Over the years of raising children and watching them grow, we as parents give a lot of advice. Some they take, some not so much. But always I wonder if the advice I’m giving as a parent is helpful or harmful in this day and age. As I’ve spent months debating this in my head, I believe that I’ve come to a couple conclusions. First, that of course, not everything works the same for every person or situation. And second, having been through many of the same situations I find my girls in at their current ages, and having lived a more varied life than they have yet to live, I still think some of these nuggets are sound for the younger crowd.
For anyone that has paid any attention to my blog or FB page, they’ve seen over and over a theme of respectful behavior. It’s something pretty important to me. I hate it when people that hold public office are not treated with respect, even if you don’t respect the person personally. I hate that people so easily lump people into categories based on what a few do that they don’t like. I hate that people call each other names, etc. All of that bothers me. And the strangest part about that is that I myself am not the kind of person that blanketly believes everyone deserves to be “respected”. I do, however, believe that you should treat all people with respect. I believe there is a difference in those two things, and I believe respect is earned, not guaranteed.
I remember being told at work early on in my career that I should respect the levels of management more . This happened because I didn’t stop an entire presentation in it’s logical order to answer a question that would have been answered more towards the end of my speech. A high level manager asked the question and apparently I should have just stopped where I was and answered it regardless of how far off track it took us. What I did was politely tell him that his question would be answered towards the end and would probably make more sense if we left it for later in the presentation. I guess that was the wrong approach, but the one that seemed the most logical to me based on the situation. Later when I was contemplating my way of handling it, I realized it was probably because of how I remember hearing from my dad “he puts his pants on one leg at a time just like you do” whenever topics like this came up when I was younger. To me that meant we were all the same. As long as you handled it respectfully, they weren’t any better than me just because they held a higher position.
So, if I took my queues from my father, does that mean my girls take them from me? Maybe. And if so, is it always appropriate. Here’s a couple things I’ve tried to instill in them.
I believe there is a line that should be drawn between them and people such as teachers, coaches, bosses, etc. I believe they should “be friendly” but not “friends” with those positional people. I believe there should be that boundry so that there is also a respectful relationship. If you’re ‘friends” that line can get blurred. If I look at the situation at their current ages, does that advice help or hurt them. Probably a little of both depending on the situation. However, if I project that advice out into their futures, I think I’m doing them a great service to spell it out for them now. When my little one started cheering at 7 years old, she was on a team where everyone else had cheered for a year before she got there. There were very clearly favorites among the teenage coaches and little girls. The parents could watch some girls being carried around by the coaches, always getting to hang out with them, etc. You could also watch other girls sitting in another group and the coaches not caring if they were there or not. Luckily, my girl was somewhere in the middle of those two extremes. However, she still cheers and would love to coach little ones. So for her future plans, and having seen those two extremes in her own young cheer career, my advice to her on the topic of drawing that line may help her NOT make any other little child feel bad, and I think that’s a good thing. On the flip of that, I’ve also witnessed her not talking to her own coaches enough to even let them know that she’s injured. She’d more likely just do what’s expected of her because the coach said so and not speak up. I’m sure there is a LOT of middle ground to be realized there . I continue to work on that but, hopefully, she’ll find that sweet spot on her own.
There’s also the advice of not caring what others think about you as long as you’re happy with yourself. I’ve never been the type to care about that at all. I think I did push that off on my kids for sure. I’ve explained to them that even if they are confident in themselves, as long as they don’t go around saying it, they’ll be ok. There is unfortunately, a fine line between not caring what others think of you, and seeming conceited. As long as they keep their comments to themselves, they should be ok for the most part. That doesn’t mean they think they’re great or anything… but it does mean that they are happy enough with themselves that what others think doesn’t matter so much to them. Having said that, it also doesn’t mean they can’t get their feelings hurt by people. But it does mean that they tend to let a lot roll off. It’s been a struggle sometimes I’m sure, but for their future happiness, I think this is a very good trait. Much better than always having to worry about what others think so much that you conform to things you normally wouldn’t, or end up just being a follower. I’m actually quite proud of my girls for this trait. It’s a hard one to pull off sometimes. And it’s also hard to correlate that with the criticism that can come from others. However, not caring what people think does not mean ignoring what is said. People should never ignore criticism, but should find out what’s behind it. Ask for help with whatever you’re being criticized about. If the person doing it is truly trying to give “constructive criticism” they’ll be willing to take the time to help you. If they aren’t willing to help you, it’s likely they aren’t trying to be constructive at all, but that there is something more at play. Either way, you’ll learn something out of the exchange that can come in handy for the future.
And finally, how about this good nugget… There will always be someone better at something than you are, and you’ll always be better at something than someone else. That doesn’t mean you don’t try harder at something, but does mean you shouldn’t compare yourself to others. (I know, easier said than done sometimes). Remember that others are comparing themselves to someone too. Maybe you. The point is to just strive to be YOUR best, not THE best and you’ll end up being happy with yourself for trying and for recognizing your own personal growth.
While pondering these thoughts these last couple months, I realized that they were probably coming from a place of uncertainty about all our upcoming changes. One of my girls goes to College for the first time. They’ll be new professors, friends, coaches, directors, etc. The advice holds with all these changes… Treat others with respect, everyone deserves that even if you don’t personally respect the person or position they hold. Be friendly to everyone, not just who you are friends with. And strive to achieve your own personal best at whatever you do without letting others tear you down. If you can successfully follow those rules, you’ll be happier with yourself overall and that’s when your true light will shine through. You’ll be the better person you want to be.
So to both my girls I say, go forth and concur whatever new changes and challenges lie ahead for you. And if this and other advice I’ve given you over these wonderful years of parenting you has been harmful, I’m sorry for that. But never sorry for sharing experiences that will help you in the long run even if they seem odd now. I realize not all of it will work for each of you and you’ll find your own way in life ultimately. But always remember that no matter what, you can ALWAYS count on me to be here for you in a way that you don’t even comprehend at the moment. As the song said when you were younger “…and when the day is done my mama’s still my biggest fan” will always hold true.
One last thing to remember, there will always be a lot of people willing to judge you, but in the end, two things are for certain. What you think about yourself matters most now, and secondly, that there is only one “person” who’s judgement will ultimately matter. One “person” that knows how everyone is treating others. Only you can determine who’s judgement matters most to you? Theirs or HIS?
Friday, August 26, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
Why does everything have to be a controversy...
I was watching the news this morning and the big story was how so many people are up in arms about NBCs opening of the golf tournament yesterday. They are talking about boycotting NBC, NBC apologizing, etc. All because they took the words "under God" out of the opening where a part of it was kids saying the Pledge of Allegiance. My first thought was, "ok if that's what they did, and it was on purpose, some people have the right to be upset about it if they want to".
However, they then played what really happened. It wasn't that just the words "under God" were removed as they are making it seem. Yes, they were the only ones omitted in the first part, in the 2nd part "one nation, under god" was omitted. Are people upset that "One Nation" was omitted... not so much. I don't think it was a slam to God at all. I think they were trying a montage of things, the pledge being one of them and started with a few lines, ended with the last, and the middle was gone. It happens it was the same timing, but not only the "under God". Not just two words.
Why do we always dissect everything to death to the point of calling for apologies or boycotts over everything. Maybe they actually were trying to make a statement. But maybe that statement was that not everyone believes in one God or the same God and they were trying to not offend just one particular group. It is the biggest group, but it isn't the only group. Maybe they were making a statement about our countries supposed religious tolerance. After all, if you go back pre-1954, "under God" wasn't a part of the Pledge. I'm happy to say it when I saw the pledge, but not everyone does. That doesn't make them wrong any more than it makes me right.
Or maybe they weren't trying to do anything at all and it was poor editing. Maybe (as Tim would say), sometimes a smoke is just a smoke.
However, they then played what really happened. It wasn't that just the words "under God" were removed as they are making it seem. Yes, they were the only ones omitted in the first part, in the 2nd part "one nation, under god" was omitted. Are people upset that "One Nation" was omitted... not so much. I don't think it was a slam to God at all. I think they were trying a montage of things, the pledge being one of them and started with a few lines, ended with the last, and the middle was gone. It happens it was the same timing, but not only the "under God". Not just two words.
Why do we always dissect everything to death to the point of calling for apologies or boycotts over everything. Maybe they actually were trying to make a statement. But maybe that statement was that not everyone believes in one God or the same God and they were trying to not offend just one particular group. It is the biggest group, but it isn't the only group. Maybe they were making a statement about our countries supposed religious tolerance. After all, if you go back pre-1954, "under God" wasn't a part of the Pledge. I'm happy to say it when I saw the pledge, but not everyone does. That doesn't make them wrong any more than it makes me right.
Or maybe they weren't trying to do anything at all and it was poor editing. Maybe (as Tim would say), sometimes a smoke is just a smoke.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
The lessons of disappointment
A few years back, I wrote on how schools in our county were thinking of doing away with Valedictorian and Salutatorian awards in our schools. I was crazy about it because the big reasoning seemed to be based on the fact that other students not up for the honor, somehow felt bad for not getting it. That seemed a very crazy reason for the change to me.
So today, my own school district announced it had approved a plan to do away with the distinction. Not surprisingly, they site reasons such as moving to new standards with tiered approach for honors of Summa cum laude, magna cum laude and cum laude so that MORE kids can achieve the honor. However, the underlying theme is, again, "often pits students against each other" while trying to attain the top 2 spots. I say that's a trumped up reason and has been for years. And here's why...
I don't mind them changing the criteria for the top rankings (AP classes should be considered higher than non-AP classes. This would stop the folks that only want to be in the top spots so they take easier classes that they know they can ace. There should be a better weighted ranking then there was in our school district. I'm all for changing those. What I'm not for is even after those changes, they should NOT take away the honor of those that hit those top two spots.
If the real reasoning is so the kids that don't make the honor don't feel bad, then maybe we should spend more time on managing expectations. I have a very clear example of that I can share.
I have a daughter that has been working for years towards and end goal with very specific timing in mind. Her timing was this year. I have done my very best to support her in her goal and even push her to do everything she can to try to achieve it. However, while supporting, I have also counseled that she may not make it. There are rules, there are very specific things that need to be done. And sometimes those things can change along the way. You just never know. If she makes this goal, I will be very proud of her as I know her dedication and hard work that has gone into it. If she doesn't make her goal, will she be disappointed? absolutely. But the true lesson in it will be how she handles that disappointment. And frankly, even if she makes her goal, how she handles that too will be of importance to me. Both of those things show character and her ability to march on.
I believe in setting goals for oneself. But in doing so, you need to also know that there could be disappointment. It comes with the territory. I'd be more concerned if someone didn't have goals just because of the disappointment they'd feel if they didn't achieve them. I have faith in my daughter that she'll be able to do what's required of her. But if she can't for some reason, she can't. And sometimes, even if you can do what's required, that doesn't automatically guarantee success either.
Take the working world for instance. How many times have you seen people apply for jobs that were already pre-determined? They need to post jobs to everyone even if they already know the outcome and know who they want for the job. I've been on both sides of that situation. I've interviewed for jobs I knew I wouldn't get because they had someone in mind for it already. I hated that. Unfortunately, I've been on the other side as well, interviewing for a job that I basically knew would already be mine if I wanted it. Which interview do you think I prepared more for? Competition is good for people. It shows strength, determination, perseverance,etc. However, how people handle disappointment shows important qualities as well.
Everyone can't always win, but everyone will lose at some point in their lives. Teaching kids that they can always be the best is dangerous. We must always support them and their goals, but there comes a time when they should be realistic as well. It's that whole American Idol syndrome we all have to suffer thru each season where the contestant says their family has always told them they were the best. Unfortunately, we get to hear the truth. I'm beginning to wonder if the bigger problem isn't that at a very young age most parents tell their kids "if you try hard you can do anything". Well, that's really not true at all. What we should (and I've always tried to do) is tell them "Do the best that you can do for yourself, don't compete against others, compete against you". And maybe even a little bit more of "not everyone will win, it's how you lose that's important".
So, I'm very disappointed in the decision in Webster today. I believe those top 2 should still get their recognition. I believe that others should learn to be happy for the winners, even if it means you aren't one of them.
So today, my own school district announced it had approved a plan to do away with the distinction. Not surprisingly, they site reasons such as moving to new standards with tiered approach for honors of Summa cum laude, magna cum laude and cum laude so that MORE kids can achieve the honor. However, the underlying theme is, again, "often pits students against each other" while trying to attain the top 2 spots. I say that's a trumped up reason and has been for years. And here's why...
I don't mind them changing the criteria for the top rankings (AP classes should be considered higher than non-AP classes. This would stop the folks that only want to be in the top spots so they take easier classes that they know they can ace. There should be a better weighted ranking then there was in our school district. I'm all for changing those. What I'm not for is even after those changes, they should NOT take away the honor of those that hit those top two spots.
If the real reasoning is so the kids that don't make the honor don't feel bad, then maybe we should spend more time on managing expectations. I have a very clear example of that I can share.
I have a daughter that has been working for years towards and end goal with very specific timing in mind. Her timing was this year. I have done my very best to support her in her goal and even push her to do everything she can to try to achieve it. However, while supporting, I have also counseled that she may not make it. There are rules, there are very specific things that need to be done. And sometimes those things can change along the way. You just never know. If she makes this goal, I will be very proud of her as I know her dedication and hard work that has gone into it. If she doesn't make her goal, will she be disappointed? absolutely. But the true lesson in it will be how she handles that disappointment. And frankly, even if she makes her goal, how she handles that too will be of importance to me. Both of those things show character and her ability to march on.
I believe in setting goals for oneself. But in doing so, you need to also know that there could be disappointment. It comes with the territory. I'd be more concerned if someone didn't have goals just because of the disappointment they'd feel if they didn't achieve them. I have faith in my daughter that she'll be able to do what's required of her. But if she can't for some reason, she can't. And sometimes, even if you can do what's required, that doesn't automatically guarantee success either.
Take the working world for instance. How many times have you seen people apply for jobs that were already pre-determined? They need to post jobs to everyone even if they already know the outcome and know who they want for the job. I've been on both sides of that situation. I've interviewed for jobs I knew I wouldn't get because they had someone in mind for it already. I hated that. Unfortunately, I've been on the other side as well, interviewing for a job that I basically knew would already be mine if I wanted it. Which interview do you think I prepared more for? Competition is good for people. It shows strength, determination, perseverance,etc. However, how people handle disappointment shows important qualities as well.
Everyone can't always win, but everyone will lose at some point in their lives. Teaching kids that they can always be the best is dangerous. We must always support them and their goals, but there comes a time when they should be realistic as well. It's that whole American Idol syndrome we all have to suffer thru each season where the contestant says their family has always told them they were the best. Unfortunately, we get to hear the truth. I'm beginning to wonder if the bigger problem isn't that at a very young age most parents tell their kids "if you try hard you can do anything". Well, that's really not true at all. What we should (and I've always tried to do) is tell them "Do the best that you can do for yourself, don't compete against others, compete against you". And maybe even a little bit more of "not everyone will win, it's how you lose that's important".
So, I'm very disappointed in the decision in Webster today. I believe those top 2 should still get their recognition. I believe that others should learn to be happy for the winners, even if it means you aren't one of them.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
My first sports blog...
I’m going to start off with a bit of background to cement my reasons for writing, then I’ll get to it, I promise.
As some of you know from my updates, I’m a HUGE Celtics fan (and basketball in general really). I enjoy a good game no matter who is playing (with maybe the exception of 2 teams). But I’ll always be true to my Green machine. My love of the game and the Celtics in particular started so long ago, I almost don’t remember NOT being a fan. I watched all through the Larry Bird era with my Dad, and waited 22 years for another title (a very long wait). When they won again 2 years ago, I knew then it wasn’t the start of a long run like it was in the 80s, as the guys that won on that team were already a bit older and a bit more injury prone. Last year, they went to the finals again, but lost in the last 1 ½ minutes of game 7 to the Lakers. That was a great series. Again, this year, they started off well, but traded 5 players on trade deadline day, and between getting a bunch of new guys that haven’t played together long, and with numerous injuries, we all know they are not faring well in their current series against Miami Heat (down 3-1 going into tonight). So, tonight is being played in Miami (and well, if you’ve watched any b-ball at all this year, we all know how that will go even if my guys play perfectly. There are definitely “things” playing in Miami that never go on anyone other than Miami’s side. I’ll leave that for my own thoughts. I can’t do anything about that. It is what it is.
However, there are some things happening in basketball recently that I think someone should do something about. Don’t get me wrong, I really love a physical game. I’m also of the opinion that it should be allowed to get even a bit more physical during the playoffs. The whole level of intensity changes from the last game of regular season, to the first game of the playoffs. I’m not sure what makes that particular switch go off in the players heads, but it does. It has to or you don’t last past the first round in the playoffs. There’s enough talent on many teams to go far, but without the mental toughness, talent won’t take you to the end. But the level of play, and the inability of the officials to call a game equitably, has me concerned. It’s as if we are going back to the Bill Laibeer Detroit Piston days. It was 1987 when Celtics/Pistons were playing for the Eastern Conference Championship. That entire series was very physical and hard fouls were let go with no calls. The Pistons just kept getting more and more cocky that they could get away with anything. And it seemed to the fans, that was true. Game 3 Laimbeer takes out Bird. By game 5 Laimbeer was so out of control that the normally calm Robert Parish just punched him in the face. Yes, Robert was ejected and rightfully so. But also, rightfully so, he was cheered on for it. Some claimed it was their greatest moment as a fan. The team could only take so much and punches were going to be thrown if someone didn’t stop the insanity that was happening on the court. It’s noteworthy to say that that game was also the one you hear a lot on NBA commercials with an overly excited announcer stating “Larry stole the ball”. The other great moment of that game (2 seconds left , Larry Bird steals the Pistons Isaiah Thomas inbound pass, throws to Dennis Johnson who scores and wins the game sending series 3-2 Celtics). I may have just lost my voice in that one, can’t remember. But I digress.
It seems that type of play is starting to happen all over again. It’s always been physical, and I stated above that I like physical, but the take outs just for the sake of them are not what the game should be about. It wasn’t all those years ago (and yes my Celtics made some bad plays too), and it shouldn’t be played that way now either. There is much talk on ESPN, sports blogs and the podcasts I’ve been listening to about the Rajon Rondo take down by Dwayne Wade in game 3 of our current series. It wasn’t an accident, but no, I don’t believe he wanted to injure Rondo quite as badly as he did. However heroic a return Rondo made with a dislocated left elbow and came back into the game with a lead arm hanging at his side, he isn’t up to his normal play. Is that helping the Miami Heat… sure it is. But it’s not the factor in the loss in game 4. The C’s are older, and tired and are playing a talented and much younger group of guys. However, the inequality of the calls is astounding. LeBron James can take someone out and then be seen laughing about it while the camera is on him. They can just come from behind and wrap up our guys in a bear hug or toss them to the ground and it’s normal ball. That’s the part that needs to be dealt with. And I don’t just mean it because of the examples against my team. I’ve been watching all the playoffs and it seems like this type of play is the norm now. The officials occasionally call foul on it, or worse yet “the double technical”, but it isn’t enough. The NBA and David Stern need to get this back to a game of basic good playing basketball without all the theatrics. When all the other crap goes on, it lessens the sport. These teams should be proud to be where they are because of GOOD playing, not because they can take someone out and only get a foul called on them for doing so. There needs to be more consequences for intentional take downs.
I realize this is a business, and it’s obvious from how the league handles the Miami Heat ever since LeBrons “decision”, that it’s really only about money for the owners and even the Commissioner himself. But let’s put some pride back in to the sport for the real basketball lovers like myself. The players should have enough pride that even when they are loosing, they don’t resort to the kind of stuff the Lakers did in their 4th game of being swept out of their series this week. I’m not a Laker fan (ok, I’m not a Kobe fan), but when two different guys get ejected from a game within a minute of each other at the end of it, is that how you really want to go out as a “team”. I know it’s hard to lose, and my guys may do it this week too (maybe even tonight), but I’d hope that if/when they do, they go out with the Celtic Pride they should be showing, and not go out being remembered as just taking people out because their mad.. I’d be very disappointed in them if they handled themselves that way. It could happen, but if it does, I’ll be the first to denounce it, just as I was with the Lakers performance in game 4.
So officials, start really officiating these games fairly. What goes for one team MUST go for another. And David Stern, stop caring so much about the money Miami is bringing to the league and do something about the other issues. It’s great to fine people for using bad language against the refs as you’ve done this season, but how about fining some refs for not having better consistency in games and allowing some of the really blatent hits to occur. If they let the teams get away with it, it’ll only get worse. If we don’t want to see a player get pushed as far as Robert Parish did in ’87, make sure there isn’t a need. These ball players are, after all, human. If they keep getting away with something, they’ll keep pushing to see how far they can go. I want good basketball, and part of that means good officiating. That is NOT happening in any of the series this year.
Having said all of this, it doesn’t look too good for my team given they need to win the next 3 games, two of them being played in Miami. If they win, I’ll be thrilled. If they lose, I’ll be disappointed. However, I’ll be even more disappointed if it’s a blood bath by either team. Play the game with talent and with your heads in the right place. You don’t need to hurt anyone to win a game, or a least you shouldn’t.
And fans, a note for you too… I know everyone has heard that good sportsmanship is about losing graciously. It’s also about wining graciously. I think that’s something lost on a lot of people these days. It isn’t necessary to be disrespectful to a losing team. I posted on Mother’s day about my good day and how we were watching the Lakers get swept from their series. That was a matter of fact statement, not a gloat. Sure I’m happy they won’t be in the Finals… time for someone else to have a chance (maybe Oklahoma, Dallas) But, I would have liked to see them go out on a better note after all the years they had as a respected franchise. The pressure took them down a road I didn’t want to see them go down, and it was disappointing. Respect for any team playing should be observed. If either of the two teams I don’t like end up in the Finals, I’d be happy for them. I probably won’t watch, but I’d be happy they achieved something they wanted so badly… or at least I will if I feel it’s a fair win.
As some of you know from my updates, I’m a HUGE Celtics fan (and basketball in general really). I enjoy a good game no matter who is playing (with maybe the exception of 2 teams). But I’ll always be true to my Green machine. My love of the game and the Celtics in particular started so long ago, I almost don’t remember NOT being a fan. I watched all through the Larry Bird era with my Dad, and waited 22 years for another title (a very long wait). When they won again 2 years ago, I knew then it wasn’t the start of a long run like it was in the 80s, as the guys that won on that team were already a bit older and a bit more injury prone. Last year, they went to the finals again, but lost in the last 1 ½ minutes of game 7 to the Lakers. That was a great series. Again, this year, they started off well, but traded 5 players on trade deadline day, and between getting a bunch of new guys that haven’t played together long, and with numerous injuries, we all know they are not faring well in their current series against Miami Heat (down 3-1 going into tonight). So, tonight is being played in Miami (and well, if you’ve watched any b-ball at all this year, we all know how that will go even if my guys play perfectly. There are definitely “things” playing in Miami that never go on anyone other than Miami’s side. I’ll leave that for my own thoughts. I can’t do anything about that. It is what it is.
However, there are some things happening in basketball recently that I think someone should do something about. Don’t get me wrong, I really love a physical game. I’m also of the opinion that it should be allowed to get even a bit more physical during the playoffs. The whole level of intensity changes from the last game of regular season, to the first game of the playoffs. I’m not sure what makes that particular switch go off in the players heads, but it does. It has to or you don’t last past the first round in the playoffs. There’s enough talent on many teams to go far, but without the mental toughness, talent won’t take you to the end. But the level of play, and the inability of the officials to call a game equitably, has me concerned. It’s as if we are going back to the Bill Laibeer Detroit Piston days. It was 1987 when Celtics/Pistons were playing for the Eastern Conference Championship. That entire series was very physical and hard fouls were let go with no calls. The Pistons just kept getting more and more cocky that they could get away with anything. And it seemed to the fans, that was true. Game 3 Laimbeer takes out Bird. By game 5 Laimbeer was so out of control that the normally calm Robert Parish just punched him in the face. Yes, Robert was ejected and rightfully so. But also, rightfully so, he was cheered on for it. Some claimed it was their greatest moment as a fan. The team could only take so much and punches were going to be thrown if someone didn’t stop the insanity that was happening on the court. It’s noteworthy to say that that game was also the one you hear a lot on NBA commercials with an overly excited announcer stating “Larry stole the ball”. The other great moment of that game (2 seconds left , Larry Bird steals the Pistons Isaiah Thomas inbound pass, throws to Dennis Johnson who scores and wins the game sending series 3-2 Celtics). I may have just lost my voice in that one, can’t remember. But I digress.
It seems that type of play is starting to happen all over again. It’s always been physical, and I stated above that I like physical, but the take outs just for the sake of them are not what the game should be about. It wasn’t all those years ago (and yes my Celtics made some bad plays too), and it shouldn’t be played that way now either. There is much talk on ESPN, sports blogs and the podcasts I’ve been listening to about the Rajon Rondo take down by Dwayne Wade in game 3 of our current series. It wasn’t an accident, but no, I don’t believe he wanted to injure Rondo quite as badly as he did. However heroic a return Rondo made with a dislocated left elbow and came back into the game with a lead arm hanging at his side, he isn’t up to his normal play. Is that helping the Miami Heat… sure it is. But it’s not the factor in the loss in game 4. The C’s are older, and tired and are playing a talented and much younger group of guys. However, the inequality of the calls is astounding. LeBron James can take someone out and then be seen laughing about it while the camera is on him. They can just come from behind and wrap up our guys in a bear hug or toss them to the ground and it’s normal ball. That’s the part that needs to be dealt with. And I don’t just mean it because of the examples against my team. I’ve been watching all the playoffs and it seems like this type of play is the norm now. The officials occasionally call foul on it, or worse yet “the double technical”, but it isn’t enough. The NBA and David Stern need to get this back to a game of basic good playing basketball without all the theatrics. When all the other crap goes on, it lessens the sport. These teams should be proud to be where they are because of GOOD playing, not because they can take someone out and only get a foul called on them for doing so. There needs to be more consequences for intentional take downs.
I realize this is a business, and it’s obvious from how the league handles the Miami Heat ever since LeBrons “decision”, that it’s really only about money for the owners and even the Commissioner himself. But let’s put some pride back in to the sport for the real basketball lovers like myself. The players should have enough pride that even when they are loosing, they don’t resort to the kind of stuff the Lakers did in their 4th game of being swept out of their series this week. I’m not a Laker fan (ok, I’m not a Kobe fan), but when two different guys get ejected from a game within a minute of each other at the end of it, is that how you really want to go out as a “team”. I know it’s hard to lose, and my guys may do it this week too (maybe even tonight), but I’d hope that if/when they do, they go out with the Celtic Pride they should be showing, and not go out being remembered as just taking people out because their mad.. I’d be very disappointed in them if they handled themselves that way. It could happen, but if it does, I’ll be the first to denounce it, just as I was with the Lakers performance in game 4.
So officials, start really officiating these games fairly. What goes for one team MUST go for another. And David Stern, stop caring so much about the money Miami is bringing to the league and do something about the other issues. It’s great to fine people for using bad language against the refs as you’ve done this season, but how about fining some refs for not having better consistency in games and allowing some of the really blatent hits to occur. If they let the teams get away with it, it’ll only get worse. If we don’t want to see a player get pushed as far as Robert Parish did in ’87, make sure there isn’t a need. These ball players are, after all, human. If they keep getting away with something, they’ll keep pushing to see how far they can go. I want good basketball, and part of that means good officiating. That is NOT happening in any of the series this year.
Having said all of this, it doesn’t look too good for my team given they need to win the next 3 games, two of them being played in Miami. If they win, I’ll be thrilled. If they lose, I’ll be disappointed. However, I’ll be even more disappointed if it’s a blood bath by either team. Play the game with talent and with your heads in the right place. You don’t need to hurt anyone to win a game, or a least you shouldn’t.
And fans, a note for you too… I know everyone has heard that good sportsmanship is about losing graciously. It’s also about wining graciously. I think that’s something lost on a lot of people these days. It isn’t necessary to be disrespectful to a losing team. I posted on Mother’s day about my good day and how we were watching the Lakers get swept from their series. That was a matter of fact statement, not a gloat. Sure I’m happy they won’t be in the Finals… time for someone else to have a chance (maybe Oklahoma, Dallas) But, I would have liked to see them go out on a better note after all the years they had as a respected franchise. The pressure took them down a road I didn’t want to see them go down, and it was disappointing. Respect for any team playing should be observed. If either of the two teams I don’t like end up in the Finals, I’d be happy for them. I probably won’t watch, but I’d be happy they achieved something they wanted so badly… or at least I will if I feel it’s a fair win.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Social Security "Fix"
For a long time now we’ve been hearing how the GOP would like to “fix” social security. Their idea of “fix” of course is to do away with by the time my generation would begin to collect this money that we’ve paid into for so long now. Oh, they aren't coming right out and saying that, but reading between the lines, which is not hard to do, means exactly that. From G.W. privatization plan, to last nights Ryan saying (while talking about budget cuts) “If we act soon, and if we act responsibly, people in and near retirement will be protected." What that means is that there will be NO changes to Social Security for those that in the very near future will hit that magical age, or those that are already collecting. No wonder so many older people are ok with this. It won’t effect them. However, what about all the screaming some of those older folks are doing about what we are leaving their kids and grandkids. Those “kids” are us… my generation. People like me that have paid into this system since I started working at 17 and without interruption, and paid my SS monies. What will the actual idea for us be in this arena? Will they be back to putting our money into private accounts where we could invest it? Because if that’s their idea, we can already see how well that will work. Those that are already investing had a real great time in the last two years when we lost much of our investments. If that is their plan, do they plan to back that money by the federal gov’t should we go belly up based on the their policies that will get us into a mess all over again? I somehow doubt that because that would be a “safety net” and we all know how they feel about having those.
So, here’s my idea. If they are so bent on making sure my generation does not collect the Social Security that I’ve paid into for more than half my life, then how about a one time buy out. Give me every bit of money I’ve put in over my life time and let me do what I want with it. And oh, by the way, I want it TAX FREE since they are so big on low taxes. They should no longer be able to benefit from the money I’ve been investing in this program all these years, if they don’t want to allow me to benefit from it later as was meant to be. Of course, I’d still have to invest it on my own and could still stand to lose much of it when they ignore things that are collapsing again… but I suppose at that point, at least it’ll be my problem for not watching out for it better than they think they can. However, when the majority of folks that know nothing about investing lose everything, I’m sure they’ll feel bad about them not being able to feed themselves , house themselves, cloth themselves, etc, right? Or, maybe that’s their new way of weeding out people later in life. Their own version of the “death panels” they so like to talk about.
Can’t wait to see how they try playing all of this out. Will make for great entertainment. I can’t wait even more to see how many people buy into the explanations from them. Just give me my money (and yes, it is mine… I earned it, they took it and it appears they don’t want me to get it back later). Give it to me and let me just get on with my life so I don’t have to listen to the crap any more.
So, here’s my idea. If they are so bent on making sure my generation does not collect the Social Security that I’ve paid into for more than half my life, then how about a one time buy out. Give me every bit of money I’ve put in over my life time and let me do what I want with it. And oh, by the way, I want it TAX FREE since they are so big on low taxes. They should no longer be able to benefit from the money I’ve been investing in this program all these years, if they don’t want to allow me to benefit from it later as was meant to be. Of course, I’d still have to invest it on my own and could still stand to lose much of it when they ignore things that are collapsing again… but I suppose at that point, at least it’ll be my problem for not watching out for it better than they think they can. However, when the majority of folks that know nothing about investing lose everything, I’m sure they’ll feel bad about them not being able to feed themselves , house themselves, cloth themselves, etc, right? Or, maybe that’s their new way of weeding out people later in life. Their own version of the “death panels” they so like to talk about.
Can’t wait to see how they try playing all of this out. Will make for great entertainment. I can’t wait even more to see how many people buy into the explanations from them. Just give me my money (and yes, it is mine… I earned it, they took it and it appears they don’t want me to get it back later). Give it to me and let me just get on with my life so I don’t have to listen to the crap any more.
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