthers their negative campaign against him. If all that BS stops, we might start getting something done for a change.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
Praying for Atheists
I was reading my news feeds this morning and came across this article. It is about the well know atheist, Christopher Hitchens, who has been diagnosed with Cancer. He is in his 4th round of Chemo and to his admittance, "he is dying... just faster than the rest of us". There is a group of people that have planned a "Everybody Pray for Hitchens Day." He will not be attending.
Reading this article, brings about some interesting questions. He declares that there are many people that are praying for him and that he puts them into three different categories,
those who seem genuinely glad he's suffering and dying from cancer; those who want him to become a believer in their religious faith; and those who are asking God to heal him. It's these categories that got me to thinking.
If you fall in the "glad he's suffering and dying from cancer" then that's just really sad. My guess is that he believes there are Christians in that category that believe he's getting what he deserves based on his strong Atheistic views. If that's the case, than shame on those people. They really aren't Christians after all. It would be those Christians that should pray the most for his recovery, if for no other reason than then they could say "see, God does exist and healed you".
These would would be the folks that I would see in category two "those who want him to become a believer". What better way to try to convert him than having a special day set aside to do nothing but pray for his heath. If he gets better, than maybe he'll see the light and believe all those prayers were answered. Or would he? That is the question I'm pondering. Would an atheist such as himself ever be able to believe that God answered those prayers or would it be all a coincidence. Knowing you had so many people praying for you to recover, and you do when all odds are against it... would that open your heart to believing? And, would God really answer those prayers for the sole purpose of hoping for that conversion, or would God really let him suffer based on his previous actions? All good questions that can generate a lot of conversation, but possibly not any useful answers from people. You'd never know what could have been done with a conversion, until a person is healed and then actually willing to consider something other than coincidence. It would be that category three "praying for healing" that would have to have some good consideration were that to happen for him.
One interesting comment in the article, was " It's that third group _ people who are asking God for Hitchens' healing _ that causes Hitchens to choose his words even more carefully than normal. Are those prayers OK? Are they helpful? "I say it's fine by me, I think of it as a nice gesture. And it may well make them feel better, which is a good thing in itself," says Hitchens.
That response is something I'm familiar with in my own life having a man in my life who is an atheist. When Tim went through his brain tumor surgery three years ago, we knew at the time it wasn't life threatening (meaning it wasn't cancerous). But Tim received many many prayers for him to come through it all safely, prayers for myself and his family, etc. And, he was very appreciative of those prayers. It touched him that people would take the time to pray for him, even though it isn't something he believes in or would do himself. He knows that prayers mean something to others and is an important part of their lives and he is very respectful of that. He believes that in that context, it is good for everyone. For those praying for him that they feel like they are doing something for him, and for himself, it was touching that they cared enough about him to pray for him. I am not at all comparing him to Hitchens in any way other than that they are self proclaimed atheists. Trust me, Tim is way more respectful than I've ever found Hitchens to be about other peoples belief systems. I'm just saying that maybe there are those out there that are lumping all Atheists into the same broad brush as they are currently trying to lump all Muslims. Atheists come in all levels of their dis-belief system the same way believers come in all levels. Some are very very extreme on both sides. Others are very very respectful. It's all in how you go about it.
So, as the Christian that I am and hope to show to others, I would most definitely pray for Christopher Hitchens. Not to prove a point to him that God will answer my prayers and certainly not to pray for him to die. I will pray for him because it's not only the Christian thing to do to pray for those suffering, but it's the right thing to do as a human being for someone who is suffering. After all, if you don't like him, at least think of what his family and his children are going through with the thought of losing their husband, son, sibling, father. It's very simply, the right thing to do.
Reading this article, brings about some interesting questions. He declares that there are many people that are praying for him and that he puts them into three different categories,
those who seem genuinely glad he's suffering and dying from cancer; those who want him to become a believer in their religious faith; and those who are asking God to heal him. It's these categories that got me to thinking.
If you fall in the "glad he's suffering and dying from cancer" then that's just really sad. My guess is that he believes there are Christians in that category that believe he's getting what he deserves based on his strong Atheistic views. If that's the case, than shame on those people. They really aren't Christians after all. It would be those Christians that should pray the most for his recovery, if for no other reason than then they could say "see, God does exist and healed you".
These would would be the folks that I would see in category two "those who want him to become a believer". What better way to try to convert him than having a special day set aside to do nothing but pray for his heath. If he gets better, than maybe he'll see the light and believe all those prayers were answered. Or would he? That is the question I'm pondering. Would an atheist such as himself ever be able to believe that God answered those prayers or would it be all a coincidence. Knowing you had so many people praying for you to recover, and you do when all odds are against it... would that open your heart to believing? And, would God really answer those prayers for the sole purpose of hoping for that conversion, or would God really let him suffer based on his previous actions? All good questions that can generate a lot of conversation, but possibly not any useful answers from people. You'd never know what could have been done with a conversion, until a person is healed and then actually willing to consider something other than coincidence. It would be that category three "praying for healing" that would have to have some good consideration were that to happen for him.
One interesting comment in the article, was " It's that third group _ people who are asking God for Hitchens' healing _ that causes Hitchens to choose his words even more carefully than normal. Are those prayers OK? Are they helpful? "I say it's fine by me, I think of it as a nice gesture. And it may well make them feel better, which is a good thing in itself," says Hitchens.
That response is something I'm familiar with in my own life having a man in my life who is an atheist. When Tim went through his brain tumor surgery three years ago, we knew at the time it wasn't life threatening (meaning it wasn't cancerous). But Tim received many many prayers for him to come through it all safely, prayers for myself and his family, etc. And, he was very appreciative of those prayers. It touched him that people would take the time to pray for him, even though it isn't something he believes in or would do himself. He knows that prayers mean something to others and is an important part of their lives and he is very respectful of that. He believes that in that context, it is good for everyone. For those praying for him that they feel like they are doing something for him, and for himself, it was touching that they cared enough about him to pray for him. I am not at all comparing him to Hitchens in any way other than that they are self proclaimed atheists. Trust me, Tim is way more respectful than I've ever found Hitchens to be about other peoples belief systems. I'm just saying that maybe there are those out there that are lumping all Atheists into the same broad brush as they are currently trying to lump all Muslims. Atheists come in all levels of their dis-belief system the same way believers come in all levels. Some are very very extreme on both sides. Others are very very respectful. It's all in how you go about it.
So, as the Christian that I am and hope to show to others, I would most definitely pray for Christopher Hitchens. Not to prove a point to him that God will answer my prayers and certainly not to pray for him to die. I will pray for him because it's not only the Christian thing to do to pray for those suffering, but it's the right thing to do as a human being for someone who is suffering. After all, if you don't like him, at least think of what his family and his children are going through with the thought of losing their husband, son, sibling, father. It's very simply, the right thing to do.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Longing for the old, but ringing in the new
I'm not entirely sure what's going on in my head today. Maybe I'm just missing my girls as they are on vacation with their father and completely out of pocket. Being this out of touch is something I'm not used to, especially with my youngest. She's always in touch... mostly because she's forgotten something she needs me to do or bring to her when she's not with me, or asking if she can make plans for when she is here, but it makes me feel like she just misses me somehow :) But today, I'm feeling a bit torn in my thoughts.
I'm feeling a bit nostalgic for the old days. The days when they were little and wanted to be doing more family stuff. The days where I watched Jennifer do "gymnastics" on the log at her dad's families cottage where she jumped 6 inches off the log and did the "arms in air" pose of the Olympians when they were done with their routine while she shouted "ta da". Or when she and I would sing her favorite Disney movie songs... I would sing the beginning of each sentence and leave out the last word and she'd fill it in. We did that for years. I'm remembering the days where my Lauren had "her dance" that was the cutest thing ever (don't know how she got so low to the ground). When she cheered at 7 years old after much "discussion" to be able to be on the team. Her Dad didn't really want her to do it as the games were on Sunday mornings and she'd miss church. I assured him that if she was that close to God, she'd still be if she missed some Sundays during football season (and God likely would love that she was using the talents he gave her). After that first "win" in a big competition, she threw her arms around me and thanked me for fighting for her to be able to cheer. I saw that "hooked" look at that very moment. Who knew then I'd still be at every game and competition 7 years later.
You see, I just can't imagine having missed any of those little moments. For some reason today, they are just coming back to me in floods and with tears in my eyes even as I type this. You can never re-create moments like that. You can just cherish them enough that they live on in your memory forever (and I don't doubt that they will). Just thinking about some of those things can bring me right back to the thoughts and feelings I had when they were going on the first time. I can hear the sweet little voices like it was yesterday. There are times I wish it was. However, missing those times does not mean for a minute that I don't like the current state.
Yeah, they don't tend to do as much "family" stuff as friends are their life now. And I'm the kind of Mom that really is ok with that. As the kids age, it really does make you realize that it's not the quantity of time you get to spend with them, it really is the quality. We may not do the same kinds of things we did before, but just being around them and observing the lovely ladies they are turning out to be, is amazing in it's own right. I've spent the last year watching Jen go through the good and bad parts of college searching, learning to drive, having great fun with her friends and I realize that this is the last year I'll see all of that. After this year (her senior year), she'll go through most things while away at college. Sure, cell phones and Facebook make it much easier to stay connected, but the simple observations will start to be lost to me. The notion of watching her interact with her friends and determining her personality based on that, will not be an every day task as it is now. Lauren is going into high school, which begins a new phase of sorts for her as well. There is still much time to have her determine the woman she'll be by the time she goes away to college, and much room to grow in other areas. I know that I'll love the new phases of their lives as much as I've loved the past phases. It'll just get harder to see the steps involved along the way in their journey.
In remembering all the little things today, and dreaming of their futures, one thing remains... it has been SO great to be their mother. I wouldn't trade one single part of it for anything in the world. They have made me happy, sad, frustrated at times, exhausted, frightened and every other emotion you could think of. But always, they've made me proud. Here's looking forward to what's in store for their futures. Now... if only I could figure out why all of this is in my head today. Oh well, going down memory lane about my girls is never a bad thing. I'll just enjoy the ride...
I'm feeling a bit nostalgic for the old days. The days when they were little and wanted to be doing more family stuff. The days where I watched Jennifer do "gymnastics" on the log at her dad's families cottage where she jumped 6 inches off the log and did the "arms in air" pose of the Olympians when they were done with their routine while she shouted "ta da". Or when she and I would sing her favorite Disney movie songs... I would sing the beginning of each sentence and leave out the last word and she'd fill it in. We did that for years. I'm remembering the days where my Lauren had "her dance" that was the cutest thing ever (don't know how she got so low to the ground). When she cheered at 7 years old after much "discussion" to be able to be on the team. Her Dad didn't really want her to do it as the games were on Sunday mornings and she'd miss church. I assured him that if she was that close to God, she'd still be if she missed some Sundays during football season (and God likely would love that she was using the talents he gave her). After that first "win" in a big competition, she threw her arms around me and thanked me for fighting for her to be able to cheer. I saw that "hooked" look at that very moment. Who knew then I'd still be at every game and competition 7 years later.
You see, I just can't imagine having missed any of those little moments. For some reason today, they are just coming back to me in floods and with tears in my eyes even as I type this. You can never re-create moments like that. You can just cherish them enough that they live on in your memory forever (and I don't doubt that they will). Just thinking about some of those things can bring me right back to the thoughts and feelings I had when they were going on the first time. I can hear the sweet little voices like it was yesterday. There are times I wish it was. However, missing those times does not mean for a minute that I don't like the current state.
Yeah, they don't tend to do as much "family" stuff as friends are their life now. And I'm the kind of Mom that really is ok with that. As the kids age, it really does make you realize that it's not the quantity of time you get to spend with them, it really is the quality. We may not do the same kinds of things we did before, but just being around them and observing the lovely ladies they are turning out to be, is amazing in it's own right. I've spent the last year watching Jen go through the good and bad parts of college searching, learning to drive, having great fun with her friends and I realize that this is the last year I'll see all of that. After this year (her senior year), she'll go through most things while away at college. Sure, cell phones and Facebook make it much easier to stay connected, but the simple observations will start to be lost to me. The notion of watching her interact with her friends and determining her personality based on that, will not be an every day task as it is now. Lauren is going into high school, which begins a new phase of sorts for her as well. There is still much time to have her determine the woman she'll be by the time she goes away to college, and much room to grow in other areas. I know that I'll love the new phases of their lives as much as I've loved the past phases. It'll just get harder to see the steps involved along the way in their journey.
In remembering all the little things today, and dreaming of their futures, one thing remains... it has been SO great to be their mother. I wouldn't trade one single part of it for anything in the world. They have made me happy, sad, frustrated at times, exhausted, frightened and every other emotion you could think of. But always, they've made me proud. Here's looking forward to what's in store for their futures. Now... if only I could figure out why all of this is in my head today. Oh well, going down memory lane about my girls is never a bad thing. I'll just enjoy the ride...
Monday, August 2, 2010
Spam mail go away
Ok, I get why spam mail exists, even though I don't like it. I mean, there are those people that open all of it and ultimately buy stuff from it. I do NOT happen to be one of them. I try my best to keep up with marking spam mail as junk so that I don't have to see it. But lately, I just can't seem to keep up with it all. More importantly is how my spam mail has changed in the last few weeks. I mean, really, is someone playing games with me??? I've about had my fill of eHarmony, match.com, etc coming into my in-box. Someone obviously doesn't know me very well or they'd know that I'd NEVER go on one of those sites as I'm COMPLETELY happy with my current relationship status. And WHY would you ever go on one of those sites if you were in a happy and committed relationship??? Unless of course you have other issues and are just trying to make people think you are happy but are secretly prowling around... in which case that is a very different issue all together... but I digress.
And, just in case I'm not happy and want to be on these dating sites... which I don't... my spam mail can make me feel badly that I'm now reaching my more middle-aged years (as if I didn't know that already). I'm getting AARP mail much more than I'd like to think I deserve (I say as I'm having a day that is more pain free than some of mine recently have been). I'm sensing some sort of pattern in my in box lately which I'm not too thrilled about... I'm OLD (AARP) and therefore should be unhappy with my current relationship and looking for another one (dating sites).
Trust me... I didn't sign up for any of these emails. I'm feeling pretty young (at least today I am) and I'm very happily committed to Tim EVERY DAY. So... SPAM MAIL... LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY :( Geez...
And, just in case I'm not happy and want to be on these dating sites... which I don't... my spam mail can make me feel badly that I'm now reaching my more middle-aged years (as if I didn't know that already). I'm getting AARP mail much more than I'd like to think I deserve (I say as I'm having a day that is more pain free than some of mine recently have been). I'm sensing some sort of pattern in my in box lately which I'm not too thrilled about... I'm OLD (AARP) and therefore should be unhappy with my current relationship and looking for another one (dating sites).
Trust me... I didn't sign up for any of these emails. I'm feeling pretty young (at least today I am) and I'm very happily committed to Tim EVERY DAY. So... SPAM MAIL... LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY :( Geez...
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
How I put things into perspective...
I don't usually write things about myself and especially about any medical things I might have going on. However, in the past month, I've been suffering a bit with a hand (or more accurately thumb) injury. Luckily this has been with my left hand, and I'm right handed so I was pretty sure it wouldn't be any big issue. I quickly realized how much one actually uses their non-dominant hand and especially how important the thumb actually is. Previously, I never thought much about how I open jars, how I hold things or even how I get dressed until their is searing pain when trying to do these simple tasks. And forget about that barbell class I love so much at Golds Gym. Not happening for a while. Long story short is I had 2 cortisone shots today in two different tendons and found out a have a small bone spur where my thumb connects into its socket. Even with all the numbing spray they put on me prior to the shots, they were quite uncomfortable. The good news is immediately I could move my thumb without pain. Ok, so they told me not to get to used to that as it was only because I couldn't actually FEEL my hand and once that wore off, I'd have feeling I didn't want. Boy were they right. It's pretty sore right now from the shots. I'll be patient waiting for the effects of it to kick in and hopefully, this will be a cure, not just a starting point. One can be hopeful.
Having told my story, I've been spending some time tonight thinking about how the last month has been kind of strange with compensating for the injury and the pain itself, but in doing that thinking, I realized that the reason I don't talk much about any injuries of my own, is that as soon as I start thinking about it, I can always find someone else to turn my attention too, and that's what happened tonight as well.
Tonight, I was reminded (maybe brought on by a FB post of Tim's a couple days ago), that in August it will be the 3 year anniversary of Tim's brain tumor surgery. It was such a long road for him and clearly the toughest thing I've been through with someone medically since my father passed away (which is coming up on 10 years ago on July 27th). Tim was an amazing person through it all, at times being more worried about me and his family and what it was doing to all of us, than he was worried for himself. I thought what he went through was such a big deal that clearly we'll be done with big medical issues for a long time after that one.
However (and I'll keep specific names out of it for their privacy), since Tim's surgery, one of my very dear girlfriends found herself in a scare that ended up being Ovarian Cancer, which she luckily caught early. She was the first person I was close with that had Cancer, and oh by the way, she's younger than I am. This just shouldn't happen. And within the last year, 2 immensely important people to me that I consider not only my family, but among the best people I've ever known, were also diagnosed with different types of Cancer.
The range of emotions that everyone involved goes through with all these four medical issues is more than I can even do justice to in writing. But through it all, all four of these people have had tremendous support from loving families and friends... and that's what it's really all about. I would be there for anything any of them ever needed and the feelings that I have for ALL of them are so strong, that nothing else matters. That is how we put things into perspective and those are the types of people that deserve to have NOT gone through any of their medical troubles. So for me, putting things into perspective isn't focusing on "there is always someone worse off than me" but rather focusing on "What can I do to make it easier for them"... even if that means just being there to listen if they want to talk about it, or just make them laugh about anything so they have something else to think about even if just for a short time.
To all 4 of you (you know who you are)... I love you more than you'll ever know. And if you ever need anything, I'm right there for you... always.
Having told my story, I've been spending some time tonight thinking about how the last month has been kind of strange with compensating for the injury and the pain itself, but in doing that thinking, I realized that the reason I don't talk much about any injuries of my own, is that as soon as I start thinking about it, I can always find someone else to turn my attention too, and that's what happened tonight as well.
Tonight, I was reminded (maybe brought on by a FB post of Tim's a couple days ago), that in August it will be the 3 year anniversary of Tim's brain tumor surgery. It was such a long road for him and clearly the toughest thing I've been through with someone medically since my father passed away (which is coming up on 10 years ago on July 27th). Tim was an amazing person through it all, at times being more worried about me and his family and what it was doing to all of us, than he was worried for himself. I thought what he went through was such a big deal that clearly we'll be done with big medical issues for a long time after that one.
However (and I'll keep specific names out of it for their privacy), since Tim's surgery, one of my very dear girlfriends found herself in a scare that ended up being Ovarian Cancer, which she luckily caught early. She was the first person I was close with that had Cancer, and oh by the way, she's younger than I am. This just shouldn't happen. And within the last year, 2 immensely important people to me that I consider not only my family, but among the best people I've ever known, were also diagnosed with different types of Cancer.
The range of emotions that everyone involved goes through with all these four medical issues is more than I can even do justice to in writing. But through it all, all four of these people have had tremendous support from loving families and friends... and that's what it's really all about. I would be there for anything any of them ever needed and the feelings that I have for ALL of them are so strong, that nothing else matters. That is how we put things into perspective and those are the types of people that deserve to have NOT gone through any of their medical troubles. So for me, putting things into perspective isn't focusing on "there is always someone worse off than me" but rather focusing on "What can I do to make it easier for them"... even if that means just being there to listen if they want to talk about it, or just make them laugh about anything so they have something else to think about even if just for a short time.
To all 4 of you (you know who you are)... I love you more than you'll ever know. And if you ever need anything, I'm right there for you... always.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
It Must Be Love
For those that know me already, you know that I feel I have a terrific man in my life. Very caring, respectful, loving, intelligent, etc. Although we've been together for a little over 7 years now, I never realized just how much this man loved me until the last few months. You must understand, he is many things, but a sports enthusiast, he is not. He's knows them, has played them, but he is simply not a watcher of sports. Trust me, I REALLY love that during football season as I'm not abandoned every Sunday all day. In fact, he'd gladly do anything else I'd rather do on a Sunday during the winter months than sit in front of a football game... with the exception of the Superbowl... and only then, it's because there is usually a party that involves large amounts of food and beer.
However, for the last few months, he's endured my completely LOVE of the NBA, and more importantly, my very favorite CELTICS!!! They have been my team for as long as I can remember. I watched nearly every game when I still lived at home with my parents, with my Dad, who was also a huge fan. We went thru the whole Larry Bird years (the good as well as the not so good when he was at the end of his career and injured more often than not). I taught a couple of my sisters sons every rule of the game when they were little and watched with me and their grandpa. Her youngest spent one entire game asking me who won with each basket he saw made in the game. I told him on several occasions that I would tell him who won when it was really over, but that did not deter him from asking. It was just my luck that the particular game in which this occurred went into triple over time. But he was maybe 5 years old at the time, so it was hard to be upset. It was more cool that he was even asking the questions... however long of a night it turned out to be :) But I digress... now back to Tim.
He always knew how much I loved basketball. I even get a bit crazy at the JV games my daughter cheers for. He knew how happy I was when the Celtics won the Championship in 2008, but he never had to watch a game with me. This year, no one expected the C's to make it as far as they did. They started off their season with a bang, but last half of it, there were a lot of injuries and a lot of losses. The coach said he'd be happy if they were 4th of 5th in their division, and that's exactly where they ended up. But, they made the playoffs. And Tim made (depending on how you look at it) either his first mistake, or his first sign of showing me the love. He told me I could come watch one of the games on his new 46" TV, and he stuck around to watch with me.
No one expected them to get past the first round (and I think after Tim witnessed me watching a game, he might have been hopeful they wouldn't either). Orlando Magic was supposed to be too tough... but they blew past them. Then the Cavaliers were going to be completely unattainable... again, they took the series from them as well. Tim now knows first hand that when I get nervous at the end of a close game, no matter how big the TV screen is, I am now standing in front of it almost nose-to-nose with the players. He's heard me yell at officials who make horrendous calls, he's heard me call players pet names very loudly as if I'm the actual announcer at the stadium (which by the way would be very cool), and he's seen me decked out in more Celtics huge clothing than any guy should have to endure their lady wearing. And through it all, I think I wore off on him a bit.
My Celtics won the Eastern Conference Championship and are once again, playing the Lakers for the NBA Title. Tim and I haven't been able to be together in the same room for some of the games, but he's now watching even without me. He's texting me during the games to say something was a bad call or that someone made a good play. He knows the players names and how well they are doing in the game. He's even yelling at officials via text to me. At one point the funniest exchange from him was a text that said...
"you're going to make me miss The Daily Show aren't you". I assured him it wasn't my fault he couldn't turn the channel on his TV, and told him I was surprised that he was still watching the game. His reply was "my baby's boys are fighting for survival". Too funny. I got him. I even told him if he wasn't careful I'd have to buy him some Celtic Green to wear. His reply "I like Green".
So, tonight is Game 6 of the Finals. My team is up 3 to 2. We are playing on the road in LA. If we win tonight, it's over and we are Champions for the 18th time. If not, there is a game 7 (also in LA) where it could be tough as both these teams always want the win and will fight hard for it. Of course I want the win really bad (and tonight would be the best time to get it). But even if my TEAM doesn't win, I know that my TIM must really love me to have hung in there this long with me, and even seemed to enjoy parts of it. Thanks babe... I love you too!!!
However, for the last few months, he's endured my completely LOVE of the NBA, and more importantly, my very favorite CELTICS!!! They have been my team for as long as I can remember. I watched nearly every game when I still lived at home with my parents, with my Dad, who was also a huge fan. We went thru the whole Larry Bird years (the good as well as the not so good when he was at the end of his career and injured more often than not). I taught a couple of my sisters sons every rule of the game when they were little and watched with me and their grandpa. Her youngest spent one entire game asking me who won with each basket he saw made in the game. I told him on several occasions that I would tell him who won when it was really over, but that did not deter him from asking. It was just my luck that the particular game in which this occurred went into triple over time. But he was maybe 5 years old at the time, so it was hard to be upset. It was more cool that he was even asking the questions... however long of a night it turned out to be :) But I digress... now back to Tim.
He always knew how much I loved basketball. I even get a bit crazy at the JV games my daughter cheers for. He knew how happy I was when the Celtics won the Championship in 2008, but he never had to watch a game with me. This year, no one expected the C's to make it as far as they did. They started off their season with a bang, but last half of it, there were a lot of injuries and a lot of losses. The coach said he'd be happy if they were 4th of 5th in their division, and that's exactly where they ended up. But, they made the playoffs. And Tim made (depending on how you look at it) either his first mistake, or his first sign of showing me the love. He told me I could come watch one of the games on his new 46" TV, and he stuck around to watch with me.
No one expected them to get past the first round (and I think after Tim witnessed me watching a game, he might have been hopeful they wouldn't either). Orlando Magic was supposed to be too tough... but they blew past them. Then the Cavaliers were going to be completely unattainable... again, they took the series from them as well. Tim now knows first hand that when I get nervous at the end of a close game, no matter how big the TV screen is, I am now standing in front of it almost nose-to-nose with the players. He's heard me yell at officials who make horrendous calls, he's heard me call players pet names very loudly as if I'm the actual announcer at the stadium (which by the way would be very cool), and he's seen me decked out in more Celtics huge clothing than any guy should have to endure their lady wearing. And through it all, I think I wore off on him a bit.
My Celtics won the Eastern Conference Championship and are once again, playing the Lakers for the NBA Title. Tim and I haven't been able to be together in the same room for some of the games, but he's now watching even without me. He's texting me during the games to say something was a bad call or that someone made a good play. He knows the players names and how well they are doing in the game. He's even yelling at officials via text to me. At one point the funniest exchange from him was a text that said...
"you're going to make me miss The Daily Show aren't you". I assured him it wasn't my fault he couldn't turn the channel on his TV, and told him I was surprised that he was still watching the game. His reply was "my baby's boys are fighting for survival". Too funny. I got him. I even told him if he wasn't careful I'd have to buy him some Celtic Green to wear. His reply "I like Green".
So, tonight is Game 6 of the Finals. My team is up 3 to 2. We are playing on the road in LA. If we win tonight, it's over and we are Champions for the 18th time. If not, there is a game 7 (also in LA) where it could be tough as both these teams always want the win and will fight hard for it. Of course I want the win really bad (and tonight would be the best time to get it). But even if my TEAM doesn't win, I know that my TIM must really love me to have hung in there this long with me, and even seemed to enjoy parts of it. Thanks babe... I love you too!!!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Respect Given Where Due
I have always been a firm believer that respect must be earned, not simply guaranteed to anyone. Having said that, I also believe that people sometimes use the wrong term when they are telling people to "be respectful" towards someone. I think in that context, it should be amended to "be courteous".
My issue has always been that I've known FAR too many "adults" that believe kids should always respect them simply because they are adults. These same people, however, don't believe that they need to show that same respect towards kids... that somehow the kids don't deserve the same treatment. I find that to be sad. It's the "kids should be seen not heard" mentality that I never could understand. I wonder if some of that thinking comes from the fact that adults feel kids haven't been around long enough, or gone through enough of life's trials to have earned their respect. But time is not the only factor in whether or not someone should be respected. It's what they do with their time that matters.
I spent two night this week being a judge for Thomas High School Senior Project Presentations. This is the 3rd year I've participated and each night when I come home, it reminds me of why I think kids should be shown their due respect. There are some very intelligent kids out there, with very good ideas and passions around a wide variety of interests. Those kids, when done pursuing their passions, will become amazing contributing members of our society, and that fact should not be overlooked. In reality, most I've seen are already contributing to our local community in ways that many adults have no idea is happening.
Here is a sampling of topics from the presentations I've been able to see in the last two nights...
Volunteering at Hope House, which is a local organization helping those in need with food/clothing/basic needs. The presenter wants to continue with this volunteering even now that the project is over as she was so touched by the people that came in and never realized there was such a need for this kind of help in her own community.
Internship at a company that makes virtual reality gaming, and the presenter is pursuing a career in gaming design.
Project as a Chem Lab Tech for the school pursuing an Chemical Science career.
Internship at a local TV station with passion for the production side of radio/tv.
Internship with an Update NY Congressman, definite pursuit in politics, but the experience made her re-evaluate at what level of politics she wants to pursue.
Internship with an Assistant District Attorney, originally pursuing a career as a DA, but now is adding to her future goals. Based on having met a number of Judges she now hopes to be a Judge after her DA career.
Studying how to write successfully and based on this project, wrote a 45 page fictional story that was accepted as consideration for a final piece in a contest at University of Texas at Austin. If one of the top 10 selected during the final round, would be published. That's huge for someone that just started down this path.
And these were just some of the presentations. All these kids worked all year on their projects, which required a specific amount of out of school hours with their mentors, written proposals and presentations, as well as this final presentation in front of community members for grading. This work was done while juggling their class work, sports, jobs, as well as preparing for their college applications, etc.
While I reflect on my nights of judging their live presentations, I realize that these kids are our future, and I for one, will certainly remember to give them the respect they deserve for all their hard work.
My issue has always been that I've known FAR too many "adults" that believe kids should always respect them simply because they are adults. These same people, however, don't believe that they need to show that same respect towards kids... that somehow the kids don't deserve the same treatment. I find that to be sad. It's the "kids should be seen not heard" mentality that I never could understand. I wonder if some of that thinking comes from the fact that adults feel kids haven't been around long enough, or gone through enough of life's trials to have earned their respect. But time is not the only factor in whether or not someone should be respected. It's what they do with their time that matters.
I spent two night this week being a judge for Thomas High School Senior Project Presentations. This is the 3rd year I've participated and each night when I come home, it reminds me of why I think kids should be shown their due respect. There are some very intelligent kids out there, with very good ideas and passions around a wide variety of interests. Those kids, when done pursuing their passions, will become amazing contributing members of our society, and that fact should not be overlooked. In reality, most I've seen are already contributing to our local community in ways that many adults have no idea is happening.
Here is a sampling of topics from the presentations I've been able to see in the last two nights...
Volunteering at Hope House, which is a local organization helping those in need with food/clothing/basic needs. The presenter wants to continue with this volunteering even now that the project is over as she was so touched by the people that came in and never realized there was such a need for this kind of help in her own community.
Internship at a company that makes virtual reality gaming, and the presenter is pursuing a career in gaming design.
Project as a Chem Lab Tech for the school pursuing an Chemical Science career.
Internship at a local TV station with passion for the production side of radio/tv.
Internship with an Update NY Congressman, definite pursuit in politics, but the experience made her re-evaluate at what level of politics she wants to pursue.
Internship with an Assistant District Attorney, originally pursuing a career as a DA, but now is adding to her future goals. Based on having met a number of Judges she now hopes to be a Judge after her DA career.
Studying how to write successfully and based on this project, wrote a 45 page fictional story that was accepted as consideration for a final piece in a contest at University of Texas at Austin. If one of the top 10 selected during the final round, would be published. That's huge for someone that just started down this path.
And these were just some of the presentations. All these kids worked all year on their projects, which required a specific amount of out of school hours with their mentors, written proposals and presentations, as well as this final presentation in front of community members for grading. This work was done while juggling their class work, sports, jobs, as well as preparing for their college applications, etc.
While I reflect on my nights of judging their live presentations, I realize that these kids are our future, and I for one, will certainly remember to give them the respect they deserve for all their hard work.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me
The above saying is one that I've heard so many times in my life and have always believed was absolutely true. And upon hearing it again recently, it brought me to my question of the day which follows later in the blog. If you can fool or manipulate me one time, you've done something not many can do because I'm pretty good at reading people and their motives for what they do. However, I can't say it makes you a very good person for even trying to manipulate people and/or situations in the first place. Then, if you can do it to me again, I'm an idiot. And that, I'm not. I catch on REAL fast to people. In my past life, there were those that hated the notion that I was that in tune to my feelings about people. Mostly the people that hated that about me was because they found out in the end that I was right. It just took them a little longer to get to that end game than it did me.
When I say I could sense things pretty quickly, that didn't make me change my behavior towards the person in general. I would always be polite and helpful if I could or the opportunity arose. Where the issue came, was that I couldn't respect them for their deceitful manipulative ways, and I couldn't trust them from then on. Once trust is gone for me, it's gone and almost impossible to regain. If I love a person, I'll give them the best shot, but if they are not someone in my life, but have done something to manipulate me or a situation that I'm involved with, all bets are off. The issue then is that EVERYTHING they do in the future is suspect to me and comes with me believing they are trying to manipulate something again. I will then ALWAYS be on the watch for it so that people I do care about, don't get hurt. The "mama bear" comes out in me for all people I care about.
So, the question is where do you go when you are in a position of highly suspecting that manipulation is happening, but not in a position of speaking openly about it? How do you handle situations that are so fragile that speaking up will only be turned around on you due to the other parties manipulation tactics? It's such a curious dilemma. I try to bring my kids up to be trustful of people, but also hope that they are not so trustful that they don't realize things are happening around them. I've asked them what they would do if they overheard a conversation about someone that the just didn't believe at all... or was outright told something about someone they didn't believe. Would they question the person doing the talking? would they confront the person that was being talked about? Far too often others just overhear and ignore, or worse yet pass the story on... or maybe even worse yet believe it and have it change their minds about someone without all the real facts.
I haven't always been a big believer of confrontation, but based on my life and things that have happened in it, I'm now a big believer of confronting people. If that can help clear up an misunderstanding, then great. I think most people would say "just get rid of those doing it". But what if you can't? What if you can't for fear the retribution will just bring more manipulation? Maybe that's when you have to start believing in Karma. Either way, why can't people just be honest and upfront about their intentions. Let people know exactly what it is they are trying to get out of their manipulations and put it out on the table. It takes great character for people to be honest. I wish more people had that kind of great character.
When I say I could sense things pretty quickly, that didn't make me change my behavior towards the person in general. I would always be polite and helpful if I could or the opportunity arose. Where the issue came, was that I couldn't respect them for their deceitful manipulative ways, and I couldn't trust them from then on. Once trust is gone for me, it's gone and almost impossible to regain. If I love a person, I'll give them the best shot, but if they are not someone in my life, but have done something to manipulate me or a situation that I'm involved with, all bets are off. The issue then is that EVERYTHING they do in the future is suspect to me and comes with me believing they are trying to manipulate something again. I will then ALWAYS be on the watch for it so that people I do care about, don't get hurt. The "mama bear" comes out in me for all people I care about.
So, the question is where do you go when you are in a position of highly suspecting that manipulation is happening, but not in a position of speaking openly about it? How do you handle situations that are so fragile that speaking up will only be turned around on you due to the other parties manipulation tactics? It's such a curious dilemma. I try to bring my kids up to be trustful of people, but also hope that they are not so trustful that they don't realize things are happening around them. I've asked them what they would do if they overheard a conversation about someone that the just didn't believe at all... or was outright told something about someone they didn't believe. Would they question the person doing the talking? would they confront the person that was being talked about? Far too often others just overhear and ignore, or worse yet pass the story on... or maybe even worse yet believe it and have it change their minds about someone without all the real facts.
I haven't always been a big believer of confrontation, but based on my life and things that have happened in it, I'm now a big believer of confronting people. If that can help clear up an misunderstanding, then great. I think most people would say "just get rid of those doing it". But what if you can't? What if you can't for fear the retribution will just bring more manipulation? Maybe that's when you have to start believing in Karma. Either way, why can't people just be honest and upfront about their intentions. Let people know exactly what it is they are trying to get out of their manipulations and put it out on the table. It takes great character for people to be honest. I wish more people had that kind of great character.
Church generalizations and headaches
Wow, has it really been this long since I've blogged anything. Trust me, it's not for lack of interesting events in my life, rather maybe my lack of blogs are in spite of all that's been going on for me. Best not to discuss some of it. But today, I think this is going to be one of my typical "I just don't get it" pieces.
I attended church today and the normal pastor was away. But not to fear, there was a guest speaker that was very entertaining... more about that later. First, there was a very brief mention of the fact that all the churches all over the country were praying together for God's Kingdom and for leadership in this week of National Prayer Day... which is on Thursday for those that don't know already. National Prayer Day in itself was great to hear mentioned as so much has been made lately of the fact that President Obama was trying to abolish National Prayer Day, which is completely false. But I digress.
My issue was not at all that all churches were praying together as I think that's great. The more the merrier. My concern today was with a specific statement that was made by the pastor (again not the normal one) that "our freedoms are slowing slipping away from us and that we need to all pray that our leaders of the country WILL FIND God and come to him for help". My concern isn't that our leaders would know God and have a relationship with him, but that this pastor assumed that they don't already KNOW or have a relationship with Him. The pastor doesn't know if that's the case, and it's generalizations like that, about many topics, that tick me off so much. Forget the fact that preaching about our freedoms being taken away seems like a move out of the fear play book, but I don't like it when people so simply lump people into categories that they don't even know are remotely accurate. I've been lumped with people that "aren't doing their belief correctly" because I don't like the hypocricy of many supposed Christians I've met and have to deal with in my life, when oddly I think the fact that the notion that I hate the hypocricy and intolerance of so many, means I actually do get and live by what Jesus teachings were all about. Anyway, it's just very disappointing for me to hear these kinds of things, and some times, I just need to rant about it.
On the plus side, once I was annoyed, the guest speaker came up. He was a very FUNNY man... and by funny I mean humorous. The kind of speaker that keeps you engaged and caring what he will say next. However, it was all in how he said it that hurt a little. When I say hurt, it wasn't emotionally, it was physically. He had that TV Evangelist voice, but a bit louder and he spoke so quickly it hurt my head to try to keep up with what he was saying. As a little background on me specifically, I'm a bit OCD as many people know. My brain really has trouble staying engaged in only one thing so typically in church, I need to doodle while the sermon is going on. Most people who see that probably think I'm board and don't care what's being said. It's actually quite the opposite. I doodle because it helps me pay attention to what is being said so much easier because it's not the only thing I'm doing... my mind won't wander if I'm engaged in something else at the same time. But today, the guest speaker talked so fast with so much being said, that I couldn't even doodle as I couldn't concentrate on his first sentence before he was into the 3rd on the topic. And it was amusing me that I couldn't keep up. Even my girls were kind of giggling just listening to him ... but it certainly kept them engaged too. Another particular funny part of it that struck me is that my ex-husband used to always say he couldn't fight with me because he couldn't keep up. I could always think of what I needed to say in about 1/2 of a second and he said he couldn't think of things until the next day to reply to them. That's how I was feeling in church today. So, all in all, I was very entertained. I think the message he was giving was good, but I think I missed every 3rd sentence of it. I'd love to get my hands on a tape of the sermon and see if I could play it in slow motion :)
I attended church today and the normal pastor was away. But not to fear, there was a guest speaker that was very entertaining... more about that later. First, there was a very brief mention of the fact that all the churches all over the country were praying together for God's Kingdom and for leadership in this week of National Prayer Day... which is on Thursday for those that don't know already. National Prayer Day in itself was great to hear mentioned as so much has been made lately of the fact that President Obama was trying to abolish National Prayer Day, which is completely false. But I digress.
My issue was not at all that all churches were praying together as I think that's great. The more the merrier. My concern today was with a specific statement that was made by the pastor (again not the normal one) that "our freedoms are slowing slipping away from us and that we need to all pray that our leaders of the country WILL FIND God and come to him for help". My concern isn't that our leaders would know God and have a relationship with him, but that this pastor assumed that they don't already KNOW or have a relationship with Him. The pastor doesn't know if that's the case, and it's generalizations like that, about many topics, that tick me off so much. Forget the fact that preaching about our freedoms being taken away seems like a move out of the fear play book, but I don't like it when people so simply lump people into categories that they don't even know are remotely accurate. I've been lumped with people that "aren't doing their belief correctly" because I don't like the hypocricy of many supposed Christians I've met and have to deal with in my life, when oddly I think the fact that the notion that I hate the hypocricy and intolerance of so many, means I actually do get and live by what Jesus teachings were all about. Anyway, it's just very disappointing for me to hear these kinds of things, and some times, I just need to rant about it.
On the plus side, once I was annoyed, the guest speaker came up. He was a very FUNNY man... and by funny I mean humorous. The kind of speaker that keeps you engaged and caring what he will say next. However, it was all in how he said it that hurt a little. When I say hurt, it wasn't emotionally, it was physically. He had that TV Evangelist voice, but a bit louder and he spoke so quickly it hurt my head to try to keep up with what he was saying. As a little background on me specifically, I'm a bit OCD as many people know. My brain really has trouble staying engaged in only one thing so typically in church, I need to doodle while the sermon is going on. Most people who see that probably think I'm board and don't care what's being said. It's actually quite the opposite. I doodle because it helps me pay attention to what is being said so much easier because it's not the only thing I'm doing... my mind won't wander if I'm engaged in something else at the same time. But today, the guest speaker talked so fast with so much being said, that I couldn't even doodle as I couldn't concentrate on his first sentence before he was into the 3rd on the topic. And it was amusing me that I couldn't keep up. Even my girls were kind of giggling just listening to him ... but it certainly kept them engaged too. Another particular funny part of it that struck me is that my ex-husband used to always say he couldn't fight with me because he couldn't keep up. I could always think of what I needed to say in about 1/2 of a second and he said he couldn't think of things until the next day to reply to them. That's how I was feeling in church today. So, all in all, I was very entertained. I think the message he was giving was good, but I think I missed every 3rd sentence of it. I'd love to get my hands on a tape of the sermon and see if I could play it in slow motion :)
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Life is good...
I don't think too many people actually have saved the URL to my blog since it posts over to Facebook, and I'm pretty sure that's where people are reading. But just in case, please note that the URL has changed. If you have by chance saved it, or have an RSS feed to it, please be sure to update it. It is now found at http://kimborlea.blogspot.com/
So, I spent the day Friday at the mall with various groups of people. I drove Jennifer and 3 of her friends so they could start "looking" for prom dresses. Lauren had stayed over her friend Nicole's house and Nicole's mom (Lori) drove them to the mall to meet up with us and shop. Lori and I... we just got to hang out together and eat lunch, wait for them to need us (yeah right...) and wait for them to need rides home.
Anyway, I arrived at the mall with my group first and when Lauren showed up with Lori/Nicole, she came right up, gave me a hug and said "you look pretty". Yes... that is my 13 year old I'm talking about. And... first time out shopping, Jennifer did find an absolutely beautiful prom dress, which I saved a significant amount of money on too. Life is good...
So, I spent the day Friday at the mall with various groups of people. I drove Jennifer and 3 of her friends so they could start "looking" for prom dresses. Lauren had stayed over her friend Nicole's house and Nicole's mom (Lori) drove them to the mall to meet up with us and shop. Lori and I... we just got to hang out together and eat lunch, wait for them to need us (yeah right...) and wait for them to need rides home.
Anyway, I arrived at the mall with my group first and when Lauren showed up with Lori/Nicole, she came right up, gave me a hug and said "you look pretty". Yes... that is my 13 year old I'm talking about. And... first time out shopping, Jennifer did find an absolutely beautiful prom dress, which I saved a significant amount of money on too. Life is good...
Thursday, January 21, 2010
How to catch a fly
I was inspired recently by one of my FB friends. In her blog (Thank you Patty), she had decided to write about "little life lessons". Her first one was about re-filling the toilet paper roll, which I found very funny. But it made me think of this little lesson that I've tried to teach my girls since they were little. However, thinking of it made me realize, it isn't just kids that could benefit from it. It could carry much further than that. There are always people at any age, than can learn from a little life lesson. x
I remember growing up hearing the saying "you can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar". Of course, when I was younger, my only thought around that was why would I want to catch flies anyway. However, it's a phrase now that is easy to figure out. I've mentioned it to my girls in their earlier years, however without the fly part... just in real words that this generation can understand. I've always let them know that their chances of getting me to do what they want or need is always better if they asked nicely. They certainly get that now... maybe too much sometimes. If the real sugar sweet "mommy" voice comes out, my first instinct is "what do you want". But at least at their young ages, they do get the concept.
I've been thinking a lot about this lately and I feel it dove tails a bit to a pet peeve of mine with society today... specifically in schools where we give ribbons and awards for participation so that no one feels left out. Or taking away Valedictorians from schools so those that don't get the honor, don't feel bad. Life is about feeling good and bad sometimes. It's also about how you handle both of those things. You need to learn to win graciously, and loose with dignity (sportsmanship at its finest). But even better than the winning and loosing end points, is what happens in between. While your working towards that goal or win, you need to feel good about what you are trying to accomplish. You need to hear the positive and negative about how you are doing working towards that goal. If all you hear is the negative, what inspires you to work harder? Conversely, if all you hear is the positive, how do you handle the loss if you can't understand why you lost? So there should be a balance in what people are told to manage their expectations. Neither all positive or all negative are good for anyone... it either builds them up too much (example: we have to endure very bad auditions while watching American Idol and the people say their parents told them how great they were their whole life), or we tear them down so much that we are enduring far too many depressed people because they don't believe they have much self-worth. Where is the middle ground for our kids to learn from today? Who's responsibility is it to teach them that middle ground? I believe it doesn't just lay within the parents boundary... it's everyone that has a role in being a leader... in kids, at the work place, everywhere. The point isn't to baby our kids, or co-workers as they need to learn to get along in the real world. The point also isn't to tear them down. The point is to give them real feedback... constructive feedback so that they have real expectations in life. If they have that given to them, they'll pay it forward and give it to future generations.
Or maybe I should just really start using the old fashioned phrase "you can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar" to everyone I come in contact with, and hope it catches on somehow. If we're told the positive along with the negative... it makes us work that much harder on the bigger picture. We must ALL learn that simple lesson. It does work.
I remember growing up hearing the saying "you can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar". Of course, when I was younger, my only thought around that was why would I want to catch flies anyway. However, it's a phrase now that is easy to figure out. I've mentioned it to my girls in their earlier years, however without the fly part... just in real words that this generation can understand. I've always let them know that their chances of getting me to do what they want or need is always better if they asked nicely. They certainly get that now... maybe too much sometimes. If the real sugar sweet "mommy" voice comes out, my first instinct is "what do you want". But at least at their young ages, they do get the concept.
I've been thinking a lot about this lately and I feel it dove tails a bit to a pet peeve of mine with society today... specifically in schools where we give ribbons and awards for participation so that no one feels left out. Or taking away Valedictorians from schools so those that don't get the honor, don't feel bad. Life is about feeling good and bad sometimes. It's also about how you handle both of those things. You need to learn to win graciously, and loose with dignity (sportsmanship at its finest). But even better than the winning and loosing end points, is what happens in between. While your working towards that goal or win, you need to feel good about what you are trying to accomplish. You need to hear the positive and negative about how you are doing working towards that goal. If all you hear is the negative, what inspires you to work harder? Conversely, if all you hear is the positive, how do you handle the loss if you can't understand why you lost? So there should be a balance in what people are told to manage their expectations. Neither all positive or all negative are good for anyone... it either builds them up too much (example: we have to endure very bad auditions while watching American Idol and the people say their parents told them how great they were their whole life), or we tear them down so much that we are enduring far too many depressed people because they don't believe they have much self-worth. Where is the middle ground for our kids to learn from today? Who's responsibility is it to teach them that middle ground? I believe it doesn't just lay within the parents boundary... it's everyone that has a role in being a leader... in kids, at the work place, everywhere. The point isn't to baby our kids, or co-workers as they need to learn to get along in the real world. The point also isn't to tear them down. The point is to give them real feedback... constructive feedback so that they have real expectations in life. If they have that given to them, they'll pay it forward and give it to future generations.
Or maybe I should just really start using the old fashioned phrase "you can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar" to everyone I come in contact with, and hope it catches on somehow. If we're told the positive along with the negative... it makes us work that much harder on the bigger picture. We must ALL learn that simple lesson. It does work.
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