Time flies

I just realized how long it's been since I've written anything that isn't either a comment on FB, or posting pictures of the kids. In realizing that, it makes me realize that the older I get, the faster time goes. Two months have gone by between posts and so much has been happening. I've had cheer competitions and tryouts for a new season, school concerts, holidays to prepare for (which is probably where all my time went), running around for volunteer activities for kids, a few swim meets for Tim's boys, and unfortunately hospital visits and now, my own sickness (which kind of makes it feel like time is standing still right now when I want it to fly by and shake whatever I have).

So, with time getting away from me, I finally sent my Christmas cards out with my girls picture, as well as posting it on FB. Looking at their pictures each year, I get very sentimental. I vividly remember their first Christmas, and every one in between. But, I don't remember them getting this big. They have both turned into very smart, beautiful, talented, insightful young ladies and I couldn't be prouder of them. They are alike in many ways, yet very different in others. They are definitely their own people with their own definitive ideas about things and I love that. With the recognition of their far too rapid growing, and since we are well into the college visiting process for one of them, it reminds me that there are fewer occasions that we will all get to be together as often as we are now. It's a very hard thing to realize, yet an exciting thing as well. You bring children into the world hoping to teach and shape them, and to allow them to experience things and make decisions on their own so they'll know how to handle issues that arise when you aren't with them. Knowing that they'll soon be able to incorporate all that into their own lives, does have an excitement (as well as fear) behind it. But, with time moving as it is, it does appear to all be happening far too quickly for me.

So with Christmas being my favorite holiday of the year, and having ample time off work/school, I'm hopeful that time can just take a break... slow down just a bit. I want the chance to enjoy every moment with my girls, as well as time to enjoy watching them have fun with their family and friends and to transition into the new year. Because even the little things like running them around to be with their friends, are making lasting memories for me by just watching them enjoy their lives. Soon, I'll be wondering why I don't have any of that running around to do... so I'm learning to embrace and love all those little moments, as well as the big ones.

Here's to all of you enjoying your "little moments" of lasting memories as well. Have a great Christmas season.

Take these things when you can get them

It started out as what would be deemed a typical Tuesday night in my household. I get home from work, think about dinner, and oops... Lauren's practice is canceled and Jennifer has to be run to the store to get last minute additions to her costume for school on Friday. Ok, still it was something different than running all night for drop off/pick up of practices. So the girls start with homework, I cook, we eat, we go to the store, we come home. Typical so far.

What made this night different is that Lauren asked me to practice her band songs with her as there were parts she didn't quite get the rhythm and wanted my help. For those that don't know, she is a flute player as I was, and it's been a VERY long time since she's asked me to help her. In fact, it's been a very long time since I've heard her practice at home with all the playing they get at school. So I head to her room, my flute in tow. She gets out her music and tells me that she just wants me to play it so she can hear how it's supposed to go. So I play the parts she was having trouble with and when I finish she looks at me and says (drumroll please)... "why do you have to be so good?"

For anyone with normal teenage kids, this is something as parents that we rarely get to hear, so we cherish it. It's more typical that parents get looks that ask the questions like "what are you doing, why are you doing it, and please don't ever do that again". So when we get this kind of unexpected praise, even though they probably don't even know they just gave it, we do silly things with it. We blog about it so that we can remember it ever happened in the first place.

I share this not as a statement about kids not giving praise because after all, they are kids. It's a statement about not making a big deal about it to them, but sharing with other parents so that we are all aware these things CAN happen every now and then. So be ready, maybe you're the next one we can hear from about your own "praise" story.

I finished with her and actually got in a good run (and it was mostly running which I really hate). It was a good night.

Cool technology? apparently it depends on your thinking...

Maybe I'm one of the last ones to see this come through, but as a person that works with technology, I think this is VERY cool. I was so disappointed to read the comments from people about it though. I find it hard to believe that just because... someone CAN interact with a "person" like this, that people automatically go to how bad it will be for people's social lives, and in the extreme, that they'll never need real friends if this becomes popular. Really? Especially for kids given the amount of time they spend in school and doing homework, can't it be looked at as a nice break and something fun. Why do we now always take things to the farthest extreme. Guess these folks haven't heard of Second Life, etc. I enjoy that on occasion, but it certainly hasn't stopped me from interacting with real people at all. So if we take the opposite approach, what if this is actually good for kids that are being bullied and don't really have any friends. Isn't one like this, better than none?

But I realize, I do think differently than a lot of people I know. Oh well... to me... this is still very cool technology.

Keeping up with my kids

School officially started about a month ago. I can tell because I'm a little more harried, have a lot less money, and am very tired all the time. I thought maybe it was because they were back with all those other germy kids and bringing it home to me. But of late, I'm wondering if it isn't that I'm just tired of running around to "stuff" all the time.

I should have a lot more down time now that school has started. They have enough homework to keep them going at night that I should be able to just rest while they do it all. However, between running to/from cheer practices, games, meetings for all sorts of things school related or college search related, keeping up with the mounds of laundry all week (winter's big clothes vs. summer little clothes isn't helping how many loads I do), lunches, store runs for what is forgotten about until the last minute, etc., I'm really not resting much at all. On top of it, the schools don't seem to care that they've scheduled multiple things on the same night that require me to be in not only 2, but 3 different places in one evening (you'd think being divorced would help with that as you could split up, but not so much sometimes). Last week it was trying to figure out how to be at open house for one of my girls, while getting my other one back home from practice so she could start her homework. Car pooling would have been a really great idea except that all the other moms I knew were at the open house as well. The danger of kids being 3 years apart and in different schools.

However, in 2 weeks, I have the dilemma of 3 events in one night. A "mandatory" parent/student meeting for the upcoming Washington trip that my youngest will be taking. She and I will miss that completely because she also has a Cheer Competition that same night/same time, as well as my oldest being in a concert at her school. Hmmm... which parent goes to which activity? It's always the question, but as my normal readers know... I hate to miss anything my kids do. It's rare that I have to, but there have been occasions where I miss based on logistics and I need to make choices. When making the choice of what to attend, it's really hard because you don't want one child to feel you are favoring the other or the others activities. It would be so nice if sports teams and schools got together with the calendars so the parents didn't have miss anything. I know that's not realistic though as I only have two kids. What about the parents with larger families.

I guess the good news for my kids is that I do suffer over these choices. I know parents that are so engrossed with their own activities for themselves, that the kids activities aren't even a part of their choice... it's just "oh well, I have this other thing to go to so I'll miss it". I recognize that some things are not preventable, but I really don't get that as regular occurence. The moment I had my first child, my life became all about their activities. What I might want to do on a regular/routine basis was completely put on hold. And... I'm ok with that. In my mind that's how it should be. When my kids graduate from High School and are away at college, that's when I can do those things. I'll have all the time in the world to do them and will probably be sitting around wishing I didn't have time again. I'll be missing them so much I'll wish I had to run to practice. But, that's still a ways off for me and for now, I'd rather suffer thru all my choices of what to attend, or be tired from all the running vs. having to miss anything. It's worth it to get to enjoy every minute of still having them with me. It's going by so quickly.

PS... I hope I make the right decisions in two weeks. Or at the very least, have my kids understand the ones I do have to make. Wish I had that time turner watch that Hermione used in HP. Would sure come in handy...

Valuable lessons of the AntiChrist

Just back from church and as often happens to me when I’m there, I found something in the message that equates to real life in the present time. The study of late has been First John. While not getting into the entire message of the day, the point that struck me was Pastors conversation on Christ vs. the Antichrist. He was making several points in this conversation, but one that struck me was on what he describes as “fearful teaching”. His message is that people should not only be taught Christ’s teachings, but should also be exposed to the Antichrist teachings. The reason being that people should be shown what that is, so they can recognize it when they see it. It seems I finally have validation that what I’ve been doing with my own kids isn’t off base at all.

You see, I’ve known many people that believe their “kids shouldn’t be exposed to ______” (fill in your own blank), shouldn’t date until they are finished with school, etc. However, I’ve never believed that makes much sense. If kids aren’t exposed to certain things, how will they ever deal with them out in the real world when their most important support group is not as close at hand. I wouldn’t want my daughters first dating experience to be in College where their biggest support group on campus is made up of friends they’ve known for maybe a couple months. Those friends won’t know them like I know them. New friends won’t know the look they get when something is wrong, or what thoughts are behind those looks. And my girls may not be comfortable at all talking with them about issues since they are new friends. Heck, maybe they won’t be comfortable talking to me about certain things. But one thing they will know, is that they CAN talk to me no matter what it is, because I’ve opened that door a long time ago with them. I will talk with them like they are mature adults about anything, without judgment because that is not only my job, but also the type of relationship I hoped to be building with them for many years before they are on their own. I should talk to them about drugs and sex and anything else that might come their way BEFORE they are smack in the middle of the temptations of these things. If I shelter them, I am doing them a grave disservice. As they grow older, the conversations will undoubtedly change in content, but I don’t believe it’s too early to start any of that… there are age appropriate ways for everything. The girls have even watched shows that aren’t the most appropriate, but as we’ve found that out together while watching something new, it’s been a good lesson building experience. My oldest daughter asked to leave a movie many years ago because the language was bad (good for her for recognizing that and not wanting to be around it). Would that happen now, now that unfortunately that language is more commonplace to her in a High School, maybe not. But, she won’t use the language herself. So, she’s learned what she doesn’t like and will not take part in. But she’s also learned what she can’t stop others from doing, no matter how much you try or might want to. (As a quick aside, my oldest and me watched Roadhouse last night. I’ve seen it a million times on TV and love it. However, we watched the non-TV version. Oops… I’d forgotten how bad that was with the language and bare parts. I found myself forwarding through some of those for my own purposes… embarrassment mostly… and apologized to her for forgetting the real version was much different than the TV version. You see, I believe that parents should be respectful enough of their kids to apologize to them when they make mistakes too… we aren’t any more perfect than we expect them to be).

Many years ago, my ex-husband and I had a disagreement about the Harry Potter series. He believed the kids should never be exposed to them as they might start to believe in witchcraft. I believed our girls were smarter than that and knew the difference between reality and make believe. Oddly, he was ok with seeing the Lord of the Rings series though, as that had biblical undertones. Had he given HP a try, he would have found the same things, so maybe it was just the witchcraft that disturbed him. After all, in HP, Lord Voldermort was trying his best to rise to power for the sake of power. He was full of hate and wanted nothing more than to be the most powerful and have everyone worship him and only him. All of those things he desired were what caused his downfall to Harry… who was filled with love and the sense of right from wrong and who was always good no matter what evil tempted him. I always believed that if the girls wanted to watch HP, they could. That maybe their dad should watch it with them and then having seen it for himself, be able to have discussions about the movie (another opportunity for teaching moments of our own values).

In the end, my two daughters had a vast difference in their interests in the Harry Potter series. I have one that still won’t watch any of them. My belief still being the indoctrination of her father telling her how evil they were (or maybe that she just doesn’t like to make waves too much). The other has seen every movie (the first of which was her choice at a summer camp full of options. She told me she’d chosen that option after the fact). The thing to note about the one that has watched is that it was very easy for her to tell who was good and who was evil, as well as simply enjoy the movies for the entertainment value that they were. Never once did she ask if she could perform witchcraft. Guess she’s either as smart as I knew my girls would be about it, or that the values we’d already instilled, were in her head as she watched. To Pastor’s point today, she was exposed so that she would be able to tell when evil was around. She’d recognize evil by herself, and she did.

At some point, I believe parents need to trust in what they’ve instilled. I know that there will be times that kids will go against their parents wishes and maybe even against their values, but will we really love them less for it? Or will we still be there to hold their hands and guide them gently back to where we’d like them to be. And even if we can’t guide them back, does that mean we stop being there for them. Of course not. But I firmly believe to do my job well, I need to expose them to all sorts of things with the knowledge and understanding of what it all means from both sides of the perspective, while putting my own values in front of them. That’s my job, and I love my girls enough to do nothing less for them.

I clearly must have heard Newt wrong

I was flipping news channels this morning, you know, to get all that unbiased news that each channel "thinks" they provide, and Newt was on one of them. I clearly must have heard him wrong because I believe he was actually saying (in regards to the health care bill) that he was in favor of an end-of-life patient being able to bring up with their doctor the notion of ending their life. The point he was making was that it was ok to for that patient to talk to their doctor about it, but it wasn't ok for the government to bring up that conversation for the patient (this is the crazy death-panel notion they are all talking about now). However, none of that is my point, yet again. It's just the catalyst for the blog piece.

Again, my point is the pro-life movement that I think should involve all pro-life situations. It seems this would be one of those situations. If you think no one should play God with abortion, why can they with the death penalty (we all know how I feel about this as I've definitely blogged about that before). But why doesn't this fall into that same (always error on the side of life) issue. Isn't choosing to take your own life (no matter the situation) playing God as well? And if they don't want the government involved in any decision like that, why is that different then the government being involved in the abortion issue? To me, they are all the same. They are life ending choices that the government shouldn't be involved in, period.

Now, for the full disclosure, I'm not saying that I'm not in favor of choosing to end my own life in certain situations... I'm honestly not sure about that... and probably won''t be entirely sure unless I was actually IN one of those situations. I'm certainly not judging those that choose that option. The point is, I'm just still wondering why they don't see that it's all the same idea. Can't be pro-life without being pro ALL life. And yes, I realize I sound like a broken record on this one, but that at least shows my consistency. That isn't to say I don't struggle with all of the three situations, because I do. Personally, I wouldn't have an abortion. There are probably times when even though I'm against the death penalty, I could understand seeking it for someone. And, I can certainly understand wanting to choose to end your life rather than suffering when you know the end is near anyway. So, I get that there are internal struggles around these things even with as strongly as I feel about them. But if you (generically) are really pro-life, it seems that these things should only be internal struggles at certain times. Seems the real "pro-lifers" should be against ALL these things that cause death by playing God.

My real un-Americans rant

I made a status update last night on Facebook that simply read:

"thanks to President Bill Clinton for getting the job done. Safe travels home for him and the released reporters. Now if only others could get something done."

I had some "thumbs up" on that comment from folks that I know aren't politically aligned with me, and I think that's great. It shows me that there are people that are willing to put politics aside to acknowledge something good that happened, no matter who was involved in making it happen. I know that Bill Clinton didn't do this on his own. This work has been under way for some time now. But he was willing to drop everything and go pick those women up when it was requested that he was the one to do so. He also handled it very well today when he stayed on the plane in order to let it all be about the journalists and the reunion with their families. He came out later, hugged Al Gore, shook hands and talked to the family and then stood in the background while they gave a speech. Al Gore spoke, and it ended. President Clinton didn't even speak. I'm sure he will when he gets asked questions by news folks, but that reunion today, was all about the ladies, as it should have been.

Here comes my rant though. I'm at home working and changing news channels to see the coverage as well as listen to people talk on the radio... (even WBEE this morning). For those of you that are making jokes about Bill (look how far he'd go to pick up women), and those that are turning this into a huge deal about how we are cow-towing to North Korea somehow and pinning that on Obama... grow up. If you can't see how this story is about compassion for the families of these woman, and about getting these woman back where they belong, maybe you are the ones that are the "un-Americans" that you love to bash so much. What happened today is nothing but good, and if you were the families of these woman, I'm sure you'd feel that way too. Of course if all you want to do is bash people, than you'd probably never be able to admit that it was ever good unless you physically went there yourself. Enough already. Get over yourselfs and your narrow vision. Geez... even the lone Republican on the View today (Elizabeth) was capable of praising Bill and Al... and rightfully so. They deserve it. But regardless of that, these woman are home with their families... period. Can't everyone just leave it at that and be happy.

Reporters continue being bashed...

Ever since the last election, reporters have been blamed for anything and everything. They are not asking any questions, they are asking too many questions, they were being somehow unfair to Palin by asking her questions and talking about her family on one side of politics, while the same side was bashing Hillary and her family. And the same was happening from the other side. This has been an ongoing trend for a while now, but this last year has been as worst as I've seen it. Now, much is being made of this video of Matt Lauer's interview with Michelle Malkin about her new book "Culture of Corruption" on the Today Show. I don't even care what her book is about, the odd part of all this is how folks feel he lost his cool. Maybe I'm just happy when any "journalist" asks questions of an opposing side no matter how strongly they have to ask it in order to get a word in edgewise, but I was ok with him doing it. I'd be ok with any of them on any station doing the same to one of their guests. Or maybe I just have a different view of how "journalists" should do their jobs.

It is my belief that reporters/journalists should always ask questions as if they were the devil's advocate to any topic being discussed. And yes, part of that belief is because I do think there are too many people that only listen to the sound bites of whatever network news they choose to watch. And I also believe that many people don't know enough or care enough to dig any deeper than what they hear, or maybe they aren't even capable of doing so. So, any good journalist should ask opposing questions. Do I believe there are folks on certain stations that would never have interrupted Michelle because they wanted only her side heard by their listeners?... absolutely. I also think that there are stations that would not interrupt someone saying that Obama is all great and all knowing because that's their belief. However, that's not what reports should be doing. They should ask questions on both sides regardless of their personal opinions. That's the only way to get some listeners to think for themselves... something I think is sorely lacking these days by how news stations are providing their version of news.

I certainly get that there are many many people that are strictly partisan, no matter what. Personally, I'm not one of them. I'm not naive enough to believe that even if I vote for someone, or a particular party, that they will always do the right thing, any more than I believe that just because I didn't vote for them, that they will always be wrong. But a lot of people are and will never, given the stations they listen to, be able to even hear another side if journalists don't do their job correctly. They need to go back to the Walter Cronkite days and ask the tough questions regardless of their own opinions or what network they work for. Partisan reporting is like partisan government, and we all know how much work gets done when no one will even attempt to cooperate with the other side. It's been happening for far too many years now. It's like watching 2 year olds play in the sandbox... you just want to scream "why can't we all just get along". Or maybe we could just at least attempt to for the sake of this country that everyone claims to care so much about. Not much will ever get done to get us back on track if all we do is just stick to our own views and never ask the tough questions.

Atheists moral compass

Last week, I was working from home and not really paying attention to what was on TV in the background. Then something caught my ear. The Tyra Banks show was on. I know, I never sit to actually watch it, but comedian Steve Harvey was on and he has apparently written a book called "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man". He was on promoting it and he was saying a lot of things that you always knew men thought, but didn't really ever say. He was telling women why it is that they weren't getting or keeping men, from a man's perspective. Some of it was very funny, some we women already knew, but he was entertaining. I was actually even laughing at a couple of spots. My oldest daughter was too. But then we just shook our heads at what came next.

They came to a portion of the show where he was giving advice about things that it's okay for women to ask men very early on in their relationships (even after just a couple of dates). 1st was that it's ok to ask them about their short term goals. Ok, fair enough. 2nd to ask about long term goals... even better. But 3rd is what got me out of my chair and very over Steve's advice in general. 3rd was to ask about his faith. It wasn't the question at all that was bothersome as most people want to know that about their partner. But Steve's assertion, so matter of fact, is what frankly angered me. He said in no uncertain terms that if someone says they are Atheist, run as fast as you can because "it means that have no moral compass". That is the most absurd thing I've ever heard. Unfortunately, there are many people that not only believe a statement like that, but perpetuate it. They are happy to spread that nonsense around.

That type of blanket statement bothers me for many reasons. First of all, you cannot categorize any "group" of people so strictly. Are there atheists without a moral compass? Yes, absolutely. But to say that all of them are lacking morals is nonsense. There will always be an extreme end to any group that ruins it for others, but not all people in any group are the same. It's the same as saying that every professed Christian is a good person. We all know that's not the case. If it were, we wouldn't see so many self-professed Christians taking the lives of others, trashing other people because they think they are better than everyone else, or even simply judging others.

Personally, I know many Atheists that have far greater moral values and live them, then a lot of self-professed Christians that are just taking up seats in the pews every Sunday, but forget what it is they are supposed to be learning during the rest of the week.

So, I was quite over Steve Harvey when he made such a ridiculous comment about the topic. All he showed me is that he is an unfortunate soul that has no ability to not only accept people for who they are, but he doesn't seem to even want people to give others a chance to prove their worth. If we all took his advice, we would only ever be with people just like ourselves, or at least those that "claim" to be like us.

For me personally, if I took that advice, I'd have missed out on some pretty great years, and more to come in the future, with the man I love. Yes, Tim is an Athiest. Tim is also one of the best people I know. He is a loving, passionate, hard working, honest, decent person that is very very grounded in moral values and lives them every day. I would trust him with my life, and more importantly, the lives of my children. He doesn't pretend to be anything he is not and he doesn't judge those that don't believe what he does. And, yes, he even likes that I am Christian and that being so is meaningful to me. He never tries to push his Atheism on anyone, including me. In fact, I've had better discussions regarding religion with him than I have with any one.

Maybe Steve Harvey should have spoken to some non-extreme Atheist people before making such a judgmental statement... especially if he's claiming his own Christianity. I don't think that's what Jesus would have done.

Interesting thoughts by Peggy Noonan

While reading my news feeds this morning, I came across an article that really caught my attention. The full text is really worth the read if you go in with an open mind. A lot of people will think it just a slam on Sarah Palin, but honestly, those parts of the article are not at all what caught my eye. What was interesting is it's an article by a conservative that kind of nails what I was trying to say all during the last primary season and through the general election. Our country is in so much trouble, on so many different fronts, that we should really think more clearly and thoughtfully about what kind of people we think are capable of getting us through it. Peggy is writing this with the Republicans in mind specifically, in the sense that they need to rally together to truly pick the brightest person in their party to win next time around. But I think this is true in either party, and any others that would like to crop up as well.

So, if you're a Sarah fan, you can ignore Peggy's comments about her specifically, or realize that those comments are not what I'm talking about today. But for the bottom line thoughts that each party should really think about for their futures, it's worth the read.

Thoughts that should matter...

While reading my news feeds this morning, I came across an article that really caught my attention. The full text is really worth the read if you go in with an open mind. A lot of people will think it just a slam on Sarah Palin, but honestly, those parts of the article are not at all what caught my eye. What was interesting is it's an article by a conservative that kind of nails what I was trying to say all during the last primary season and through the general election. Our country is in so much trouble, on so many different fronts, that we should really think more clearly and thoughtfully about what kind of people we think are capable of getting us through it. Peggy is writing this with the Republicans in mind specifically, in the sense that they need to rally together to truly pick the brightest person in their party to win next time around. But I think this is true in either party, and any others that would like to crop up as well.

So, if you're a Sarah fan, you can ignore Peggy's comments about her specifically, or realize that those comments are not what I'm talking about today. But for the bottom line thoughts that each party should really think about for their futures, it's worth the read.

A sad 24 hours...

By now everyone has heard the news of those that left us in the last 24 hours. We've listened to news, read many many peoples' facebook posts (mine included) and blogged about it. All that are old enough to remember them, at least feel that there is a sense of loss for three people that were pretty special in their day, and into today.

I heard about Farrah from my sister's FB comment. We all expected that to be sooner vs. later, as we at least knew she'd taken a turn for the worse, even after her documentary aired last month. She only stayed on Charlie's Angles for 1 season, but that was enough to get her into the hearts of millions... that and the poster that every boy over the age of 12 had in the 70s. However, as good as she was playing the part she was hired to play for that series, she was never better than in the movie The Burning Bed. I didn't think she'd ever have it in her for a part like that, but she played that brilliantly.

Ed McMahon will likely be the lesser known to a lot of people today, but with as funny as Johnny Carson was, I enjoyed the parts of his show that had Ed in them. The two of them were great together.

Michael Jackson is just a huge loss though. I know he got fairly strange later in life, but it is still amazing how great he was and how great of an impact he made in the music world from such a young age. I loved him singing when he was very little all the way up to when he stopped making music. The most unfortunate thing is that his behavior in the latter part of his life will overshadow that brilliance to many of the younger crowd that didn't know him before his unfortunate change. I only wish they would have had a chance to know more than just that side to realize what a loss it is for him to have died too. My nephew said it best on his FB update tonight when he commented the following...

"farrah fawsett and micheal jackson...same day! if you call yourself a man or a music lover,today is a sad day."

I couldn't have said it better Brian... thanks for the right words. Brian is way younger than I am, but he gets it.

It would be really nice to see these people honored for what they accomplished and maybe not picked apart so much now that they're no longer with us.

May they all rest in peace....

Happy Fathers Day Dad

I almost made it through my first Fathers Day in 9 years without tears. But then Tim mentioned my Dad to me, and well, so much for that. Now don't get me wrong, no tears certainly didn't mean he wasn't thought of. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of him in one context or another. I said my Happy Father's Day to him last night when I got in bed, and again first thing this morning. But this year, I did that small task without the tears. Maybe that's a good sign, or maybe the every day thoughts have started removing just a small piece of sadness.

You see, the every day thoughts are no longer about the same types of things. They aren't always consumed with thoughts of wishing he were here to see the girls do this or that, or knowing how proud he'd be of them for everything they do, or worrying that my girls didn't get enough time with him so that they'd remember him the way I do, or wondering how he thought I was doing as a mother. They also aren't around worrying about his illness. I no longer linger on those things quite as much as I used to. I believe that he knows how well they've turned out and yes, how proud he'd be. That is never a question in my mind any more. I'm relieved that he no longer has pain in his life every day. So for those things, maybe I have been able to move on. It's not that I never think those thoughts at all, but I don't think of them as often as I used to.

Now, I think of Dad in the every day things like what's happening in the news and what he'd say about situations when we'd watch together. I think about him and reminisce every time I watched a Celtics game this year (although they could have used his help a bit more during the playoffs). Maybe he was too busy in heaven arguing with Aunt Betty and Uncle Bud about the Eagles vs. the Bills to remember it was Basketball season. I think of him when my kids tell stories because they tell them just like he did... with excruciating detail that we really didn't need to know (:-) But, when I think of those kinds of things now, it's with smiles and not tears. The memories of happy times vs. sad times have started to play out more. Maybe I'm slow, but nine years later, it's comforting to know that when he enters my thoughts, the tears are more happy than sad. He was the greatest... so once again Happy Fathers Day to the BEST DAD EVER!!!!!

Jon Stewart/Mike Huckabee interview

I watched the Daily Show last night and Mike Huckabee was the guest. For full disclosure, I like Mike. I would love to get a bite to eat with him and chat, but never believed he was a viable Presidential candidate... but that doesn't play into this. My point isn't even about him specifically. But the topic he chose to talk about last night which was Pro-Life, which immediately went to Abortion. And that is the point of this post. Why when people speak of pro-life, does it only apply to abortion? I know I've mentioned this before in my posts, but watching the interview on line to see all parts of it, brought it back into my mind yet again. For all three parts of the interview, go here

During the interview, I found myself wanting Jon to ask my question. There were many opportunities for it to be the "next question". Mike was explaining how every life no matter what is valuable... that no one can say one life is better than another, etc. And I completely agree with that. However, it's at that point in every one of these interviews with pro-life people, that I want the interviewer to ask what their views are about the death penalty. And yet... no one ever goes there. Why is that? In fact, my daughter was watching with me who is extremely Christian in her values and she doesn't get why no one asks either.

I want pro-life folks (and yes I mean the extreme pro-lifers that try to ruin otherwise intelligent conversations on the topic) to explain to me if they are so pro-life, why are the majority of them also so pro-death penalty. The more extreme they are on the pro-life agenda for abortion, the more extreme they seem to be on being pro-death penalty and that just doesn't add up to me. If every life is really that important and no one should be able to determine one has more value than another, how can they then do that very same thing when it comes to putting someone to death. It's a bit of a contradiction that they won't ever own up to.

Jon Stewart did an excellent job of explaining how difficult this topic is for people and that he believes that more people need to learn to come together to understand each side. That pro-choice people are NOT pro-abortion and don't even necessarily like the notion of abortion at all. It's more that they don't like the notion of a government taking away their rights to their own bodies. He is a father that happens to be for life, but a person that is for choice. I completely get that. I completely believe that no one will ever change someones mind on this subject at all. You can firmly stand on the choice or no-choice side, but that doesn't mean that you are pro-abortion. However I think if you claim to stand on the absolute side of pro-life, you MUST stand on it completely or be labeled a hypocrite if you are also pro-death penalty.

If you can't separate those two things, then stop touting the pro-life label and maybe change it to strictly pro-fetus.

Another disclaimer... I would never have an abortion myself... don't believe in it personally, but yes, I do feel that should be my decision, not the governments. I will answer to my decisions at a later point, and to someone much more important than anyone in my government.

This is the sweetest thing ever. Have to watch to the end...

Another proud moment...

Earlier this week, I wrote a proud mama blog about my youngest. This one is about my oldest. Check out this picture she brought home today. She drew this in art class with charcoal. She has quite a talent (and no, she didn't get this from me... everyone else in my family maybe, but me... no).

Proud mamma...

I've been told recently, by more than Tim, that I don't write often enough in my blog. So, what better reason to write than to brag about my kids. Both girls give me good reason to brag often, but tonight this ones about my youngest. I just returned from a COW (Celebration of Writing) night at her school. There were a dozen kids chosen from all the ELA classes in her grade to read aloud at the celebration, the poem or childrens' book that they wrote for class. She wrote and illustrated a childrens' book called "Who Are They From", about a boy looking for something to do one day and goes outside to find a present for him with clues to find more presents. The mystery is who they are from and what they are leading him too. Even though she claimed to be nervous, she didn't appear to be when it came her time to read her book to the audience. She stood there at the microphone and projected perfectly... great intonation and enthusiasm. She did a great job on the book and the presentation, and I am quite proud of her.

In all, there were 4 books chosen to be read and about 8 poems. The rest of the kids writings were on display after the presentation for our viewing pleasure. The best part about the books is that they were written for a purpose. All of the childrens books will be going to Uganda Africa for the children there that leave their villages every night to walk 6 miles to another town to sleep, as their villages aren't safe at night. The books will be kept in the town they go to, for bedtime reading or classes. Each morning, the kids walk back to their villages to be with the rest of their family. Most of the mothers of these children are HIV positive, as well as some of the kids themselves. So, knowing that our kids put as much work into this as they did to help out those in Uganda, made the night that much more special. They do a lot of good deeds in her school, so not only am I proud of her for the work she did, but also of her school for continuously looking for opportunities like this, and engaging our kids in them. Kudos to the teachers for caring so much for others.

When will she ever learn

I can't possibly be the only one that thinks Gov. Palin should stop talking. She needs to learn to leave well enough alone. Throughout the entire campaign, she touted the Christian values, yet last week, she had an open discussion that just about trashed anyone she could think of from her own campaign. The most ludicrous was that prior to the VP campaign she was looking around for someone to pray with and there wasn't one person on the McCain campaign that she wanted to pray with... so she prayed with her youngest daughter piper. Here is her quote:

"So I'm looking around for somebody to pray with, I just need maybe a little help, maybe a little extra," she said of the moments before the debate. "And the McCain campaign, love 'em, you know, they're a lot of people around me, but nobody I could find that I wanted to hold hands with and pray."

As a Christian, aren't we supposed to pray with and for our fellow man. If she couldn't find anyone "worthy" of praying with, then maybe she should have been praying FOR them instead of maligning them. Shame on her! Please don't just talk the talk...

Dobson out...

While reading my news today, I ran across the article that explains that Dr. James Dobson, of Focus on the Family is stepping down his board position. He will remain the spokesman for his causes, but no longer remain on the board. Now, that's not really news to most of the world, and not my point at all in publishing this non news. But in the comments section of the article, there was one that I must share... as I couldn't have said it better myself. About Dobson specifically, as well as about all who go to extremes on anything. It follows:
_______________________________

Once a LONG time ago, I once admired Jim Dobson. His advice on raising children was sage.

BUT…… something happened to James Dobson, he went OFF the DEEP END of EXTREMISM. Whenever people become EXTREMISTS, whether they'd be from the LEFT OR RIGHT….. you become irrelevant! You become "noise" ….. and in some cases, like in Dobson's …. hateful. Any extreme view denies the possibility of MIDDLE GROUND. For life is not …… always black & white!

Sadly, Dobson became a hater, while STILL claiming to be Christian! As a Christian, who knows well what JESUS asked of us, I am disturbed by Dobson's rhetoric, his hate for anyone who is different from him.

DR. DOBSON, I HOPE THAT YOU WILL FIND PEACE……. THAT YOU WILL REMEMBER IN YOUR OLD AGE, THAT WE HAVE A ………LOVING GOD…… WHO ASKS US ALL TO LOVE ……….. AND LEAVE THE JUDGING UP TO ….HIM!

What am I missing...

I did it again yesterday. I turned on am talk radio and there is good and bad news. The good news is that Rush Limbaugh wasn't on his own show, so I didn't have to endure him. The bad news is that the show was still on with a replacement. Of course, the topic was the limit that President Obama wants to put on Executives pay for companies taking bailout monies. And, of course, that was leading to socialism (isn't everything in their opinion lately). What I don't understand is how they keep changing their opinions to make it seem like they agree with everyone that calls in, regardless of what side they are on. The prevailing opinion yesterday is that we cannot dictate what the private sector does and how they run their companies. That will be the complete decline of our country. What they keep forgetting to say (so that their avid listeners will stay on their side) is that the proposal is ONLY for companies requesting government aide... NOT every private sector company. How does that make government involved in all private sector companies and make it a complete government run country.

To the talk shows credit, they actually did allow one caller through that was trying desperately to make this point. But... a "good" talk show radio host knows when this is coming. And since they never want their listeners to actually hear that they are missing the point, he quickly said "sorry, we have to go to break". Click. Ahh. Free speech at it's greatest.

If these companies have been run so poorly that they go to the government for help, they SHOULD have to accept the governments terms for the money. However, if they don't want to accept those terms, run your companies better and you won't need their help in the first place. Having said that, I know there are ligitimate companies that are in trouble now just due to the economy. But I'll go out on a limb here and guess that those are not the companies that will complain about following the rules if they want the help. Maybe these talk show hosts are just afraid they will get their multi-million dollar contracts taken away in this bad economy. If that were to happen, all hell would break loose. People would actually have to form their own opinions rather than just regurgitate what Rush tells them to think. Heavens... we can't have that.

Things that make you go hmmm...

Here is insight to why it is that the rich people weren't really the ones that were complaining when the then Presidential Nominee Obama talked of raising taxes on those making more than $250K a year. I didn't hear much complaining from the rich Hollywood types or the huge business earners. The complaining was from all the politicians that said it was socialism. Well, this article proves that some of those people would actually still go for paying more taxes on what they make. Having said that, it does sound like this particular executive may be way more selfless than others. But, I like the idea anyway.

What he said...

While I don't agree with all the spending items listed in the proposed Stimulus Bill, I do agree we need to get moving, and quickly. So no further editorializing necessary on this article. Stop getting in the way and start doing something about the economy. Enough said...

Twilight view (from the mom perspective)

The following is a comment I made to another blog article on Twilight. The original blog was questioning why (or what) the evangelical crowd thinks of the new Twilight book series... since they had such issues with Harry Potter. As a Christian, I don't have a problem with either series from that perspective, as I realize it's all fiction and don't believe my kids think otherwise. However, I also find it interesting that I haven't heard much from them about this. Here was my response to the other blog.
.....

It's taken me a while to respond to this, mostly because I wanted to see if I could find out anything about the evangelical point of view. I tried looking on line and haven't found much either except for the fact that some of them are trying to say it's good because it somehow teaches good points of Christianity and how they feel about demons, etc. I don't see that at all. But those are the same ones that claimed Lord of the Rings had great Christian sub-stories at the same time as Harry Potter was just pure evil.

I asked my oldest if she'd heard anything in church or anything from other kids her age and nope... she hasn't. She also doesn't understand why HP was so bad... but also has refused to read or watch that series, mostly because of the hype at this point.

Having said all that, I don't have any trouble with the books based on any Christian beliefs because I'm quite capable of differentiating something that is just entertainment from thinking my kids will start studying witchcraft (in the HP sense) or determining that there are real vampires or wearwolfs (in the Twilight sense). However, I have had conversations about this new series of books with my girls for different reasons.

As a mother of girls, I have real issues with the way that Bella is portrayed with her "obsession" with Edward. It's not a healthy relationship from the perspective of Bella at all for teenage girls. She is so completely obsessed that she spirals into the deepest depression ever when he leaves (for her own safety). While in that deep depression, she then clings to Jacob as a friend, but just as hard as she did to Edward. All the time she's obsessed with either of these boys, she has no other life at all. She does nothing with other friends, etc. When with Edward all she's thinking of is how to get him to have sex with her or when it is she can end her life to be with him (her first boyfriend) for all eternity as a vampire. Blah Blah. The whole storyline is about what she'll do to have him, what she'll give up to have him, how she'd die if he weren't around, how much trouble and near death experience she puts up with just to be near him. And all of that stems from how poor a view she has of herself and how she never feels worthy to even be in his presence. What is that all about for young girls to hear. Crazy.

They are entertaining and quick easy reading like HP, but the sub-context of "he is all that will ever matter in my life and I'd die without him and die to be with him" is NOT a good lesson for the age girls that are reading these books. As I said to my ex-husband when he had issues with the HP books... "it's a parents job to understand what they are reading and talk to them about your own views if you think they're not smart enough to realize this is fiction". I hope more parents, of girls especially, are talking to their girls about these books as well. Not a healthy look at a first relationship at all... in my opinion. Hopefully parents are paying attention and speaking to their girls. I know I am.

And... yes... I'm on the 4th book myself and only started reading them about 3 weeks ago. After reading the first one, knowing my girls had read them all (or in the process of doing so) I really need to know how far it all goes. But, we've already spoken about my view of how Bella is portrayed in the relationship department.

It's about time...

Better late than never I guess, but President Bush finally did the right thing on his very last day by commuting the 2 border agents sentences. Unfortunately, the criminal record stands, but at least they can be home now where they should have been all along.

It just never ends

The big news today on CNN, with everything else going on, is that Levi Johnston "had" to quit his job. That in itself is not news at all. But what's behind it may be.

First off, I had not heard that folks were complaining about him having the job as apprentice since he did not have the proper educational requirements. However, if that is one of the rules, than he shouldn't have had the job to begin with. The fact that his educational requirements somehow just slipped thru the cracks is doubtful. The point might just be... how then did he acquire the job in the first place. Could it have been that since he was going to marry Gov. Palin's daughter Bristol, that maybe she had a hand in getting that job for him? I'm sure that is part of it. So, then is it right for her to complain that this is a "political potshot" at her? That's crazy... unless she's somehow guilty of his educational requirements slipping through those cracks. If she was going to pull strings for him, maybe she should have insisted he get his diploma and then pulled those strings so it could not be scrutinized so much.

The most laughable quote of the article is from Levi's father when he states that "He's being treated different than an average 18-year-old kid. He has to do everything by the book now." Now? Does that imply that he didn't before, or that it's going to be so hard for him to be by the book now that he's in the spotlight.

I said during the campaign that the kids should be left out of this. But again, it appears that Gov. Palin still has a hand in keeping them in the spotlight. Does she believe that all this stuff really just makes her look like all the everyday Americans out there. Maybe she's still counting on that for another election. However, if she did get that job for him knowing that he didn't have the qualifications, did she really think no one would find out. Again, it screams of how much she thinks she can just do what she wants and get away with it. When she doesn't get away with it and anyone questions her, she screams at the press for bringing it up.

Then again, maybe she's just completely innocent of everything and the world is really just against her for reasons unknown to her. Hmmmm...